he asks me to come to the other side of the world, and now he's unsure? help!

[crazychicken]

me and my boyfriend met together working on islands in resorts, and we immediately had an attraction with each toher and began spending all spare time together, until he had to leave. he moved to a different lodge, after he left he realised he loved me more than anyone else he has ever met and got me a job with him on an island, so i moved there and we became a couple.
before we had gotten together we had both known he was moving overseas.
but being so in love we thought we'd see where things would take us. (he has serious issues in long distance relationships) we spent all our time together before he left, i flew to different places together, and when we said goodbye it was horrible. we have been doing long distance as easily as we can, being hard we said we could be with other people if it was needed. i have now booked my trip over, he was excited as anything and couldnt wait for me to come so we can explore the world, be together again. i leave in 2 weeks, last weekend he got really drunk and slept with somebody. i had mentally prepared for myself, so was upset, but took it ok. he called me upset saying he regrets it and hates himself for it. and i genuinely belived him and understand everyone can mistakes, but people only get one chance.
but now he's unsure if he wants to be in a relationship. he thinks its too much pressure if things go wrong, i asked if its because he wants to sleep with other people and he promised its not and says he loves me and has so many strong feelings for me still, but is confused.
and all he say is ' i dont know '. so now im flying to a country i dont know, unsure whether i have a place to live or a boyfriend to be there for me.
is he just getting coldfeet? and over thinking everything? i dont know what to do. ive spoken to him about it again and again. and he doesnt even have answers for himself. do i stop bothering him so i dont add more pressure? im so scared and need some serious advice, none of my friends know what to say!

[Wallace Stevens]

Your interpretations of this guy's behavior are charitable. He has " serious issues in long distance relationships"? Come on. Everyone has issues in LDRs; they're not exactly a blast. He slept with another woman while you weren't around? Come on. He should know better. He's confused? About what?

This guy sounds like a grade-A womanizer.

[Gigabitch]

This is a casual relationship. This is pretty much what you can accept from people in your line of work (I know about this- I've done this kind of work too, for years).

I say go ahead with an open mind about what this will bring you. Maybe you'll be with him, maybe not, but you've already booked the tickets and you sound like someone who lands on her feet, generally. Sounds like an adventure.

[crazychicken]

but when we lived together away from the resorts and together, it wasnt casual it was fine. he knows what its like being with me. he just all of a sudden is freaking out and in unsure if he's ready for the pressure.
he's saying what happens if it doesnt work? but why not deal with that when that happens instead of jumping in and ruining it before. i dont know if this him going through cold feet thats all.
im only 18 so loosing this security is going to be hard, and he says he'll take care of me. but he's not my dad. i dont want to force him into a relationship either. i leave in like a week and im going quite insane

[elfen31]

Hon moving to another country where he's the ONLY one you know is a HUGE step to make for someone who's sleeping around on you and who isn't sure about your relationship. I honestly believe that you NEED to step away from this guy and start taking care of yourself. I mean when you go to the other side of the world and this jackass decides he doesn't want to be with you anymore, since he sounds so unsure now, what are YOU going to do? Girl, leave his triflin' ass!!

[elfen31]

but when we lived together away from the resorts and together, it wasnt casual it was fine. he knows what its like being with me. he just all of a sudden is freaking out and in unsure if he's ready for the pressure.
he's saying what happens if it doesnt work? but why not deal with that when that happens instead of jumping in and ruining it before. i dont know if this him going through cold feet thats all.
im only 18 so loosing this security is going to be hard, and he says he'll take care of me. but he's not my dad. i dont want to force him into a relationship either. i leave in like a week and im going quite insane

Wait a minute you're only 18?!!! Hon, you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't go making any commitments to that ass!! There will be other boyfriends.