Isn't into anyone else that much

[lastwish]

I don't know why, but I'm still thinking about my ex (it has been more than a year since the breakup). There has been guys interested in me but I'm just not that interested. Not that there is anything wrong with them but I just don't feel the same passion for them as I do for my ex.

I was "friends" with my ex for a year after the break-up (I broke it off)and 3 months ago I ceased our friendship because I realize being friends with him won't help me get over him. I blocked him on msn and stopped talking to him for these 3 months.

A little background...I broke it off because I felt he wasn't putting enough effort in the relationship. For example, I'm tired of initiating conversations. Plus, he doesn't seem to like going out with me that much. After I broke it off, strangely our conversations remain intimate (nothing about sex but still related to love, etc). There was a time that I wanted him back but then he said he isn't ready for a relationship and that he has nothing to offer (I have no idea what that meant and he won't tell me). He told me he can't be "close" friends with me because it is strange to him that we talk about people we're dating to each other.

Fast forward...
3 months later after I ceased our friendship, I'm back in school, coincidentally I have classes with him. Whenever I walk in class he stares at me. And also after class when we're going home (we go the same path home). I pretended I didn't see him and turn away.

He just stares and won't come up to me to say hi or anything. And I don't want to initiate anything because that will just get me to want him more and more. And I don't want to go back into the pattern of emotional dependency on him.

LF members, what is your opinion on this? I'm not looking for any specific advice but go ahead and put your opinions out there.

[MzConfused]

i think that he's still interested in you but i do think that like you, he doesn't want to go down the emotional side of things. i think he likes you alot because he could've easily moved on, but he still cares about you and it seems he feels awkward talking about dates and that with you because he still likes you. You could ask him about it or you could try to forget it but you really have nothing to lose because you're not together now, so by asking him you can only go up into a relationship, but you can't go down.xxxxx

good luck.xxx

[lastwish]

I checked and he hasn't deleted me off his contact list yet. If he hasn't moved on, why doesn't he at least say hi? Also, I have noticed he has been talking to a lot of girls lately in class...which is something so unlike him. Is he moving on?

[starbuck]

Ugh, how awkward to have classes with him. Since you cut off contact with him, maybe he's just respecting your wishes of not wanting to have anything to do with him? If you are the one who cut off contact, you may be the one who needs to initiate it again, if that's what you want.

[lastwish]

I don't know what I want to do. Do you think he's worth the effort and the emotional investment?

[starbuck]

I'm not sure since he said he wasn't ready for a relationship, right? Do you really want him (flaws and all) back? Or do you think you're feeling nostalgic about the relationship or just missing being with someone?

After a breakup, I often start looking back at exes and wondering "what if". But I usually realize that the "what if"s are signs that I'm afraid of finding someone new, and not a real indicator that I want to be with an ex.

I'm sure eventually you'll be able to figure out how you feel about him. It's just too bad you have to see him so frequently because that's gotta be frustrating.