What's up with her?

[KingRansom]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a bit over two years. I'm 17 and she is 20. It's a long distance relationship. She lives two hours away, so we probably only see eachother once a month. But we've made it work. She's my "first".

She's always been a very depressive person, she's even said that. Though sometimes it's hard to tell because she hides it well but deep down, she's not that happy she says. However, since the beginning of January..it's been noticeably bad. Like, all the sudden she stopped wanting to talk. She says it's because when she gets this depressed, she just secludes herself and doesn't wanna talk to anyone.

She came down to visit in February for two weeks, and the week before she came here, I only talked to her for a total of 10 minutes the whole week. Days would go by where she wouldn't talk, others it'd be just to say goodnight, and some would only be to ask "Do you know if I'm still going there?" I don't get it. I asked her "You don't even wanna talk now, what happens when you come here? Are we going to have a staring contest?" And she said that it'd be different once she came here, that she wouldn't have to talk if we're physically together. If that makes sense.

And while she was here, it was great. But once she went back home, it was the same way as it was before she came over. She used to call me, email me, ect but now it seems like she's not even making an effort to get in any contact with me at all.

I commented on how she hasn't called and her response was that it's always her having to call here, but I didn't have long distance on my phone and the pricing per minute was ridiculous. So recently, I got long distance on my phone and when I call her, it seems like I've caught her at the wrong time. The tone in her voice is like "What do you want?" it seems like. Usually it's "I don't feel like talking"

It's been bothering me a lot, so I told her all about how I felt and it got nowhere - it only led to an argument so it was pointless cause it didn't even feel like I got it off of my chest. She told me she's upset and wishes I could just be patient with her and that she's not going to be happy overnight.

So I don't know. I do know she's never been truly happy all her life, that she may seem like she is but deep down she's not but I've NEVER seen it get this bad, the way it has in these last three months.

[Spring Haze]

So then why not listen to her requests and be patient with her? Are you doing anything to help her get through this rough time?

[KingRansom]

So then why not listen to her requests and be patient with her? Are you doing anything to help her get through this rough time?

There is nothing I can do to help, as she put it.

[Spring Haze]

Well if she's not seeking treatment, and/or refuses help, perhaps you should consider encouraging her to do so. If she still resists, maybe give her an ultimatum. People who don't want to help themselves are a lost cause.

If she's doing all she can, and you think you can deal with her being distant, stick it out.

[KingRansom]

Well if she's not seeking treatment, and/or refuses help, perhaps you should consider encouraging her to do so. If she still resists, maybe give her an ultimatum. People who don't want to help themselves are a lost cause.

If she's doing all she can, and you think you can deal with her being distant, stick it out.

Lol, this just gets more complicated. I have encouraged her to seek treatment such as counselling, or something along those lines. She was offended, went on to tell me that I am her boyfriend and I am supposed to be the one there for her to talk to, not some stranger. Yet she tells me there is nothing I can do..

Shrugs.

Thing is, like I mentioned, she's always been depressed..but always likes talking. I could never tell she was because she hid it well, so everything seemed normal. I remember a while ago, I went to visit my sister overnight on a Friday, then the next day at noon, I'd go to the gym, then hang out with a friend afterwards, and later on in the night, watch a pay per view boxing match which would be over at 1 AM. Then on Sunday, she'd be leaving in the morning to go to a family gathering and wouldn't be home til later. So when I told her all this before it happened, her response was "Greaaaat. We're hardly gonna be able to talk this weekend!'

Now she hardly ever wants to talk. Yet gets frustrated when I take it personal. Its kind of hard not to when she's like, completely shutting me out.

[KingRansom]

Anyone else?