I have a girlfriend and we are both in love. She moved here from out of state to be closer to me and brought her kids with. She is still married, separated, but has not yet filed for divorce. I agreed to help her out financially and pay for her daughters private school tution and help her out financially as well, thus that is when she moved her family to my State.
People keep telling me I am being used. However, I don't see it that way because if she was my wife and my kids it would not be an issue. Even if I am being used, I don't care as long as I am happy with her all is well. My only fear is that I am being used and cannot get from her the love and attention I am looking for.
Payment for the tution is due this week, should I pay, not pay, ask for more from her, etc. What should I do? If I do not pay, she will leave me.
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15-09-09, 11:56 PM #1
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Is it wrong to pay for girlfriends childs tuition
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16-09-09, 12:18 AM #2
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And you wonder why they say she is using you?
Originally Posted by joejoe3
..::.*Love is giving someone the ability to break your heart but trusting them not to*.::..
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16-09-09, 01:47 AM #3
little person, big mouth
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Sorry, but you are an utter idiot.
Yes, you're being used- if you choose to pull that blanket over your eyes- fine.
Should you pay? HELL YES! Let me explain why.
Because you "love" her so you need her, she will leave if you don't pay... so that only leaves you with the option TO pay. Not to mention that you truely do not believe you are being used, so why the hell not!?
A few things to note:
-you love her- she doesn't love you... she loves your financial support of her children- you said so yourself she's gone if you don't pay- that ain't love JOEDOE.
-oh yeah, if any of you read his previous thread- she's also cheating on him!
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16-09-09, 01:50 AM #4
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You pay when you adopt them. That is all.
Spammer Spanker
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16-09-09, 09:55 AM #5
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Yes, you're both in love:
You're in love with her, and she's in love with your wallet.
Run away....
Run away.......!
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16-09-09, 10:03 AM #6
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Send the invoice to her husband
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
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17-09-09, 02:16 AM #7
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Its nothing but a blackmail on the part of your GF.If she asks for it out of need then it is acceptable but when it is to the level of leaving you then let her go and dont pay for it.
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17-09-09, 04:36 AM #8
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They are her kids not yours, it's her husbands and her responsibility to pay for the kids education. From what you've said she's using you, plus she's still married (although separated) meaning she could easily go back or reconciling with her husband and leaving you hurt and out of money that you paid for the kids tuition.
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17-09-09, 01:13 PM #9
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She will use you til the money dries up, and then she will go back to her husband once they make up.
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world
-Lily Tomlin
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17-09-09, 03:15 PM #10
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Only pay if you get to claim that tuition as a tax-deduction. If you can't, then don't.
Wait, I bet SHE wants to claim it. No doubt you are paying her, and then she pays the tuition. Sweet. This gal has you all figured out.
Yes, you are being taken for a ride.Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
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17-09-09, 03:23 PM #11
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Sometimes poeple are so shrouded in ignorance that I can't feel sorry for them.
"What you really fear is inside yourself. You fear your own power.
You fear your own anger, the drive to do great and terrible things."
The Warmonger
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17-09-09, 03:37 PM #12
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But he can't let the kids suffer!!!
When I have kids I'll also come to see JoeDon't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
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17-09-09, 04:33 PM #13
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You know there can be a what if to this..
What if she really does love him, and does want to stay with him and really get a divorce with her current husband.
What he should do is talk to her, and try to find out somehow if she truly does love him or not, otherwise your just jumping to conclusions that possibly aint even true
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17-09-09, 09:44 PM #14
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Yeah leave the kids alone not your business, nothing worse then a 3rd party surrogate father who loves the kids when mom is putting out, then dumps them when mom moves on.
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17-09-09, 11:02 PM #15
atada a mis pies.
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only if you're an idiot, will you pay that kids tuition.
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
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