question about the past

[anachronistic]

When you had a relationship in the past, that person calls you up a few weeks after, and they admit that they were talking smack about you (examples: "he/she is annoying", "he/she always asks me out", "he/she won't leave me alone")

and it really hurts your feelings


And they want you to forgive them, and they call their friend who was one of the people they were talking smack to, and have you listen to them apologize to the friend for lying and that they were going out with you (but just for a little bit, even though you were going out for 2 years)

How would you feel?
Would you forgive them?
Would it be easy to trust them?
Would you want to be their friend?

What would you do?

[DarkDwarf]

I can relate... Actually the last relationship

1. I'd be pissed, and I was very, very pissed and heartbroken...
2. I didn't ever get the chance to, but I probably should of. I do regret that sometimes, but other times it still pisses me off that she did that...
3. No, not really. I still can't, and we are still sorta good friends. (After a period of silence, we became friends again, when I should have permanently BACAMO'd)
4. I am, I guess we all sorta start going back towards the person we last loved, and continue in that direction till we find someone new...

5. I dunno. I told you what I did, I BACAMO'd when she wanted to get back together, and I probably should have gotten back together with her...

[clynn]

Did this happen with you and your ex lilwing?

This experience hasn't happened with me, as far as I know, so I can't exactly say.

However,............

How would you feel??

You can only feel how you feel. You can control how you behave, but not how you feel. Trust your own feelings and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, whether it is gratitute, betrayal or hurt, or whatever.

Would you forgive them?

Forgiveness is a gift that you give to yourself. A vindictive mind-set creates bitterness. Hanging on to negative emotions isn't good for you. It doesn't mean that you'll forget. But you don't have to remain angry forever. Because being angry, while it is necessary sometimes, is not a good feeling to be holding onto.

Would it be easy to trust them?

Probably not. Can be very difficult to trust once you've been betrayed. Though it is good to be open and loving as a person, you should treat yourself with respect and protect your heart.

Would you want to be their friend??

Well, you either will feel like you want to, or not. Either way, I'd say give it time. What do you mean by friendship? Being pleasant with each other when you see each other? Not wishing bad things for the other person? If you mean going out and hanging out and sharing secrets.......I'm guessing that would be harder to do.

What would you do?

It only matters what YOU would do. Follow your heart, and protect it also. Treat yourself and others with respect and honesty. And hold others to those same high standards.

[SONOIL]

How would you feel?
Would you forgive them?
Would it be easy to trust them?
Would you want to be their friend?

What would you do?

1. I felt devastated, like someone's pouring salt on freshly teared wound. Everytime i come accross any little piece of memory of her, it hurts me.

2. I would, i believe in second chance and I'm forgiving person, but she never admited any wrongdoing and blaimed me for all her mistakes and that she cheated on me!. (To really forgive a person, you have to trully love them!)

3. Would it be easy to trust them after the trustt hem? Hm... Well if they prove that they sincere in their apologies and not only telling it but showing it too... But that takes time and work!

4. Absolutely not, i never stay friends with my exs and alltogether there's no such thing as friendship between genders!

5. Well, it has been 9 months almost and i'm still single... I don't really looking for any rebounds, I want strong serious relationship, So i would just sit down and wait until I meet the right person. Simple as that. After all efforts i've made in my past relationship i don't think it's my job anymore to try something. It will be as it was meant to be!

[Gigabitch]

I don't think I would trust anyone who talked a bunch of shit behind my back, and having it be an SO would make it doubly painful.

Lil'wing, this girl can never make up for all of the wrong she's done. She should just treat you with respect and let you get on with your life.

Unfortunately, she's a drama queen, so you have to HELP her let you go. Somebody has to be the bigger person, here, and it's for damn sure not going to be her, so I think you should tell her you forgive her, treat her with cordial friendliness, but shut your heart to her. If she can't hurt you any more, it will be much easier to just watch her antics with detached amusement.

[vashti]

I think you are obligated to accept a genuine apology. This doesn't mean you have to be her best friend.

[The Great OV!!!]

Meh, less of a big deal to me. I talk shit about all my friends all the time...but then again I talk shit that I would say to their face anyways...so I don't know if it is the same thing. Having someone listen in on the apology is a pretty crazy idea and shows that they really are sorry IMO