Wierdest break up you will encounter. Help me please

[fightorflightSK]

So I've been in several relationships and have never experienced or heard of something like this in my life.

I have been talking to this girl for 2 years. Let me rephrase, 2 years of her chasing me while I have been busy with studies and such. She would always ask to meet up and in simple terms be quite clingy. We would go months without talking, then one of us would instigate it again and off we go.

About a month ago, we met up and everything went perfect. Something you would see out of a chick-flick. She came over to watch movies, cuddled, generally it was like we were perfect for each other. The week after we did the same thing as i was hungover, this time it went even better. As i said I've been in several relationships, i can tell when a date is horrid but this was...perfect (Possibly the best date where i made someone so happy). She wouldn't stop kissing or playing her games to get my attention which was cute.

A week after this she messages me saying she has lost interest and that we are too 'different'.
You can understand my confusion. We've been talking for 2 years on and off, her chasing me, she finally has me and she is loving every second of it then she pulls this. I have never in my life...

My first real 'love' break up was very tough on me and by this point i expect it. Right as i was getting to really really like her, she pulls this.
I understand life goes on. I just want a female outlook on what could have possibly gone wrong?
Everything was out of a movie guys. I am baffled.

Please give me some thoughts to clear my head.

Also i asked her to talk it out, tell me whats wrong and her response was

"Anon...Please, I cant" It just seems so sketchy

[michelle23]

There are men and women like her. They just want what they cant have and when they get it... The trill of the chase. Its like some ego boosting self esteem thing. Its messed up really and your better off well away from her.

I had someone chase me for 6 months years ago-he even wrote me love songs etc which just gave me the creeps as he was acting like my bf. He text/rang all the time. He literally would not give up and I told him so many times I'm not interested. It was complicated because I was good friends with one of his friends at the time who also had a crush on me and I didn't want to upset him. Eventually I started to like him and my good friend told me its okay if I want to go out with his friend so I did. After a week or two he got bored and moved onto another girl without telling me. I was fairly pissed to be honest but I got over it fairly fast lol.

Eventually ended up going out with the good friend which was an even bigger disaster lol

Lots of lessons learned.

By the way I was like 15/16 at the time so I didnt know what I wanted but it was all a waste of time.

[Rowen]

I can't offer you a woman's point of view, since I'm a guy, but I've been through this before...

For me, it was a man I met and had hit it off with for quite a while. In the beginning, I wasn't too terribly interested, but after some time, I had grown close to him and wanted him as a boyfriend. In the end, after we hung out, he finally told me that he "tried feeling something for me, but that he was no longer interested." Keep in mind, our date went a bit like yours-- holding hands in the car, opening doors for each other, and deep talks followed by a kiss.
My point is that, to be honest, there are women and men out there like that. And it hurts guys like us because we finally seem to really want it, but we can't have it. And it confuses us because we don't know why they'd go through all of that and then turn right around and tell us they're not interested. It's just like Michelle said; they chase you and, when they have you, they throw you away. That's exactly what the guy I was talking to did to me; he even asked me for advice afterwards on how to go back to his ex.

Your safest bet is to move on. I wouldn't talk to her anymore, if I were you, or at least not for a very long time if you want her as a friend. There are better women out there who will seriously appreciate you for who you are and respect you enough not to play sick games like this. You just have to realize she was a tease and that you deserve so much better. That's what happened with me, and I pursued someone else...but that is another story.
I hope this helps a little...

[rob1984]

hmm, I would just ignore her and see if she keeps coming back, you had all control until you gave it.. now she is in control.. have you seen the show " two and half men " when charlie's stalker Rose keeps coming at him, and he rejects her over and over, until one day he gives in and she is no longer interested and it drives him nuts.. well she got control now and was not as interested.. Turn it around and have some fun.. she will be intrigued. Maybe she fell for you those couple of days and is scared, she thinks why all of a suddden you have interest. ect..

[Rowen]

hmm, I would just ignore her and see if she keeps coming back, you had all control until you gave it.. now she is in control.. have you seen the show " two and half men " when charlie's stalker Rose keeps coming at him, and he rejects her over and over, until one day he gives in and she is no longer interested and it drives him nuts.. well she got control now and was not as interested.. Turn it around and have some fun.. she will be intrigued. Maybe she fell for you those couple of days and is scared, she thinks why all of a suddden you have interest. ect..

^ This is how we get sucked into childish games.

Why would you want to play some kid's games when you could find something worthwhile, OP?

[rob1984]

and thats when OP has to choose to play it.. personally I would not.. ignore her and see if she comes back.. if she does then be straight forward.. she plays again leave for good

[Rowen]

and thats when OP has to choose to play it.. personally I would not.. ignore her and see if she comes back.. if she does then be straight forward.. she plays again leave for good

Nine times out of ten, if you're going to play someone's game, you're going to lose. OP, regardless of what you decide, please be aware of that.

[smackie9]

When one chases, they obsess and when they obsess they conjure up an image of what the object of their desire is like with their imagination (this happens in LDRs as well). But the image they have of that person is distorted by all the fantasies they have of them. They make them out to be their ideal dream lover. When the day comes when they are finally allowed to be with that person, they play out their fantasy only to find out they are not what they has envisioned and it is an emotional blow. They see the mistake and quickly jump out of it. This is what I think happened.

[ashley89]

it isn't really a break-up because you didn't have a real relationship, but I think she just lost interest. maybe she was interested in you in the past but things changed, or she changed her mind. it happens.

[fightorflightSK]

it isn't really a break-up because you didn't have a real relationship, but I think she just lost interest. maybe she was interested in you in the past but things changed, or she changed her mind. it happens.

And that is completely fine, as I said I've been here before but 100x worse. I've learned to accept these things and will get over it soon.
However, I would like some insight into why a week prior she is all lovey dovey like she is on top of the world and then after a week she has 'lost interest', things just don't work like that.

[VincenzoG91]

And that is completely fine, as I said I've been here before but 100x worse. I've learned to accept these things and will get over it soon.
However, I would like some insight into why a week prior she is all lovey dovey like she is on top of the world and then after a week she has 'lost interest', things just don't work like that.

She wasn't in love with you, she was in love with the idea of being in love with you. The reality was nice, but nowhere near as good as what she built up in her imagination for two years. I wouldn't bother staying in touch with her if I were you.

[ashley89]

like smackie said maybe she had a different idea of you in her head and then when she actually got to be with you it wasn't the same so she didn't feel that same level of interest. it might have not lived up to her expectations or maybe it was just a challenge for her to accomplish and once she did she wasn't interested anymore.

[Lord Darkshire]

And that is completely fine, as I said I've been here before but 100x worse. I've learned to accept these things and will get over it soon.
However, I would like some insight into why a week prior she is all lovey dovey like she is on top of the world and then after a week she has 'lost interest', things just don't work like that.

Yes they can. It could be one of these: you didn't fulfill her expectations, someone else came along she liked better, or she wants to play games and wants you to chase her to test how much you like her.

[fightorflightSK]

She wasn't in love with you, she was in love with the idea of being in love with you. The reality was nice, but nowhere near as good as what she built up in her imagination for two years. I wouldn't bother staying in touch with her if I were you.

Yes they can. It could be one of these: you didn't fulfill her expectations, someone else came along she liked better, or she wants to play games and wants you to chase her to test how much you like her.

My question is this, if I wasn't 'meeting her expectations' why would she have been over my house a week before hooking up with me and letting me do all these things while also planning to go on a picnic the week after, where when I drop her off she comes back and kisses me goodbye again and then a week after she says she has 'lost interest', I mean if that makes sense to any of you then maybe I'm just stupid.

Surely if I lost interest with a girl and I wanted to give them one last chance to peek my interest, doing any of those things would be the last thing on my mind.

There is absolutely no logic in it what so ever.

[smackie9]

Girls are like that my friend. I was like that when I was 15. I lost interest after about two weeks. Some just expect more, some just throw themselves into the role and find themselves not really feeling it after awhile, or the excitment of being with someone wears off quickly. maybe she was hoping for more of a spark and nothing happened....fizzled out.

Or she just stuck it to ya for ignoring her for two years.