should i break up with him?

[ecojeanne]

Hi hope someone can clear my head,

my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 6 months. he has a female friend in work he has known for about 7 months who has said nasty things about me and of course when we split for a week she continued to say bad things about me. i accept that he has friends in work and to be honest im not the jealous type. i dont like her because of what he tells me she says about me. everytime i meet her i make sure not to show that i know about her comments and how hurt i am about her comments and i am nice to her because i dont want to have any uncomfortable situations. i have been over the top romantic with him lately, candles, champagne, sexy outfits the works! moneys tight so i hadnt been able to do this in a while.

My lodger is leaving and so im in a situation where money could be really tight. i did find a guy who is a stranger to me to move in and pay the price i was looking for, my boyfriend got jealous and said he would move in and pursuaded me because he is getting a promotion although hasnt got the signed contract yet. i was a bit hesitant because its a big step even if he has his own room and space.

i called the guy up and refused the room to him so it was official my bf was moving in. my bf calls me the next day and says he doesnt want to pay the price because he wasnt sure if he could afford it. he has to pass exams to get this promotion. he tells me he is (after we both decided we were not going to go so he could study) going to his female friend bday party(some of my mates would have been there because i used to work in the same place as him), the previous day he rounded up a few people and went into town and risked getting caught by police (hes a learner driver and isnt supposed to drive on his own) to get her a presant...needless to say he went to a lot of effort. anyway so he is going to the party and hasnt asked me to go with him and infact suggested to me to pick him up in town so he doesnt have to pay for a taxi and he is planning to call in sick the next day....i have no confidence at this point in the relationship or him getting the job and being able to pay the rent

im feelin like crap right now

what should i do?

[Brose]

hey. its so crazy no one has replied to this. Listen i think you should give him a chance. He seems like he is trying to come up in the world and life keeps throwing obstacles in his path. Your support and love might be exactly what he needs right now. I know its hard to deal with a dude who seems to be trifling, seems to not be getting any traction, but your affection might jus be the key to jolting his future in the right direction. I hope for the best for you. cuz I've been that dude, and been dumped for going thru similar type drama. and I jus wish someone had been there with some affection you know? Well thas jus my opinion. peace

[starbuck]

He's asking you to pick him up from a party that he didn't even invite you to? Sorry, but your boyfriend sounds like an inconsiderate, irresponsible asshole.

I'd be very wary of letting him move in with you. It sounds like he's looking for a free ride. And his relationship with his "friend" is weird. Girl, is this one really worth it?

[starbuck]

hey. its so crazy no one has replied to this. Listen i think you should give him a chance. He seems like he is trying to come up in the world and life keeps throwing obstacles in his path. Your support and love might be exactly what he needs right now. I know its hard to deal with a dude who seems to be trifling, seems to not be getting any traction, but your affection might jus be the key to jolting his future in the right direction. I hope for the best for you. cuz I've been that dude, and been dumped for going thru similar type drama. and I jus wish someone had been there with some affection you know? Well thas jus my opinion. peace

Oh yes, the world keeps throwing obstacles in his path. It's everyone else's fault but his that he doesn't have enough money to split the rent with her. And it's such an obstacle that he has to attend a party and skip out on work the next day. Poor him.

[ecojeanne]

i wasnt sure what to do so i bought 'The Magic of Making Up' soon after reading the posts and it made me realise that i had to break up with him...when i did he just insulted me like a crazed lunatic...calling me self centered etc etc. i know i have made the right decision....he really was the wrong person for me so thanks to both of u who replied both answers really helped. its awful that he felt he had to insult me because obviously he is friends with my friends but he has no friends of his own so i guess someday soon he'll drop them too....

[Mish]

You made the right decision Jeanne, he was lying and outright manipulating you. he didn't respect you and wouldn't have if you continued going out with him. I hope you sent a few decent insults back and slammed the phone half way on him.

[ecojeanne]

well actually he made it so easy....i didnt have to insult him...i threw all his comments and accusations and insults everything back at him calmly with examples...he couldnt cope...i was sharp as a cutting edge knife....i have to say it felt good....but also i did feel bad because there really was no going back....and we really wouldnt be able to be in the same room...well at least i can't because i have woken up...it was so clear....i knew... so i do think for the moment i will have to sacrifice my friends....and of course im sure he will make up lies about me....but i believe in karma so i dont mind... i am a little sad though..