A trip to Tokyo, turned to be more of a thrilling love story..Please help me out!!!!!

[mimi1184]

Hi all,

I have a problem, I fell in love with this very beautiful, chic, intelligent and elegant Japanese woman right in the most classiest and modern city in the world, Tokyo.

Well, I'll water for you guys all what happened in details. It should be an interesting read.

First off, I met with this woman through a Japanese language exchange website. She was looking for somebody to chat with in French language since she studies French language at the moment. So, I contacted her, and told her that I can help your French and stuff. After introducing each other, we exchanged our ID's of LINE app (it's an app for smartphones that works like skype). Later on, we started chatting from time to time through that app. I was planning to come to Tokyo to spend few days (not because of her anyways).. but I decided to let her know prior so if she wants to meet for a drink. So guess she didn't mind, and told me we can meet when I'm in Tokyo and go to a cafe or something.

So, after about 15 days from our first contact, I arrived to Tokyo. I told her that I'm in Tokyo but I wasn't so thrilled to meet her anyways, because I was so busy during those days, and I was even thinking to scrap the whole thing down (Now I'm thankful that I didn't). My schedule was completely full and tight. At the end, I decided to accept her invitation for a dinner in the splurge district of Akasaka. She brought her friend with her and we decided to meet right next to Akasaka Metro Station around 6 pm. So, it was my first time to see her in person. She talked to me in French and her French was pretty decent, I was surprised.

Then, we went three of us to an African restaurant where she planned to have the dinner. It was just about 5 min from the station. We sat three of us and we ordered. So, then we started talking and talking (both in French and Japanese language). Around 9 pm I started to feel tired (I was traveling around the whole day from 8 am), so I just told her that I'm tired (then I saw this awkward expression on her pretty face), so I just told them we can stay more. So she then, told me if we can order again (lol)!! So we did.. and we kept talking all the time about different topics, I was feeling like she wanted to talk the whole night but I was extremely tired that I gave up and we left around 10 pm.

On our way back to the station, she said to me: "I never expected you would be that good (but she told me that she felt that I was, when we were contacting on internet). And she said she wants to visit me in Osaka or when I come again to Tokyo to eat again together a nice dinner. I was feeling a really nice vibe from her. I felt a bit sorry for her friend, since it didn't feel like she was with us at all that night.

So, we said goodbyes, but since then, we talk everyday on LINE. She always messages me to ask about me, what I did during the day, where I will go ect... And we take photos of where we went that day and we send to each other. She wasn't like that before we met in person. Her attitude definitely changed after we met, and positively I believe. She even changed her LINE photo after we met to a beautifully shaped heart photo??!!!

The thing is, this woman was the one that I was looking for for ages. She is my type, and she is the one that I'd love to end up marrying with.
Very intelligent, shy, classy and beautiful (with very light make-up). I'm older than her by one year sharp and we have a lot in common as well.
I'm in my mid 20's.

Now, the fear that I have is, for a successful woman like her, it's pretty obvious that she'll get tons of proposals from not only normal guys like me, but from rich and high position folks as well. So I'm afraid that maybe if I don't confess my love to her or if I stay too long here in Osaka, maybe somebody else will win her heart out there in Tokyo (sooner or later).

Guys, I need your suggestions. What do you think about her, and what you think about the next step that I should take. And how can I make her feel I'm more worthy than any other guy that has money, stature, affluence ect ect...

I would really appreciate your feedback and propositions and anything that could help me build a great foundation of long lasting relationship with her.

Thank you for reading this through.

[basilandthyme]

Sorry to bust your bubble, but this is infatuation - not love. The two can be very confusing, but truth is, you barely know her.

Has she shown any interest in having a relationship with you? Are you willing to move to Tokyo to be with her?

[pcmaster]

If you both could find a way to see each other at least 4 times a year, it will work. Temporary. Like - "Do you love her? Then why are you not together?" Distance does not make sense. You can think about money but it will ruin everything else that is free - like true feelings and richness of spirit. Best things is free - like love.

Really sounds like amazing girl but realise that she wouldnt be so amazing without you being near and not everyone can see all the beauty that you can see in her. Otherwise there would be 100 guys around all the time. Also realise that you are not so atracted to her alone but also to special suroundings like Japan, restaurants, basically breath of life that came with her. Meeting her at local shop wouldnt be so amazing adventure.

[Valixy]

Niceee! Maybe you're falling in love...? I think that you should follow your heart and look for possibilities to meet her again, spend more time with her...I doubt she would bring her friend again. She seems to be very interested in getting to know you too, very possibly that she is also feeling the same...It all seems to go in right way from my perspective, you two just need to look for and find the occasions to start spending some quality time together when it's possible. It might begin as a LDR and then who knows...? But yes, you two really need to get to know each other besides this beautiful connection that you two have. There will always be 'competition' around the person that interests us, so try not to worry about it to much and take your chance! Maintain the stimulating communication, organize a new trip to Tokio...If you don't feel ready to tell her it would be for being with her, invent you have a reason to go there again soon but let her know that you will have more time available to spend with her and you're looking forward to that...You should always have a gentle initiative of course and meet her in circumstances she is totally comfortable with

[mimi1184]

Thank you guys for your initiatives.

Well, basilandthyme, you said infatuation and I say that love starts with such details (infatuation, fascination, respect, ect...), right? Well, I basically barely know her but what I know well is, she is a really intelligent wise person. You can feel such at the first impression. That's the type of woman that I look for and I'm sure you don't meet such personalities everyday. Nowadays' women are very wide and too whacky in their acts. Such laid back women is what I look for. Also what actually plays a big role is she speaks French and that's good as well.

pcmaster, I'd love to move to Tokyo after 6 months, just to be beside her, but in case I know for sure she wants to live with me!!! How about that? That's why, I want to know if she actually loves me for real so I can be able to change my plans and move up to the capital city. I love her the way she is, we only met for once but I definitely fell in love for different reasons. Of course the settings, the splurge place that she chose ect.. played a massive role but still, I liked her regardless of what the entourage suggested.

valixy, you are true. We need to meet and spend more time. She is definitely interested in me, otherwise she wouldn't contact me everyday. But the thing is, we don't know whether she loves me that much or at least yet?!!! So, I want to confess my love to her but I'm afraid everything will be ruined. It's very critical. I'm going to take a big risk if she actually have no feelings for me. I'll lose her as friend as well in case of. It's complicated.

[Valixy]

Oh, yes, confessing one's feelings is always a little bit delicate but wonderful in the same time. The kind of interest she shows in you is more than friendly and I think you agree on this. You had one first amazing date and the daily interaction which would not be so intense if there wouldn't be some feelings on both parts. There are ways of starting to express your feelings without making huge declarations of love yet: telling her how happy you are that you two have met, how much she makes you feel when she communicates with you, you can start admitting that you're thinking of her, that you miss receiving a note from her, surprise her with texts yourself and pics that you take thinking of her and especially for her, compliment her as you are getting to know her...I think that she will get message... I personally think that she will respond positively to this and start sharing some of her feelings too. If she does not feel in a similar way for you, than she will let you know, but I don't think it's going to be the case. She might even share some of your insecurities actually, would a guy like him really like me, he must be surrounded by women, etc.

I think you'll just know when to tell her that you feel more...Some people find it easier to do it on line, others think it's something that should be told in person...I think that it might be wise to wait until you have your second date, maybe? But really there are no rules about this, aren't they? And how you should continue from there, it will just come naturally to you...

[mimi1184]

You are true bro.

We were actually teasing each today. We were talking about our fav cars and she said she loves Italian cars, and she would have a Maserati if she were rich. Then I said, I prefer Japanese cars and I'm setting a goal to have an Infiniti G37 after 5 years from now.. THEN she replied by I want to be with a guy that has maserati after 5 years from now LOL.

Then I told her, I just wanna be with a woman that is poor but intelligent and have big heart so I can support her... THEN she said it's very possible you can get it, it's much easier task than mine ;P. Then she asked me if I have a girlfriend at the moment..!!!! It's her first time that she asks me such a question.

Also, I told her that I caught cold, and she replied to me like "oh oh oh, no way that's not good, please take care of yourself...it's still cold around"!!!

I don't know if these are any big indications of her love to me... You guys what you say?

[Valixy]

That sweet teasing is so revealing little by little, isn't it? Enjoy...

[mimi1184]

Alright, after more than a month, I want to update what has happened through between us and I'd like to hear your thoughts guys. Thanks in advance. Thanks a bunch.

Since then, our communication dropped a bit and we started to talk every 3/4 days. Once, I didn't write her in a week. I just thought I'd give her some space, but when she replied to my late sent message, she said that it's a long time and she was in fact worrying about me all the time and she is happy to hear from me again... I wrote her back telling that I'll be always be near you, do never worry.

After, I didn't get any message from her in a week. Then I was wondering why she is taking all this time. I wrote her once again after one week and she was all happy to get my message. However, I decided to tell her that it's better for both of us to communicate everyday at least once. And she said, yes you are right, we should do that.

And indeed we talk more regularly now. But, what blew me away is what she wrote me last thursday. What she wrote was too powerful for me that I really got shocked. And let's say pleasantly shocked.

I told her prior that I'm sick today, so I'll go back home early. Then she wished me a quick recovery and to get well, and then she asked me how do I feel now. I replied to her before I go to sleep, and I told her, I feel better, but it's always the pain I have in the left side of body (she knows I have this problem).. anyways, then I told her I hope I can sleep better tonight.

So then her reply to me (It was around 1 AM and she usually sleep so early) that was unexpected and I'd say I wouldn't expect it even from my mother (My mother never said to me that or anyonelse).

She said to me: I'm suffering because your pain.. I will be praying for you all this night long so you can sleep..

This woman is? I thought it was just too beautiful, too romantic, too loving... Just wow. I'm still trying to grasp what she said.

Your thoughts please? What you think about her? I've always thought she was sincere from the start, but what she said now is above everything.

Thanks a lot.

[Boisdevie]

We need to meet and spend more time.

So how exactly are you going to do that? That is the big issue because otherwise talking on the phone for hours and hours will achieve nothing. And unless you have access to a teleportation device the distance will make seeing each other very very difficult won't it?

[searock]

She said to me: I'm suffering because your pain.. I will be praying for you all this night long so you can sleep..

You do know that that might just be part of her culture, to say something like that? In the same way that we say "bless you" when someone sneezes...

Anyway, if she really did stay up all night praying for you to sleep (time zones, btw?), then she has issues...

OP, when are you planning to meet her again in person? Until you do, all you have is a fantasy.

Just so you know, I know where you're coming from. I used to think I was "in love" with a foreigner guy I met abroad and had a "fling" with, when I was 15. Then I grew up.

[haxan]

You're pretty worked up over someone you've been around 1 day in your life. Love at first sight I guess.

[pcmaster]

Shes just a internet friend man. Yes you did meet her once in beautiful place but now all that keeps you together is that thin internet cable. Dont think you should keep communicating with her till next time you are in Tokyo.In fact next time you are there just call her and meet in real life. Realise that you are in Canada right now and theres lots of beautiful girls. Just keep your eyes open so you wont miss them. Now shes a nice Tokyo girl but you are Tokyo now so it dont makes sense. Canadian girl would make 100 times more sense. Seriously man looking out on a street for beautiful girls will help your mind focus in real time.

When it's hard to believe, I pray
For the minimum of love...I will find a way
Minimum of love, I'll say goodbye
Leaving it all behind...
Don't you go away
'Cause I'll never find someone like you...

Forget the past, Let it go, clean your mind, clean your heart, let yourself to love again.

Everything is simple. If you wana have fun then do something.

youtube.com/watch?v=RTuBf4BrIgE

[mimi1184]

So how exactly are you going to do that? That is the big issue because otherwise talking on the phone for hours and hours will achieve nothing. And unless you have access to a teleportation device the distance will make seeing each other very very difficult won't it?

There is no much of a distance. I live in Osaka, she lives in Tokyo. We are in the same country and I can visit her every weekend if I had enough money.
She knows that as well. She knows we can eventually work this up together. I'm planning to move to Tokyo next year to live with her. And yes, we are going to be together.
And believe me, if it's true love, distance really doesn't matter. And if it's not true love, even if I'm with her everyday, we will just eventually just break up.

[mimi1184]

You do know that that might just be part of her culture, to say something like that? In the same way that we say "bless you" when someone sneezes...

Anyway, if she really did stay up all night praying for you to sleep (time zones, btw?), then she has issues...

OP, when are you planning to meet her again in person? Until you do, all you have is a fantasy.

Just so you know, I know where you're coming from. I used to think I was "in love" with a foreigner guy I met abroad and had a "fling" with, when I was 15. Then I grew up.

Part of her culture? Japanese culture? You could expect anything from a Japanese person bar such feelings. They are the most vague human been.
And believe me, in Japanese culture they even can't say 'I love you' even if they are "in true love". The word for I love you in Japanese is Aishiteru... and this word is never used unless in extreme cases between long married couples or die to die kind of situation. So basically, her saying 'I suffer your pain' was even more surprising to me because of her culture, Japanese woman never says that unless it's kind of eternal love. I even asked few Japanese friends and they were completely staggered because they never heard something as meaningful from their lovers.

Again, you guys realize that we live in the same country? I live in Osaka and she lives in Tokyo. If I take the shinkansen (high speed train) from Shin-Osaka Station I can find myself in the middle of Tokyo in 2h30 min. She wanted to express her concern to me and thus she wanted to pray for me. I don't see any issue with that. She loves me. I can do that for somebody I love, and you as well I believe .

I don't see any fantasy. True love is not fantasy. She don't have to be physically next to me in order to feel her love. But anyways, I'm planning to go in a month from now and I'm already planning a complete day for her.

You were 15, I'm 25 years old man and she is 24. We are grown up mature people apparently and we had experiences in our lives prior. I don't see anything wrong with us falling in love at this age. And believe me, I heard of many people got married at 20 and they are still happily together. Love don't determine age.