Is he over his ex?

[totalconfusion]

Absolutely not! I'm VERY, painfully aware that he's the one who's off his rocker on this topic. That's the thing, in the beginning I went about it ALL wrong and expected him to, yes, drop her like a dead, smelly fish. I came in guns blazing and that was a crap move on my part. I should've been smart about it and first assessed the situation instead of making myself out to be an insecure, jealous, possessive you-know-what. Unfortunate as it is, that's what's happened and 9 months later I'm doing damage control. She's not the one who wasn't ok with me going, he was. He said I'd been so hot and cold, on and off, and that he was sure I'd break up with him if he told me he was going...so he kept it under wraps for as long as he could. Still does NOT excuse him from not then inviting me after I had made it clear I was willing to be friendly with her. I explained to him that SHE was not the problem. That I had nothing against HER. That it was him and the way he went about things. And his overly close relationship with her. Ahhhhhh. I just don't know where to go from here! I do agree with you but I think I have more of a hold on him at this point and, if I play my cards right, I can take control of the situation gracefully. He has already promised nothing like this will happen again.

[totalconfusion]

I couldn't agree more. I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens in the weeks after his return. I've never been in such a vulnerable position with a man before and it's honestly quite frightening. I've never considered myself, or to my knowledge have been considered by others, to be a pushover. Yet, here I am.

[totalconfusion]

I have met her and I know her boyfriend through other mutual friends. In fact, I've met him in the past before she even dated him. They are definitely together...he is with her on the trip, too. Although I appreciate your honesty, calling me a moron was a bit over the top.

[smackie9]

You have no right to tell him who he can or can't be friends with and what he can or can't do.

Similarly, he has no business telling you what you should or shouldn't be comfortable with.

It just sounds like you two don't see eye to eye. I don't see any way around a breakup unless one of you has a massive change of heart.

I totally agree with this. 9 months and he hasn't changed his mind nor will he. It is what it is. This is his life and if he chooses not change, that IS HIS CHOICE. You knew going into this relationship this is the way it is.....not sure why people seem to think they can change someone....you shouldn't have to. You see what you get, you don't like it, don't take it.