What do I do?

[jenny86]

Hi

Been with my bf for coming up to 6 years now and we live together. The last few months have been quite tough and have found myself feeling lonely due to him not being around a lot because of work and just confused about whether I wanted to be with him.

I have always been attracted to a guy at work and found myself talking to him more late last year and we eventually went out a few times and kissed. Christmas made me realise what I was doing couldn't continue, I think it was a crush that went too far but didn't find myself regretting it as much as I probably should have.

I do love my bf, we are best friends, have fun and laugh but I keeping wondering to myself if he is the one, I don't know how I will ever know this? Does what I did show me that this relationship won't last / he isn't the one or can this still be a long term thing after what I did?

[basilandthyme]

What you did shows you that the relationship you're in can't continue as it is - it's simply not meeting your needs.

What kind of hours does your boyfriend work? Can he change them? A relationship can't flourish and grow if you're not together often enough to nourish it.

[Lord Darkshire]

You need to communicate your needs to you BF. He is not a mind reader, he doesn't know what is going on in your head. As for the crush, maybe you are lonely because you don't have much going on in your life when your BF isn't around. If you had a more vibrant and active life, with hobbies and fun friends, you wouldn't find yourself trying to fill a void with an unhealthy flirtation.

[jenny86]

He is a mature student so is not always home. I just still don't know if he is the one, should I have realised this by now being with him for this long? What does is mean if I still don't know?

[Rowen]

So... You cheated on your boyfriend, and now you're just hoping to sweep it under the rug to make sure he never finds out.

Wonderful.

[jenny86]

I have to, it would be over if I said anything he wouldn't forgive me.

[ChocGirl923]

You need to have a talk with yourself before you even think about talking to him. You say you've been with him 6 years. Now you're lonely. Ask yourself what 6 year ago "you" wanted in your relationship, and what he offered you that made you want to be with him. Has anything changed? Is today "you" looking for something different now? People change....Loneliness can be dangerous for relationships. You deal with it...for a while. Then finally you submit to it. You were looking for what you were lacking. Is it right?...NO. But you're human. Communicate. Let your man know you're lonely. If he loves you, he'll listen and he'll do something about it. Simple as that...now telling him what happened between you and your co-worker...I'm staying out of it. Use your own discretion...lol :.)

[Rowen]

I have to, it would be over if I said anything he wouldn't forgive me.

But, by default, you obviously aren't in love with him then if you can live your entire life lying to him.

[4 ratties]

Wow u cheated on him and aren't goin to tell him. How classy. I hope he dumps your lying ass soon.