Still cant forget him after 2 years

[Optical]

sorry this is sooo long but i needed to explain everything to make you understand it clearly. any advise would be great and thanks for reading it i know its long.

right. so me and my mate started dating after a couple of weeks of endless flirting. i wasn't sure about dating him and i didn't know if its what i wanted. we got together a couple of weeks passed and he told me that he loved me. i said it back even though i didn't mean it. he caught me by surprise no one had ever said they loved me before. i then went on holiday for two weeks. while i was away i realized how much i did care for him and yes finally i truly was in love it was the best thing in the world. a week went by and it was the best week ever he was amazing we saw each other everyday. cuddling and kissing i was so happy. then he went on holiday for a week. the week was soo long for me and i was so happy when he come back. the day he come back he was distant with me.he didn't seem to care that i was there. i went home that night and cried myself to sleep. a couple of days later i saw him again. we were back to normal hugging and kissing everything was great again.
he then didn't come out for a couple of weeks and i only spoke to him over the computer. meanwhile me and his best mate had started hanging out with each other more and got closer. one drunken night i started crying to his best mate about how i felt and he told me that my bf had been going to this other girls house and watching movies. i was angry and sad and felt betrayed.thats when i snogged his best mate. i couldn't believe i had done that and i felt guilty. worst thing was his best mate had a girlfriend who was one of my friends. well the next day my bf was not out again. me and his best mate never spoke about the kiss we shared but i still knew about my bf being with this other girl. for the next week i i was so down. i hated life and just cried all the time. finally my boyfriend came out again. i didn't make any connection with him when i saw him. a group of us walked over to our local cannel. as we were walking my bf stopped behind and said we needed to speak. i knew what was gonna happen. we finished with eachother mutually and decided to stay friends. months passed and i hadnt seen him. it killed me that we were great friends then gf and bf then suddenly nothing. during this time me and his best mates had become the best of mates. he was my rock and things happened between us even though he had a gf. then suddenly one saturday my ex bf comes out. it was soo hard seeing him. two years later it still kills me to see him. now worse one of my friends and my ex bf like eachother and i cant cope with it. even after two years it kills me to think of him with someone else let alone one of my mates. i feel guilty that im in the way of their happiness but i dont know what to do.well now today im more confused. i saw him again and he was all loving towards me and was cuddling and kissing me. he said ill be fine as long as you here at one part of the night and im soo confused. he knows i care for him and i think he cares for me too but i dont know for sure and i dont know how to ask him.. or if i should i dont want to be hurt again and be made look like a prat?? and now my mate likes him... its soo screwed up and still things happen between me and his best mate....all im sure off is that i love him and im preety sure i always will.... i need advice what am i meant to do

[Lozenger]

How can you still love him after all the hurt he put you through?!
It will be difficult getting over him especially when he isn't exactly out of your life.
I would try and go out with a few single friends and see if you can meet some hot, single guys

Good Luck!

X

[Mish]

i think he cares for me too but i dont know for sure and i dont know how to ask him.. or if i should i dont want to be hurt again and be made look like a prat?? and now my mate likes him... its soo screwed up and still things happen between me and his best mate....all im sure off is that i love him and im preety sure i always will.... i need advice what am i meant to do

Yes, very, very messy

I don't know where to begin

First of all, can you trust him? Do you know what has been going on between him and this other girl? (especially when you were still in a relationship) If you don't then you simply can't make a decision at this stage. Don't even try until you find out the true story and the truth.

during this time me and his best mates had become the best of mates. he was my rock and things happened between us even though he had a gf.

Just out of curiosity, how does it make you feel doing "things" with his best mate knowing that he has a gf? Doesn't his gf remind you a little bit of someone you know very well, someone who was once in a similar situation? Because, you know, if it was me I'd feel really guilty doing that to the point where I wouldn't.

[Optical]

How can you still love him after all the hurt he put you through?!
It will be difficult getting over him especially when he isn't exactly out of your life.
I would try and go out with a few single friends and see if you can meet some hot, single guys

Good Luck!

X

it sounds so simple when it is wrote down like you've put it.
but he isn't out of my life and its hard to see him and forget him. i dont know if i want someone else. i mean im so annoyed about myself. i mean two years and im still hooked on this guy, i mean i pretend im not in front of my friends but i am i do wish i could find someone new. maybe someone will come along soon???...

[Lozenger]

it sounds so simple when it is wrote down like you've put it.
but he isn't out of my life and its hard to see him and forget him. i dont know if i want someone else. i mean im so annoyed about myself. i mean two years and im still hooked on this guy, i mean i pretend im not in front of my friends but i am i do wish i could find someone new. maybe someone will come along soon???...

I'm sure somebody will that's why i suggested going out with friends, perhaps to a night club/pub - or even a concert

Your friends should know about this problem, because they can help you to get over your ex fully.

All the best,

X

[Optical]

Yes, very, very messy

I don't know where to begin

First of all, can you trust him? Do you know what has been going on between him and this other girl? (especially when you were still in a relationship) If you don't then you simply can't make a decision at this stage. Don't even try until you find out the true story and the truth.



Just out of curiosity, how does it make you feel doing "things" with his best mate knowing that he has a gf? Doesn't his gf remind you a little bit of someone you know very well, someone who was once in a similar situation? Because, you know, if it was me I'd feel really guilty doing that to the point where I wouldn't.

i understand what you are hinting at. but his gf was a bit of a tosser to be honest even though she is my friend. she didnt treat him right and i guess we both just wanted someone to rely on. and can i add i only did things with his best mate when i knew in my own mind it was going to be over between me and him.

and to ur nest point can i trust him. i dont know and i dont know what happened between him and this other girl. thats if anything happened but after two years does it seem worth bringing it up and ruining the friendship we still have. i think i cant move on until i know though....... i need to talk to him about us and where we went wrong but i cant i just keep pushing it to the back of my mind where it eats away at me............. i just cant bring myself to confront him because i love him to much still to want to put a shadow on what we once had. maybe im still hoping we will get together and i dont know why!! im so confused.

[Optical]

I'm sure somebody will that's why i suggested going out with friends, perhaps to a night club/pub - or even a concert

Your friends should know about this problem, because they can help you to get over your ex fully.

All the best,

X

this is where it gets more complicated.
i have two great mates. lets name them s and i for short.
will i mate has got a bf and everything evolves round him and i dont feel like i could talk to her about these things.
s is the one that has feelings for my ex bf and my ex bf has feelings for her but she wont date him because of how i feel so i cant even really speak to her about it.
and my other mates i just dont trust enough... i feel like im never gonna get through this ever!! thanks for the advice though xx

[Lozenger]

Hey, how comes you don't trust your other friends enough?
You could go out with these friends and not tell them about how you feel about your ex. Then just flirt wildly with any hot attractive male you see
I'm sure in time you'll get over him - but, try to convince your other friend that she should go out with him so at least two of the people you care for are happier - then you wouldn't feel so guilty as you would no longer prevent there relationship.

I once thought I loved someone and I felt that way for 4 years. But I hated it because he never felt the same way and it hurt very much. So i deleted his number, his msn and myspace and whilst he was still in my life, I only talked to him in a civil way - it hurt but I knew I had to do it and I told myself over and over again "He's an idiot and I have no feelings for him." I also averted my eyes whenever I saw him or a picture of him and eventually I got over him.... - and started to have feelings for someone else - who guess what? Also doesn't have feelings for me lol!
So now I'm starting the whole process again

X

[Mish]

i understand what you are hinting at. but his gf was a bit of a tosser to be honest even though she is my friend. she didnt treat him right and i guess we both just wanted someone to rely on.

Whether or not she did or didn't treat him right is not of your concern. If she was so bad for him, he would break up with her, he didn't. In a way you played a part in sabotaging another person's relationship, that's forever yours to keep on your conscience.

and to ur nest point can i trust him. i dont know and i dont know what happened between him and this other girl. thats if anything happened but after two years does it seem worth bringing it up and ruining the friendship we still have. i think i cant move on until i know though....... i need to talk to him about us and where we went wrong but i cant i just keep pushing it to the back of my mind where it eats away at me............. i just cant bring myself to confront him because i love him to much still to want to put a shadow on what we once had. maybe im still hoping we will get together and i dont know why!! im so confused.

Perhaps there are other ways you can find out without confronting him? You need to know for yourself what happened between them. If you don't you can't make the right decision on where to go from here with him. You are doubtful. Your trust is broken, you need to repair it before you go ahead.