...Never in a million years...

[ledhead]

Never in a million years did I imagine something like this would happen. I have been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now. Things have been pretty good for the most part, however we have had "agree to disagree" on several issues. I was probably going to marry her when I finish school, but something has come up recently. She has been diagnosed with a degenerative neurological disorder. As of now, it's not that bad but it will get worse. This affects every aspect of our lives and I'm not sure if this is something I can continue to deal with. I feel like a horrible person for even thinking of leaving her, but I also feel I'm too young (23) to have to take care of someone all the time. I'm about to graduate from college and start my life, I should be excited about living, but because of this I'm just depressed all the time. I don't know what to do and this really tearing me up.

[Gigabitch]

If you were married, you'd have to stick it out, but you aren't.

[Mish]

Look into your heart, there you'll find the answer

[Darkest Heaven]

If you stay, you are ****ed. (Your depression)
If you leave, she is ****ed. (Spirit crushed, etc etc)


If it's love, you'll stay, if it isn't and you leave, I dedicate my next ex girl friend (who will be a crushed liar) to you.

[Rob26]

Yeah, that's a toughie. Don't know what to tell you but I feel for you.

[vashti]

i don't know what her diagnosis is, but many degenerative neurological diseases are a genetic problem, and considering how young she is, I am betting she falls in this category. If you ever think you may want kids, I'd keep that in mind.

I don't think it is your obligation (at this point) to stay because as Giga pointed out - you aren't married. . Your needs are NOT less important than hers. Of course you will feel bad for her, but that doesn't change the fact that you have no more obligation to her now than you did before you found out her diagnosis. It is very easy for outsiders to say "if you loved her, blah blah blah..." because they have no real idea of what you would be sacrificing. I DO. If you were my child, I would encourage you to live YOUR life to its fullest. You are too young to be making such a sacrifice. If she loves you, she will agree.

Of course, should you choose to break off with her, timing would be important. I would probably wait until she's had a chance to accept her condition. How long has she known about it? And what is her diagnosis?

[Tedel]

This reminds me something I once read:

Imagine you're in a ship and it's sinking.
Sure your lover would say "let's die together!"
Sure your mother would say "save yourself!"

Who loves you more?

[LostNotFound]

This reminds me something I once read:

Imagine you're in a ship and it's sinking.
Sure your lover would say "let's die together!"
Sure your mother would say "save yourself!"

Who loves you more?

she gave me life, i live it with him.
this is so chicken and the egg all over again

[IndiReloaded]

Whatever you decide, try to remain her friend and give her whatever support you would to a friend going thru a tough experience.

I had a good friend who died from a chronic illness. We lived pretty far apart, so I called her once a week or so. Towards the end I sent her weekly 'fun packages' to help keep her spirits up & give her something to do in the hospital.

Try to find a similar balance point. She's not alone, she has family also right?