i need some advice

[ilovepanties]

i think i may be over reacting to this, but i know that if the table was turned, then he would be mad at me. So, my boyfriend like to discuss stuff on this forum site for musicians, but i hardly ever see him posting on music stuff, it's mostly off topic discussions. Well, the other day somebody post pics of this girl and he didn't like her because of her boobs, she has abnormally sized boobs for her body. So, a different person posted pics of this other chick, and i will admit that she is pretty, but i noticed his post said "I like these" with a love smiley. Not only this, but there are girls that post all the time on there and he "talks" with them on the forums, and i know the PM him, but he deletes all of his PMs. Oh, and he spends hours at a time on this forum site. I told him yesterday that i would be happy if he spent at least half the time with me than he did on that stupid site. He didn't even respond to me. I don't know if i should be mad at him or what, i've already tried to talk to him, but obviously it doesn't work. So, what should i do?

[ilovepanties]

i know i must be over reacting

[Lite]

Is this an internet relationship?

If he's deleting his PMs, then it's pretty much a given he's up to no good. People with nothing to hide, don't bother to hide it. He's doing something he knows he shouldn't, and is trying to not get caught.

[yegdulps]

Not a great relationship to be honest. He seems like he's doing things that you aren't happy with and you don't respect his privacy.
I've had a girlfriend go through my SMS and email and I was furious, not because I had something to hide (I didn't), but because she mistrusted me enough to do it. To me even in a relationship you're still an individual private person.

[ilovepanties]

Is this an internet relationship?

If he's deleting his PMs, then it's pretty much a given he's up to no good. People with nothing to hide, don't bother to hide it. He's doing something he knows he shouldn't, and is trying to not get caught.

It's not an internet relationship, we have been together for 4 and a half years

[ilovepanties]

Not a great relationship to be honest. He seems like he's doing things that you aren't happy with and you don't respect his privacy.
I've had a girlfriend go through my SMS and email and I was furious, not because I had something to hide (I didn't), but because she mistrusted me enough to do it. To me even in a relationship you're still an individual private person.

I didn't do this til recently because i do trust him. But one day i just looked at the screen to see what he was doing and there's pictures of half naked girls on the screen. I was like what the heck are you looking at, so i looked to see what he was saying. That's when i found those comments that he made that i don't approve of. I do respect his privacy, but he did cross the line a bit.

[yegdulps]

I didn't do this til recently because i do trust him. But one day i just looked at the screen to see what he was doing and there's pictures of half naked girls on the screen. I was like what the heck are you looking at, so i looked to see what he was saying. That's when i found those comments that he made that i don't approve of. I do respect his privacy, but he did cross the line a bit.

Fact: Like it or not, guys watch porn. Whether they are in a relationship or not.

[ilovepanties]

Fact: Like it or not, guys watch porn. Whether they are in a relationship or not.

yeah, but why hide it? or deny it when asked?

[Lite]

yeah, but why hide it? or deny it when asked?

Perhaps your tone of voice expressed scorn or irritation, and therefore putting him on the spot made him deny it because he was embarassed?

Or, perhaps he doesn't feel he can share his porn viewing habits with you? You could ask to be involved, ask him what he likes about particular pieces of porn, maybe use some of those ideas to spice up your bedroom life? I look at porn, my wife knows I do, I don't hide it from her, and in many cases if I see something I feel she'd like, I'll point it out to her.

On the other hand, what he's doing isn't looking at porn. Porn is generally anonymous. He's basically e-cheating on you if he's chatting up women for photos and/or sending pictures of himself. That means he's soliciting others for attention. That's what he's doing that you don't like, which isn't looking at porn at all. It's coming on to women who are not you that bothers you, and rightfully so.

[ilovepanties]

On the other hand, what he's doing isn't looking at porn. Porn is generally anonymous. He's basically e-cheating on you if he's chatting up women for photos and/or sending pictures of himself. That means he's soliciting others for attention. That's what he's doing that you don't like, which isn't looking at porn at all. It's coming on to women who are not you that bothers you, and rightfully so.

Yes, exactly. But he says that these women are like 40 and have kids. I've read some of his post from the past and some of them have like a double meaning to them. He may not see it but I do, and I know if I do, then so do these other women.

Oh, and I'm sure that he's not sending them pics of himself. He hates taking pictures, let alone letting other people see them.

[Lite]

Yes, exactly. But he says that these women are like 40 and have kids. I've read some of his post from the past and some of them have like a double meaning to them. He may not see it but I do, and I know if I do, then so do these other women.

Oh, and I'm sure that he's not sending them pics of himself. He hates taking pictures, let alone letting other people see them.

Look, he's engaging in behavior that you don't like, and you do have a right to request that he stop. The fact that he deletes his PMs is pretty much admission of guilt that he knows that he is doing wrong by you. The age of the other women doesn't matter, and chances her he's sending them photos of his cock.

Now, what more is it you want to know? You don't like it, he keeps doing it, go find a new boyfriend that doesn't suck.