HUH? wtf???

**chelsee** · 10-12-05, 10:53 AM

ok, i really didn't know where to post this but anyways the other day i got into a really bad agrument with my bf. we were out with some mutual friends and i made up a excuse so that i could leave early. my bf and i got in his truck and he started yelling at me about lying. we were driving down the highway and i was getting preety scared because he never yelled at me before. so i shut up so he would stop yelling at me and he got even more angry. he then started yelling at me for not answer him when i was spoken to and said i was a rude *****. it freaked me out cause it came out of nowhere and i really didn't start much of a lie. i told my friends what had happened later and they told me he's looking for a excuse to break up with me. wtf?

**Late_vamp** · 10-12-05, 01:22 PM

arrggh , i hate it when women do this ... just answer his questions and pay attention , dont lie , lying is bad , BAD Chelsee ..!

dont listen to your friends to much , its because he cares about you that hes upset , if he wanted to brake up , he could have done it a while ago

**whaywardj** · 10-12-05, 01:29 PM

If it was a lie of convenience to make an excuse for leaving OTHER than telling your friends the real reason was you were having an argument, I don't see the big deal. I'm more interested in why you'd be going out with the dispute still bubbling under the surface, and why it's bubbling at all in the first place. Unless I misunderstand your post. Lying is neither bad or good. It just leads to complications I'd rather do without.

**chelsee** · 10-12-05, 02:37 PM

well i guess that was my intial question, i really didn't feel that i did anything that bad by lying but now he questions how much i really do lie. so i guess it's a big deal to a guy.

**gingerbabe86** · 10-12-05, 02:50 PM

i just think he's making a big deal out of it all... i mean u just wanted to leave early and just don't wanna seem like u'r not enjoying u'rself with them.. i would have done the same thing too.. but one thing i know guys hate for sure is when they ask u something and u don't answer/reply or say anything.. they get really pissed off about it. however i think u'r friends have the wrong idea about him trying to break up with u.. maybe he wasn't having a good day or something... i think things will calm down a little and be alright again.. chat with him and see wats going on

**missguided.rose** · 10-12-05, 05:17 PM

"Much of a lie" so either it was a lie, or it wasn't.

Moral of the story: Don't lie.

**Hugo Pickle** · 10-12-05, 06:20 PM

Hmm, I think his friends might be right. People don’t blow up on little things like that unless there is something else eating at them and they just won’t say what it is. Being an ass to break up with someone is more common than many people think. I know a lot of guys that do that, even I’ve done this in my younger years, and hell I know girls who have do that too. It’s like it is easier to make someone not want you anymore than it is to have this big emotional, drawn-out break up. I did this a few times because I just knew that if I didn’t then the girl I was with would just try to change and constantly try to convince me to give it a shot and help her to be what I want her to be and all that. It doesn’t work, when someone doesn’t want the other one but the other one still wants the one then it sucks for both until they both end up hating each other anyway. I used to think that if I was just an ass then it would be easier on everyone.

But that’s not the truth, the truth is that to break up always sucks and I now find it best to be totally honest and take time to write down all the things you don’t like and say, “look, here is the list of things that I don’t like about you and I don’t want to continue being with you anymore.”

But you don’t know maybe he is a secret psycho and you don’t know it yet. Maybe he just has a hang up on lying and you set it off. Maybe everyone in the room knew about your lie from the get go and made him look like an ass by forcing him to go along with your obvious lie.

What did he actually say to you?

**whaywardj** · 10-12-05, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by chelsee

...so i guess it's a big deal to a guy.

Meh. Yes and no. Still don't know what lie you're talking about but, if it was one of those social convenience lies, no big deal to many; THIS guy excluded.

But since duplicity is a commonly accepted method for females to cope in a male dominated society (whereas, force is commonly accepted for males), I think guys, in general, DO tend to be little overly-sensitive to deception in any form.

The more important question, I believe, is why he might be so in YOUR direction. Given him any reasons, lately, to doubt your sincerity?

**chelsee** · 10-12-05, 11:49 PM

well i definately learned something. i think it was more the fact that i lied to mutual friends. in his opinion friends don't lie to friends about anything. he didn't think i was being a good friend.

**whaywardj** · 11-12-05, 12:09 AM

I think that would depend on how just much you wanted mutual friends privy to your relationship issues. Still don't know what the lie was. But, if it was one told in order to avoid dragging them into your relationship issues right then, then I'd just let it go and, in the future, avoid circumstances where I might be put in that position again.

**chelsee** · 11-12-05, 12:19 AM

i just basically didn't feel like hanging out with our friends anymore i was tired and i wanted to go home. they kept insisiting that we stay out longer and i really didn't like where we were so i told them that my bf and i had other places we had to be.
at the time i didn't mean any harm just couldn't stand it where i was.

**Late_vamp** · 11-12-05, 02:09 AM

i suggest to wisper to him that you would like to leave because your tired ... and you cant stand it for now ... but lying just makes more crap in a relationship ...

just do that next time ... it wont turn out as bad as it did

**whaywardj** · 11-12-05, 03:19 AM

Originally Posted by chelsee

i just basically didn't feel like hanging out with our friends anymore i was tired and i wanted to go home. they kept insisiting that we stay out longer and i really didn't like where we were so i told them that my bf and i had other places we had to be.
at the time i didn't mean any harm just couldn't stand it where i was.

Hm. Wonder what might've been wrong with, "I'm not comfortable in this place and am tired of being out anyway. Excuse me. But I would really like to go home"?

But as far as his going off a deep end as you describe over something as inconsequential as that, I'd have to agree with one or two of the other posters: something else also appears to be up. Might wanna find out what it is.

**ReneeA** · 12-12-05, 06:53 AM

I don't see the big deal. Yah, you lied. So what. We all do. You could've been honest but you weren't. He's your boyfriend and I'd hope that he'd understand your reasons. But I really think based on his reaction that there may be some issues that you two have to deal with. Have you ever hurt him by lying before? If you have, then maybe it angers him when you lie no matter who you're lying to...

**chelsee** · 12-12-05, 07:15 AM

he thinks that i lie to him but really i don't. he has major trust issues.

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