Help me to can help him!!!!

**the3wheel** · 26-09-06, 12:43 AM

Hello, hello ,

Honest i don;t know how to start this topic

and i know maybe my boyfriend will be angry making public all of this ( i am sorry babe

) but i realy don't know who to help him ...he is confused ...he is very deep hurt ...

We was meet when we was need most ...i was coming after a very painful realtionship ,i was love that person very very very much and i was give all to that realtionship including my pride and the respect for myself .... and he was coming after one nice relationship who was 5 years but his ex was hurt him very very very deep ...She was left him whit 5 days until them weding and in the same day whit his birthday ...he can not forgot in his front she was cancel all ...the birthday cake..the party..the weeding ...ALL.
I think when we was meet..... we was just want to forget about our past ...to find something like a drogs for ur pains ...but we was mistake ....all was beautiful

...after all we pass on the past ...we was agree to take all slow "step by step"...form my part is pur love ..i love him very much and i give including my life to see him happy ...few days ago he said he need space to think about what he want ..but the problem is he want me ( he don;t want me away from him), he love me but he can not make a step in the front until is not finish whit his past ..i understand that and i was prospose him even to fly to his ex or go one week away to be alone and think what he want ...how i can help him to pass from this confusses time??? but i feel to stay away from him is not help him at all ..because he is more and more depress and think bad thinks about himself ..i know he don't want to be hurt again, he is scared now because he was realise he have true feeling

I wanna help ..i wanna understand him ..i wanna think all was happend betwin us was more then a adventure or just pur passion ....maybe i am naive but i feel all is more then one passion and for that i wanna fight and soo i can for ur love and happyness!

**vashti** · 26-09-06, 12:48 AM

I think he is recognizing that he may have jumped into a rebound relationship. You were both needy at the same time, and naturally reached out for one another to find comfort, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you were truly meant for each other.

If he is asking for time to himself, I think you ought to give it to him, and he may or may not be back. I think you ought to try slowing down in your own head. This relationship is not as beautiful as you imagine, and I think you rushed things.

I am sorry to say that.

**the3wheel** · 26-09-06, 02:43 AM

first of all i wanna thank u for ur reply ..and u must not feel sorry for telling the real facts ...i was post this because i wanna know how is seeing from outside from people who can not take my side or his ...i agree whit u maybe that beautiful realtionship was only in my mind even he was said is the most beautiful think was hapend to him....but who knows???...yes, maybe i am very sentimental because i was put all my heart ,my body and my soul to this realtionship and the fact he was make me soooo confused too in one time when HE was the last person i was espected to kick my ass is make me to fight for a realtionship who maybe was just one ilusion and i must admit i was lost the most wonderful man in my life ....I was wanted to said i am not rush thinks but i was thinking and thinking ....yes maybe that i do ..i rush thinks and i hang on in one relationship who was just a beautiful summer dream ...
I don;t know maybe i am hurt and i am feeling very confused because HE want space ,time but in the same time he want to talk daily and date ...and that is make me soooo ...i don;t know ...Someone was said i must lisend the sound of my heart ...and that sound of my heart is said i must do something to suport him and be next to him but also the sound of my brain said ...is over .
I understand why he is afraid for a next step in our relationship..i am from a poor country ,i am 3 personsm, him 2 persons... i stay apart from him(not in my country) whit visa but from 2007 all will be more easy for me including permit to work ..and is normal to feel scared about the future but i was never said we must go to the other step ..i was always said we will do it when he will feel i love him from what he is not for some advantages ...because i am sure a lot of people will think is "she want him only for that "..i want him for his beautiful soul ,for his big heart ,for his humor ,for what HE MEEN TO ME ....just one example i will give u ..we was to a shoping center last friday and he was wanted to buy me thinks i realy need ..i was not wanted because i was feel like i used him .
I was ask him if he want to go back to his ex ..but he don;t want ..he want to stay alone and lick his bleeding woonds ...and honest i don;t think in the emotional condition he show me now ..if he can do that ...he need suport and help ..he need someone how can talk whit to can let all the pain away ..
I don;t know i am very confused ...tonight i will put him to read all of this and maybe he can tell u what is in his heart ...maybe he will free his heart ...because i don;t realy know how i can help ....at leats like a friend, if not like a grilfriend ...because he is young and sooner or latter he will need someone in his life ( if is me or another is not counting) and he can not hurt himself over and over again ...
I am sorry if i was not so clear but like i said i am very very confused ...

**vashti** · 26-09-06, 02:52 AM

"Someone was said i must lisend the sound of my heart ...and that sound of my heart is said i must do something to suport him and be next to him but also the sound of my brain said ...is over ."

I think you should ignore the advice of someone who tells you to listen to heart when your head is telling you something different. The heart will double-cross you.

**Gigabitch** · 26-09-06, 02:53 AM

Don't push him- he's in a bad emotional state right now. The fact is, you want to support him, but he doesn't want your support. Maybe he wants to see if he's even capable of standing on his own.

You need to keep yourself busy. Just waiting for him to come back is not attractive. If he wants to talk daily, great. let him see you getting on with your life and still offering your sweetness. Maybe he'll come back.

**the3wheel** · 05-10-06, 01:15 PM

Hello again my firends,

I am sorry i was not write lately but i was not in a mood for anything

...since last time i was write ...... WE was meet one time and we was spend 2 days together , all was again great but when i was prepare to go he started again to be sad and emotional

...i think i was understand what is going on ( if he is honest and sincer ) ...he still don;t understand why Her was dump him like this(special on his birthday) and why he can not pass on that ...i understand him ..is not easy to true away 5 years of realtionship when u love whit all ur heart ( i can not true away 2 mounths of relationship)...and then i was also make him scared because like i tell i am 3 persons and he is afraid being toghater he will go more and more in debts ( is not me to make advatage from someone and i always i was working and do all for my kids ...but he think like this)...he was said he love me very much and for me he was said he need space because is not fair to have him whit his past...agian he was said he is apreciated very much the fact i am next to him ..understanding ,suprot him,love him ...
What can i said ??? I was give his space ...he said he will go in Italy whit one coworker for a week in holiday ..he was leaving monday and he will comeback next monday ...i was push him to go there to relax and be away from all because he was said he is not in a mood for that ...he even give me one sms from the airport telling he love me, miss me and he idon't know when we talk because he forgot the recharger from his gsm home (he always trus his gsm or other phone when he want his privacy)

**the3wheel** · 12-10-06, 08:44 AM

hello

is me again ..i think this is the best way to open my soul and talk about my problems ...i don;t have much goood friends so i open in front of u people maybe i will never meet or never talk ....

He was comeback from his trip and since then se seems very distant...he still tell me ..".i love ...i was miss u ..i was thinking at u" he said he bring me something like a pouve he was thinking at me ....but our conversation are more and more ..i don;t know ...friendship i think is the best word i can find for what we share now....
I was do something and i am not proud of ...because i was lie to find the true ..and i hate that ..i was not honest ..and i am sorry but i can not live in lies ...
I was contact him on one fake name to see if he is dating online or just go there maybe to read his e-mail or something ..( i must give him his not gulty till i have the prouve)
Tonight he was said "ohh babe i am tierd i go to bed" ..ok go .....but after 20 min the fake me i recive one e-mail" And now im single.Im looking for ................."..and is not the only lie he was said in the last 48 hours ..ok i understand he want space to lick his soul after HER but why he is still looking ???? why he said i love u and then go and talk whit someone else and maybe said i love u and to that woman ??? I was said that many time to him ..is ok for me if u go ..but i wanna know ...i am always next to him when he need me , when he cry ,when he is upsate ..when he need someone ...ok maybe our relationship is not soooo beautiful for him like it is for me ...but he can said ...look i want my space because i wanna find a better woman then u ..and u are only my friend nothing more ....i am sooooooooooo fustrated because sometimes i have the feeling all will be ok ...and then next day i have the feeling i am just a pupet and he can play whit me like he want

...I was thinking to end up but i just can;t ..i am soooo in love whit him and i just can not let him go .....is not me ..i don;t reconize my self i was tell him ..i wanna make u happy even ur happynes is not next to me ....but seems like i was lie to my self ....or maybe i become one of that womans who when they get a man they hang on it till they die ..if they are happy or not ...is soooooooooo hard to be confused ...i know what i want ....and 85% is what he want... what he said he want ..but only God know... now in this moment is feel like he can not said is over because he knows he will hurt me more then my ex and maybe he don;t want to be the asshole ....or maybe he meen all and the online ladys are only for prove himself is a better men ...maybe he is scared to get a realtionship ..or just maybe he get back whit HER and he don;t have power to tell me ( we live in Europe and she in USA)........ ...i don;t know ....i realy don;t know and if i open the discusiion whit him i am afraid i will lose all because i have some doubs...i am soooooooo stupid ..i am thinking the love is for anybody even for someone like me .....

I am sorry i write sooooooo much and i only complain but i think only here maybe is someone who can understand my broken heart ...because even me i don;t understand my self .....i was sooo broke after my last relationship and i was said i will never get in love ...and what i did ..i was fall in love again ..and again i am hurt ..more deep and more badly then ever ....i wish to know how i can repair my broken heart and i hope i will never love again so i can never be hurt again ...i have toooo my much problems in my life and i can not afford to can fix over and over again my broken heart because i am a stupid woman who get in love ///

**Mathias** · 12-10-06, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by the3wheel

Hello again my firends,

I am sorry i was not write lately but i was not in a mood for anything

...since last time i was write ...... WE was meet one time and we was spend 2 days together , all was again great but when i was prepare to go he started again to be sad and emotional

...i think i was understand what is going on ( if he is honest and sincer ) ...he still don;t understand why Her was dump him like this(special on his birthday)

Hooooold on.

This is eerie.

Who are you?

**the3wheel** · 12-10-06, 10:31 AM

Hooooold on.

This is eerie.

Who are you?

who is eerie

? I am ME and this is a part of my life and i don't know any eerie

maybe u can be more specific please ...maybe my boyfriend ( i think i can call him like that ) he is writeing here and i don't know..i was show him this topic and he was not said nothing....or maybe is something diffrent .....if u explain more better what u was wanted to said maybe i undersatand what is going on ....honest ur reply was make me speckless

**the3wheel** · 12-10-06, 11:36 AM

hmmm ja.....i was thinking at ur post and i was not find any member in Love Forum whit the nick name eerie...so i think u was mean the word eerie like... D

definitions of eerie on the Web:

suggestive of the supernatural; mysterious; "an eerie feeling of deja vu"

i am sorry i am new on this forum and english is not my mother languge so i think i need to learn new words

i was looking at ur profile and i was see u have 24 .. the man i am talking about have 41 and he is from europe....if u think is eerie maybe u can tell me also why u think so ???? is true i was post also a part on today's reply to Ask man or something like this ...something about datining online someone was open one topic there and i was see u was also write something like " i am a male and i don;t understand my psyhic " or something like this .....in my country we said whit ur reply "u put me in the fog" because i don;t know what u was meen whit ur reply

and now i try to find explication from anything

**Junket** · 12-10-06, 11:39 AM

This is just amusing.

**Mathias** · 12-10-06, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by the3wheel

who is eerie

? I am ME and this is a part of my life and i don't know any eerie

maybe u can be more specific please ...maybe my boyfriend ( i think i can call him like that ) he is writeing here and i don't know..i was show him this topic and he was not said nothing....or maybe is something diffrent .....if u explain more better what u was wanted to said maybe i undersatand what is going on ....honest ur reply was make me speckless

Nah.

It was just weird. I got broken up with on my birthday recently too. That part caught my attention in a very weird way.

I have no love interest. At least, I hope she's not taking it that way.

**vashti** · 12-10-06, 10:52 PM

3wheel - I think you should attempt to keep your posts as short as possible if you want feedback.

Anyway, if you are 24 and he is 41, he is too old for you. Go get yourself a younger man. There are plenty of good ones on this forum in your age range.

**Mathias** · 12-10-06, 11:03 PM

Originally Posted by vashti

3wheel - I think you should attempt to keep your posts as short as possible if you want feedback.

Anyway, if you are 24 and he is 41, he is too old for you. Go get yourself a younger man. There are plenty of good ones on this forum in your age range.

Hi!

**Gigabitch** · 13-10-06, 01:32 AM

This is sounding worse and worse. This is a really bad situation for you, and I find it a bit disturbing that you're not protecting yourself better. I think you're going to get more and more hurt by what happens with this, it's never going to improve.

You should get away from him. You're in a downward spiral.

Thread: Help me to can help him!!!!

Thread Tools

Help me to can help him!!!!

Posting Permissions