Group dating, how to get only his attention?

[SaraGeene]

Hello everyone

So once again I need some advice.. I've been working my way with this guy, who is a bit older than me (please see my other post if needed). I finally found myself taking more with him, and after I started talking with a new guy, who is only a really good friend, the guy I want to be with, has been a bit jealous I think. There has been some other situations than the one I describe here..

So a couple of days ago, me and my guyfriend planned to go to the movies, and he suggested that we put some more people together, and then it finally hit me. I now had a really good opportunity to ask him out! So the day before yesterday I asked him out, saying "we are some people (and he does know everyone, and they really like him) who wants to go to the movies and you should come", he then said he actually had a giftcertificate he could use, and he would think about it, but he would only know if he could go on the day. Later that night we were some coworkers who went out for a drink, and one of them teased me, that the one I was texting with was my guyfriend and he knew I had crush on him, and then the guy I like looked at me, and tried to see if he could see who I was texting. I drew my phone close to my body saying that they didn't have to know who I was texting, and they should stop teasing me with those kind of things, and then the guy I like started saying, "that if it was true, he was dissapointed, cause he actually wanted to walk me home, so we could look at the stars together".
I still don't know if he really likes me, or if I'm just a good friend. But either way, the next day, my girlfriend who is also coming to the movies with us, calls me and asked about some work, and then she asked who was going to the movies with us, and then I said my guyfriend, her and maybe the guy I like, but he hadn't given me a straight answer so I didn't know. She then asked for what time the movie started, and I then said that there was to shows, and she could ask the guy (I like) what suited him best, if he actually wanted to go..

She then calls me ten min. later saying that he wanted to go and if we could take the evening show, and asked if the 3 of us should take the train to go there.

Now here comes the point with this long story. I have finally been given a chance to go out with him, it may be a group date, but either way I know I'll have my chance tomorrow! So please, can anyone give me some tips on how to act on a group date, I imagine that it could be a bit difficult to talk with him as much as I like to, and I'm so nervous about tomorrow! He is a bit shy, and I'm a bit shy too, but not so much that I can't talk to him. I just need have some ideas, of what to do, to make him make a move, or how I could make a move... either way, I hope you guys could help me!

Thanks again

[Wakeup]

"that if it was true, he was dissapointed, cause he actually wanted to walk me home, so we could look at the stars together".

Why don't you just tell him you'd like it if he walked you home so you can "view the stars together?" He was letting you know without actually putting himself on the line that he likes you too.

[SaraGeene]

If you're right, and he is trying to let me know how he feels, I do hope he will go along with my flirting tomorrow. And if he brings something up, like the "stars" part again, then I will go along! Thank you!

[Wakeup]

If you're right, and he is trying to let me know how he feels, I do hope he will go along with my flirting tomorrow. And if he brings something up, like the "stars" part again, then I will go along! Thank you!

If he's shy then he may not even realize you are flirting. If your flirting doesn't accomplish anything, then why not ask HIM to walk you home and share the stars with you? He's already given you an opening.

Good luck, let us know how it goes

[SaraGeene]

True, you are right!

Thanks, I will be back with a (hopefully) positve story on how it went

[SaraGeene]

Hello again

So I promised to get back to you, and tell of how the group date went. And here it is, not a happy story...

I was so excited on the day, and I met up with my girlfriend before taking the train together. I decided on casualy wear, cause I didn't want to dress too much up, and I'm glad I did so. I was comfortable and full of energi!
We met up at the station and the three of us (me, my girlfriend and mr. X who I like) went to the city to meet up with my guyfriend. On the train he placed himself besides me, but he didn't look at me even once, which I found really wierd. I tried making him more comfortable by telling jokes and messing with him a bit. But no eyecontact!

We got to the city and my guyfriend came to pick us up, and here mr. X just fasten his walking up and going a bit upfront with my girlfriend, like he wanted to give some space with me and my guyfriend?!

I was dissapointed! So I walked with my guyfriend to the cinema, only 5 min walk, and as we were about to walk in, I got a phonecall from work, so I said to the others that they could go in and wait in line, and I would follow in a few secs.. As I came up to them, mr. X looked at me, and said I should go up front to my guyfriend, and stand next to him, while looking at me not even smilling or holding back a laugh.. Like he seriously though me and my guyfriend were together?!
Mr. X had these giftcertificates for two persons, and before my eyes he asked my girlfriend if she wanted him to use the second free ticket on her, and she looked briefly at me, and then accepted.
After this he clinged to her, went togther with her to buy popcorn and wanted to sit next to her, and even though I got to sit next him too, he didn't speak to me and only her..

After the movies we went for a drink, and they sat and talked together, and even though I tried to start a conversation with all of us, he then keept his focus on my girlfriend...

After that we went to have pizza, and it was the same. Then we went to the station to go home, and we said goodbye to my guyfriend and he suddenly was natural. I then tried to indirectly ask him "that maybe tonight, he wanted to watch those stars together" and he said that he didn't want to.. Boom.. back to square one!

Home in our town at the station we said goodbye, and that was it.. I have no idea why he changed so much! Was he jealous or something, I just found him annoying and not himself, I was so dissapointed when I got home..

I then decided to write to Mr. X, and asked if he had a good time. Here he became more natural and funny, and the old guy I like, so I don't know what I did wrong and why he acted the way he did...

- Sara

[pcmaster]

He seems like shy guy. Keep trying. Looks like hes cooler online than on actual date. Say him what you like about him and it will be easier to bring out the best of him and get the best from him every single time. If he dont look in your eyes then just say him to look. Its the basic thing and respect for the person you talking with. Again it only shows how inexpierienced he is making these huge mistakes.

Be patient it will take some more dates.

[SaraGeene]

Thanks! But even though he's shy, I did believe his attitude was too different than normal, and this is a guy I happen to work with. And there he never tries to "avoid" me...

My plan now is to get him out one on one dates, just to see if it's the same. I hope to God not.. I wrote to him today asking him out on a second date. He did infact wanted to go out with me, but the day I had in plan he couldn't go. And the funny thing is, he didn't ask if more people were to come. So I hope, that I can find another ocasion to take him out, or he invites me out soon, but I don't think he will.. God! Guys can be so confusing.. :/

[pcmaster]

Maybe he starts to like you and thats why hes more shy. You must have dangerous eyes ! Thats why hes avoiding to look in them. Anyway always asume asume that he likes you and it will give you courage to proceed and he will like you just because of your confidence. Because to believe that someone likes you, you have to like yourself first, cause people ussualy see mirror in others. And deep in mind he will see that you like yourself and be attracted.

And on the next date make sure you get that eye contact so he will stay present to reality and wont ignore you when you are near him. You might even tiuch him and ask how he feels to get his attention.

Anyway best of all dont think about dates and dont expect anything. Just focus on present moments and if date feels good then think how to make it even better. Till then(next date) better dont think about anything only focus on yourself and dont overanalyze.

Good Luck !

[SaraGeene]

Thank you, that was very deep, but I understand. Live day by day, and let things come as they are. I will live by that, thank you again