Is it time to end it?

[Gratedwasabi]

I don't know it was an excellent looking penis... Perhaps it was yours?

Unlikely, I only take photos of mine from the right.

The masturbation thing I wouldn't worry about but if she accidentally downloaded a penis photo.. WHY wouldn't she delete it? If I accidentally deleted some vag photo I'd immediately delete it.. unless I wanted to have it. Plus she lied about it and as far as you know just lied about it again.

Tell her you want a way to contact the guy and if he confirms her story, you're good. Make her give it to you right then or there. If it's just some random dude she hasn't talked to in a while, why would she care? And if she won't go for it, and you explain how she'd feel if she found a vag photo on your computer, then I think you need to not trust her and move on.

[Wakeup]

Regardless if you find my post rude or not.. i will apologize for the way you chose to reacted to it. It's not nice when one is taken aback by the insight of one they don't even know so, I'm sorry you had that reaction. I am not sorry for what I see though. You do not trust this woman. You asked her if she did anything bad while she was out of your site in Ireland... You still have unprocessed baggage from the prostitute you had to untangle yourself from, you snooped so deeply you actually went into the bowels of the computer to find out where the penis originated from instead of just saying to her WTF is this and why is it on your computer. You are insecure and some what intimidating and you have trust issues you have to overcome and at the time of my post, you did not say much that was good about this young girl however; you say you'll endure anyway because if you don't you'll be lonely. You work 60 hours a week.

My advice: Your only 24.. get that trust thing fixed, and if you really can't trust her and her lies then have the ballz to leave and not just stick around and torment her with your interogations/snooping/ because you're afraid to be alone. Frankly, if you're working 60 hour weeks, I have a feeling she's feeling pretty alone within the relationship.

Whether you have reason to not trust her or not, you're punishing her for the sins of your last girlfriend and that's not fair to her. You have no proof or red flag behaviour. Masturbating is not red flag behaviour and she had explanation for the penis.

Good luck no matter what you decide to do with her..

[MerryH]

Unlikely, I only take photos of mine from the right.

You lie. I've seen that GW_from_the_left_side.pdf that's been floating around.

Tell her you want a way to contact the guy and if he confirms her story, you're good. Make her give it to you right then or there. If it's just some random dude she hasn't talked to in a while, why would she care? And if she won't go for it, and you explain how she'd feel if she found a vag photo on your computer, then I think you need to not trust her and move on.

No way, man. This is so unnecessary and invasive. OP, no need to shame your girlfriend. Don't embarrass her in front of others because you won't trust her explanation. Small white lies and a dick pic from the internet don't seem like great reasons to not trust her. The white lies might be because she's not comfortable telling you the truth for whatever reason. Maybe she's a little scared of how you'll react. Whether she's learned that from past experiences with you or she's just a spineless liar, I don't know. Have you ever reacted badly to little things?

And you say you don't trust her because of the picture you found, but you didn't really trust her before, when she was away, right? That you had to even ask if anything had "happened" struck me as a weird thing to ask your significant other, and sort of indicates that there's no trust.

Anyway, you need to trust her fully. If you can't, then you should end it.

[Gratedwasabi]

No way, man. This is so unnecessary and invasive. OP, no need to shame your girlfriend. Don't embarrass her in front of others because you won't trust her explanation. Small white lies and a dick pic from the internet don't seem like great reasons to not trust her. The white lies might be because she's not comfortable telling you the truth for whatever reason. Maybe she's a little scared of how you'll react. Whether she's learned that from past experiences with you or she's just a spineless liar, I don't know. Have you ever reacted badly to little things?

How is that shaming her? If it's some guy that she never talks to and isn't even a friend, over the INTERNET, I'd hardly consider that shaming. And finding a dick pic on your girlfriend's computer and her then LYING about it is a pretty big deal. You're honestly going to tell me if you found a naked photo of a real woman that your husband talked to on his computer and then he clearly lied about it, you wouldn't flip?

Now, is my option what I'd do? No. I'd dump her. If someone sent her a dick photo and she accidentally opened it and didn't delete it, then she's too stupid for me to want to date her and the alternative is she was cheating. But if he's trying to work it out, and it sounds like he is, he needs to figure out a way to trust her. I assure you he won't suddenly trust her out of the blue, he needs some kind of closure about why she had the photo. Maybe not even IM the dude, just see how she reacts. If she gives you the screenname, just tear it up. If she breaks down and tells you the truth, there ya go.

Also, yes, that was a lie; I have photos of my penis from all angles.... God only knows who has seen a photo of it.

[MerryH]

How is that shaming her?

Wouldn't you be mortified if your girlfriend demanded someone's contact info so she could bother them about your relationship problems? It just seems so controlling and wrong. You would not need to do this if you trust your partner.

And finding a dick pic on your girlfriend's computer and her then LYING about it is a pretty big deal. You're honestly going to tell me if you found a naked photo of a real woman that your husband talked to on his computer and then he clearly lied about it, you wouldn't flip?

Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed but I think I could easily forgive it. If he were to lie to me and then immediately say, "Sorry, I don't know why I lied. Here's the truth. Someone sent me a link and I clicked it" then I'd be pissed that he lied, but I would ultimately believe his story. I trust him. And I don't care if he looks at internet boobies.

Also, yes, that was a lie; I have photos of my penis from all angles....

I forgive you.

[Gratedwasabi]

Wouldn't you be mortified if your girlfriend demanded someone's contact info so she could bother them about your relationship problems? It just seems so controlling and wrong. You would not need to do this if you trust your partner.

No, I agree. But he doesn't trust her and doesn't seem to want to end it. It would either end it or give him closure on the issue, that's for sure. I'm also not entirely sure I would count a skype username as someone's contact info.. that's like saying someone's name being contact info (Facebook, myspace, etc.. all you need is the name for it.) I do see your point and agree, might not be the best idea I ever had. Just think he's going to keep torturing himself with it.

Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed but I think I could easily forgive it. If he were to lie to me and then immediately say, "Sorry, I don't know why I lied. Here's the truth. Someone sent me a link and I clicked it" then I'd be pissed that he lied, but I would ultimately believe his story. I trust him. And I don't care if he looks at internet boobies.

But the story doesn't make sense. He would have had to click the link, accepted the download, which would have popped up when it finished... and then kept it. That's my thing with it. It sounds like she was telling a lie and a better one popped into her head. Just my 2 cents.

[MerryH]

But the story doesn't make sense. He would have had to click the link, accepted the download, which would have popped up when it finished... and then kept it.

I don't know, that makes sense to me. Even if he knowingly downloaded some boobs, I wouldn't have an issue with it. I'm not threatened by some internet stranger. Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you're saying.

My point is that little white lies and a photo wouldn't completely break my trust in him.