I'm back! With a story!

[Gratedwasabi]

So....the sex was bad, she had a hideous attitude, she took all your money and she bad mouthed you. And you stuck with her for this long because........?

She must've been so SO hot.

Btw, I don't know why, but every time I read your posts Grated, I get so hungry.

Well, the sex was actually reeeeally good except that she had to stop after like 5 minutes. If she could actually keep going, it was pretty amazing.

Technically she just let me spend tons of money on her, didn't really take it. And I wouldn't say she really badmouthed me (well, not to my face) just her good friends and nice people.

She was hot, but that wasn't the main thing. The main thing was she gave me huge amounts of attention. Ie.. 20+ texts a day and either seeing her or having an hour and a half phone conversation with her every day. Combined with running around getting stuff for her (gifts, clothes for the wedding, food) and I felt like I actually had a life for once. It was like skipping the awkward first 3 or 4 dates plus the next few weeks where you both really like each other but are both playing hard to get, and instead going straight to the "let's ignore our friends and have lots of sex and act like we're the only people that exist" phase. Which for my current state of loneliness was a bit like cocaine.

[Gratedwasabi]

So she sent me a Facebook message. Basically said "I was deeply disturbed by your behavior the night before and that's why I broke up with you. I just glanced through your messages out of curiosity."

Which is.. wtf? The night before I had been a bit drunk and rambled, but that was about it. I had told her I was frustrated when she got sore and stopped sex midway through, but even then I said I was just physically frustrated and not upset with her at all. I also rambled on about how I hadn't had anything to eat all day an d that's why I was a bit drunk, and apologized, and how alcohol made me less inhibited/more emotional. I mean. Wtf? And during that she had basically called me two-faced and said I had a "dark side."

Did she just make up this other side to me that she thinks is there or is getting a little drunk and apologizing for it "deeply disturbing" behavior?

And damn, why do I miss her so much? I can't stop thinking about her.

[VincenzoG91]

Unfriend the bitch. Otherwise, she is going to start badmouthing you on Facebook in front of all your friends, and probably lying some more.

[preggers]

Sounds like a bitch to me. If you gave her oral sex and she couldn't even finish you off with a hand job or by returning the favor orally after getting sore she's not worth it. You shouldn't try to change someone who is so obviously selfish so just move on and find someone who is as willing to please as you are. There's someone out there who's a better fit for you.

[sunnypatches]

You know what? Don't do so much for women, even if they're nice. Set some boundaries for yourself or something. Of course be the decent guy that you are, but pull it back some. Certain women (emotionally immature women) will walk all over a man if they can. Set a bitch threshold. If the girl can make it passed a certain point as defined by you without some manner of bitchness setting in, then you can open up a little more; maybe buy her a candy bar or somethin. Red flags are helpful too, and this chick sounds like a huge red flag factory (I'm going to assume she was hott and that's why she had so many chances). Kudos for being settled on calling it off though. You seem like you couldn't honestly give up on relationships, and I mean that as a compliment. Maybe see if something in your subconscious programming is causing you to attract women who aren't ready for what you have to offer. Or try and pinpoint why you're attracted to them. Maybe they're omens

[vertical_sky]

Great to have you back! Hurray!

Also, yes, agree with sunnypatches, red flags all over the darn place. Here's my rule: spend as much money on them as they spend on you. If a girl pouts because you won't buy her dinner/movie tickets/what have you, very very carefully weight that behavior against her good qualities. Once you see that she can be trusted to pull her own weight, THEN you can be the Super Gentleman and lavish a bit on her. (The guy I had been dating would spontaneously paid for our dates even when I objected. He was a total jerk in lots of other ways but in that way he really won me over. He both respected my autonomy to pay for my own stuff, valued financial equality, AND treated me like a lady.)

Hope the next girl is worth it, cause you sound like a really awesome guy. Good luck!

[Gratedwasabi]

You know what? Don't do so much for women, even if they're nice. Set some boundaries for yourself or something. Of course be the decent guy that you are, but pull it back some. Certain women (emotionally immature women) will walk all over a man if they can. Set a bitch threshold. If the girl can make it passed a certain point as defined by you without some manner of bitchness setting in, then you can open up a little more; maybe buy her a candy bar or somethin. Red flags are helpful too, and this chick sounds like a huge red flag factory (I'm going to assume she was hott and that's why she had so many chances). Kudos for being settled on calling it off though. You seem like you couldn't honestly give up on relationships, and I mean that as a compliment. Maybe see if something in your subconscious programming is causing you to attract women who aren't ready for what you have to offer. Or try and pinpoint why you're attracted to them. Maybe they're omens

I definitely agree. This is something I talked to a friend about after this all went down.

One problem is I get too sexually involved with women too early. I will go to great lengths to nail down a consistent source of decent sex (although she was borderline, I had hopes she'd get better) because it's a bit of an addiction for me. And frankly, I'm attracted to almost any girl that likes my humor, seems to be into me, gives me attention and isn't blatantly a bad person (again, this girl was skirting the line to begin with and had delved there pretty hardcore at points.)

I also guess part of it might be self-esteem issues and feeling like I need to do all this stuff for women to like me. I mean, I love doing random things for women (buying flowers, cooking meals, etc..) but I definitely agree I need to make women chase me a bit at the beginning and once I'm really feeling good about it I can start lavishing them. Very, very good advice.

And don't worry, she's not a friend on my Facebook.. she just sent me a message/email on there excusing her betrayal of my trust and invasion of my privacy as "meh, I just glanced cuz I didn't like how you acted the night before."

Thanks for all the feedback.