Can't get over her :(

[jameswalker]

Ok so it has been about three years since I last saw her. She is my first love and there hasn't been a day where I don't think about her and I see her everywhere I go like I see a little bit of her in every girl I meet. The truth is I miss her but at the same time, I want to truthfully move on. I have been in relationships with other girls but I still miss her everyday. Ever since the break up we have been more like aquaintences, I remember when we would talk over the phone and I would talk about the guys in her life or something like that she would get upset so our relationship is more of a hi and bye thing. I have been thinking about her non stop for the last few days because I accidently found the box with all the things she gave me, pictures and everything and I realized that I truly took her for granted and I became really controlling because I was scared of losing her and eventually I did but as it is with most things, people change, I am sure she is a different person now. I thought I was over her but I still get butterflies in my stomach and I think of all the good times we had. Thanks to things like myspace and facebook, I can see how shes doing don't worry I'm not a stalker or anything, she is actually the one who sent me a friend request. But look my goal when I was with her was to make her truly happy and inturn that made me happy, I remember getting out of school and just going to see her or surprise her, it made me happy even if I just saw her for 1 minute, lol I don't know why I love her so much but she has moved on, she has boyfriend and to be honest I didn't feel jealous or anything because I want her to be happy and maybe this guy or the guys in her future will give her the happiness that she deserves, and she deserves a lot. But I want to move on and recieve the happyness that I dersrve. But this has been a three year struggle and it doesn't feel any different. So does anyone have useful tips or advice?


Also I remember she told me that she would never for get me when we broke up. To people who have said that to someone do you guys/girls really mean that? or did you just say it to let the person down easy?

thanks in advance,


-Grey

[EndlessRomantic]

Also I remember she told me that she would never for get me when we broke up. To people who have said that to someone do you guys/girls really mean that? or did you just say it to let the person down easy?

Phrases like "I will never forget you" and "I am sure I will regret this someday" are phrases that are often used to let someone go easier. They are often said in an emotional state : A breakup, and I wouldn't look too deep into them.

As for getting over her, If you keep contact with her, you probably wont get over her. You are probably putting her on a pedestal in your mind, making all the other girls you meet look less interesting. The thing you need to get into your mind, is that she isn't what your mind pictures her to be. People tend to keep only the good moments of a past relationship and not the bad ones.

Do you look at her facebook every day? or alteast every week? if you do, your only hurting yourself and not helping you get over her. I'd say time fixes all, but after three years, you might need to force her out of your life completly.

Good luck mate!

[RaymondT]

To get over with her just cut of contact from her for a few months so you can move on and forget about her, also remove her facebook!

[tasha1133]

Bluntly, you need to get over her. You have established that you want her to be happy, and so far you know that she is. Now you on the other hand, can't seem to get over her.

The only way to move on is to stop making her the focus of your life. Distance yourself from her (and not just physically). You need to get rid of anything you have that might remind you of her. Or at least put it away where you wont see it. remembering her is NOT going to help your goal. The same goes for any networks you have that connect you to her. Phone number, email, friend on facebook etc. Stop them, if they are there its harder to control the urge to check out her profile. Even just seeing her icon will remind you of her.

Once you have done this focus on keeping your mind from straying to thoughts of her. Engage in hobbies that are fulfilling. It gives you an avenue to explore and learn and it kill idle time (which you might spend thinking about her)

And lastly open yourself up to the possibilities of meeting someone else. STOP comparing all the girls that you meet with her. MOVE ON, unless you're truly willing to, you never will.

[freakme619]

Just stop thinking of her, and try to move on in any way you can. Cut off any contact with her such as deleting her number or even her address. You have to be established that whenever she finds another one and she is happy with that guy, you must also be happy for her success.

[chickprincess]

If you really want to forget her, make yourself PREOCCUPIED. Do things that will make you NOT think of her. Do the necessary things needed like deleting every contact that you have with her. She'll find a way to get back to you if she really loves you.

[SAVANAH]

Your curiosity is and has been getting the better of you and that's why you can't let go cause your continuously wondering checking up and so forth, it's like your addicted and keep going back knowing it's not good for you, so just cut off everything, facebook pictures everything needs to be removed from your life, 3 years is a long time and you need to make a plan now, the longer you wait the more time you waste...

We can tell you what to do and how to go about it but at the end of the day it's you move to put it into action, this is something you can only do if it's what you really want...

I know you'd love to feel this way about another girl that returns the love, but you can only have that once you've made the decision to move on and forget about her!

[lucyinthesky]

That sucks man, that sounds like some real heartache, but, if your love is that strong, maybe its worth trying to look her up again. That kind of thing maybe only happens once in a lifetime, and those are the kinds of things that you have to fight for.