yay or nay?

[spamboy67]

i think there is a difference between falling in love with someone and growing in love with someone. for instance, my current girlfriend, who i cant imagine life without, i grew in love with. before i met her, however, i had fallen head over heels for another woman. of course the feelings still exist for the woman i fell in love with, but i dont know what i would do without my girlfriend. your thoughts? is there a difference? is it acceptable to settle for a grown love when your fallen-for or "true" love is just out of arms reach?


homestar has my poot slap cd

[sfalexi]

I can see how you're differentiating them, but I think they are both one and the same. I think you're just using the wrong words. You're confusing infatuation with "falling" in love. You saw this girl, you were instantly attracted to her, but maybe you never got to know her. So you're "infatuated" with her. But how can you love something you know nothing about?

As for growing in love, I believe it's the same as 'falling' in love. You get to know a person. You know them better, and better, and better. The change in your feelings can be quick, or gradual, but eventually you realize, "wow. This person is amazing and I love spending my time with her." Then it shortens to "Wow. This person is amazing. And I love . . . her."

That's my take on the subject.

Alexi

[KenThePartyMan]

There are many ways to look at this and no one but you can define what is going on. I find that people are with a person so long that they "can't live without them." At the same time you see this other woman as "The One." The grass is always greener my friend but if you pursue this other woman you will find out she has just as many problems in her life as the one your with now.

As for the situation your in now, to question is human and if you feel you love the person but are not "In Love" then you might want to evaluate the relationship. Find out if you love her because you both just know everything about each other or if she is the one you want to be with for the rest of your life. Just because you love a person does not mean its right.

But, who am I to say anything....

[mostly blushing]

I agree with Alexi

[IceQueen]

I guess I agree with what you are saying, moo-cow. But for me it's simpler -- you can't *love* a person until you *know* them.

The "falling in love" you're describing is infatuation, and I don't even consider it love.

[LightOn]

This is what I do. I ask myself, If they gave me everything, and I mean everything that I would want from them. Such as knowing everything about them and giving me all Affection, Attention, respect, Trust, any material things, and most importantly knowing all this. Would they still intrigue me? Or "make me tick" Thats how I would determine superficial attraction from the real deal.

Wether you believe in love or not, you have to believe in long term compatability. When you're not 100% sure what love is go with what you know.