Broken Hearthed once more

[JasonVoorhees]

hey guys.

like in december i had been dumped by my 3years girlfriend, i had posted here about. i showed her the im not crying for her anymore and moving on that time and that triggered her love for me and got back with me. Now she dumped me again , with the same reason she wants to just be alone but she still loves me and worries about my like last time but wants to forget me to be alone.

i want to know if i can get her back like i did last time, now i know some people will tell me to move on , and i know the risk of this will happen again. But all i want is her back, i grew up together with this girl from when we were 14, we never missed a day with each other and thats why i know she still loves me. she doesnt want to meet with me face to face cause she says she will fall for me. we chat everyday on msn and irc.

all i want is help and opinions if its possible to get her back and how to do it. maybe something that someone has already used to get his GF back.

Thanks in Advance, Peace.

[MisterFlapJack]

Maybe you guys just needed some time apart to realize that you need each other.

If you don't mind me asking, what was the reason for the breakup?

[Mish]

Unfortunately moving on is not an option. It's a requirement. Think about how you will feel when she starts going on with someone new, will you still want to be emotionally attached to her when that happens?

[Lonely Island]

Why would you want to get back with her?

She is going to keep doing this

[Gribble]

My advice is to call this man:

[lahnnabell]

Why in the world do you want this girl? You guys are now just stuck in this cycle of co-dependency. You each depend on the other one to be stronger and to pull you through. You want to be a stronger person just so you can get this girl back.

Why do you believe she is worth all this trouble? My guess is she was your first real girlfriend, since you say you were together at 14. This means you need to get out and gain some experience being alone. Taking care of your needs by yourself and not relying on someone to shoulder you all the time.

In short, it's time to grow up.

[JasonVoorhees]

iv been going out and expiriencing from when i was 12, in the country i live you dont have to be 20 to start having fun, most of the people caught doing bad things like drugs are at age 13-15 here. it is my first real love and i dont want to loose her , i still went drinkin out with her and friends when we where together so im not gonna gain anything by being single, im just gonna loose. I would pay anything to get her back, because nothing ever made me leave her, and i was living the happies life with her for 3years and over.

[Gigabitch]

Put down the fork and get away from the outlet.

[lastwish]

WHY do you want her back? Don't allow yourself reasons like "its a feeling of love" or "I'm lonely without her", etc. You need to ask youself questions like "Do you think she's a good person?" and "Do you think your relationship with her will last". Answer them objectively. Asking the more important questions will lead you to the right direction.

[lahnnabell]

Have you thought that maybe because you've been together so long that she wants something different that you simply can't give her?

You need to let her go. Trying to win her back by pining over here and crying like your 12 year old self is only going to push her further away (most likely toward a more mature guy who's got his sh** together).

You are your own person who needs to learn to take care of himself. You're what, 17 or 18 now? Yeah, that's adulthood no matter where you are. Get used to it.

FYI, the fact that you've been "having fun" since the age of 12 does not make up for the experience you lack in life skills and independence. This is what you should work on. When you become confident and capable, you attract people. It's true.

[JasonVoorhees]

I did think about it alot, its not my feelings . but we never had anything wrong in this relationship. and all i saw was help from her never hatred thats why i was living a happy relationship with her cause i only saw good things from her and never saw hatred.

now she's fighting with me even if she sees me talking to other woman on IRC (chatting) :S she comes argumenting with me cause i talk to other girls shes jelous as hell :S i mean shes not with me why is she doing this?!?!?

and second for the one who said dont try to cry for her to get her back, of course im not... you push a women further like that. im trying to get her back by makin her miss me and showing her the im moving on and having fun, but i need some more ideas to make her go crazy about you... wait or she is already?!

i dont understand her.. thats why i need ideas.

she dumps you.. she worries about you, ok some people would say thats because shes your friend .. yeah right, friends get jelous as hell and start fighting with you for seeing you talking with other woman.. ?! or if you go out get drunk?!!

thats love... but something is keeping her back, the only reason she says is she wants to be alone and forget me even if she loves me as hell... but wtf, forget a person that loves you just to stay alone??? are women this much crazy man?!!!

[lahnnabell]

THAT is not love. Love is trusting the person you are with. Love is supporting them through thick and thin. Love is taking turns being the strong one in the relationship when the other needs you.

You two are stuck in a cycle. She is messing with you because she is jealous, yes. She is upset because you're aren't actively trying to win her back by pining over her. She is immature. A strong, independent woman would accept her loss and move on. She has a lot of growing to do.

So do you. And the fact that you've never had anything wrong in this relationship merely speaks of how immature you are. A strong relationship will have its up's and down's, but the people in the relationship will know how to work together to prevent it from tearing them apart.

[JasonVoorhees]

LOL so Lahnabell your saying that if a relation doesnt have problems its not love? come on man.. i mean arguments we had but nothing serious, i dont agree with you.

anyways- update:
we talked on msn today and she started crying and wanted to meet with me, we met, she started crying and saying she loves me and didnt get her hands of me, we even made love :/ on msn she said that if we met she would probably end up with me again but i told her i would say no cause its too early and she's still confused.

i dont understand, she cries and says her life is not worth living without me but she doesnt want to be with me... pls somebody have had an expierience like this?????

[lahnnabell]

She's a drama queen who wants attention. She has self-esteem issues and is using you for a "pick me up" every now and then. There is nothing more that you can really do for her. You being around enables her behavior. She has no sense of independence or what it takes to be self-reliant. She just runs to you whenever she feels down or has a problem.

This girl will learn nothing if she continues to live this way. She will find that she constantly repels people because as we all get older we tend to want less drama. This girl feeds off the drama because she thinks it gives her purpose. She thinks it makes her interesting. It makes her a giant pain the ass, as you can see.

You should cut off contact with her. No contact whatsoever. But most people don't take that road because you're getting sex and attention her "love".

I'm saying relationships that don't have problems aren't real. No two people can have exactly the same views on anything. When you finally decide to live with or marry someone you find that you have different views on how to raise children, save money, where to live, etc. That stuff takes planning and work and will always result in "problems". It's how you work through it and handle yourself that matters.

You really need to make a decision now. There's not much more advice anyone can give you. If you're looking for more, then it's probably because no one is telling you what you want to hear. Sorry, man.

[JasonVoorhees]

yes maybe she is but she still loves me and cries for me, i still love her. why should i throw everything away if im not intrested in single life.. all i want is help getting her back, not help forgeting her.
else i would have opened a thread saying how to get over her..