What can you do if you don't trust your boyfriend completely?

[Miss_Navi]

I'm starting to really love my boyfriend, but I am beginning to trust him less. However, I'm not aware of any particular reason to why this is... I used to trust him sooo much.

Recently he has gotten less predictable with work here and there (he's with an agency who send him places to work), but something just won't let me stop thinking about him and wondering what he is up to.

He has never betrayed me as far as I know but I know he is very flirty with other girls and sometimes that does wind me up. But he reasures me all the time about how much he loves me and I'm the only one for him.

I just feel like I am going nuts about him, I feel like I could become too clingy that he will swipe me away and disrespect me.
In the past I have been very curious about his previous girlfriends, and although they arn't the prettiest girls in the world, I still think he has had amazing times with them and I get insecure about whether I'm just as good for him.
We have now been together for just over a year and it has been a bumpy journey, especially on my part due to insecurity reasons I think, but all in all he did not throw me away and I am beginning to really love him, but at the same time I am worried there are still things about him, his friends or his past that I do not know about.

[FullofSighs]

Well try asking him about his past, things you wanna know. It might help reassure yourself. And sometimes companies will let the employee take someone with them. So see if you can go with him on one of his journeys see how it is. But after a year and you he has never cheated on you that you know of i really doubt that he has or will cheat on you. usually things like that get back to you one way or another. But it's mostly on your part, with me i trust people until they prove to me that they can not be trusted.

[Miss_Navi]

But the things I really want to know, are stuff about his previous girlfriends and I don't wish to pry... bringing his past girlfriends up could make the situation worse.
I feel that maybe the reason could be because I am loving him more which makes me vulnerable and more likely to get heart broken

[girl68]

Don't pry into his past I have done such and it didn't help not one bit. Made it much worse in fact. You're right not to ask.

So basically this is all only your problem. You're insecure. He's done nothing wrong (except maybe being too much of a flirt).

I am also insecure, I have absolutely no clue how to fix it. I get all the reassuance in the world and it hasn't helped me at all. Not sure what the hell I'm supposed to do about it. But I do keep it to myself mostly.

I have no advice for you but I will tell you that you are not alone.

[Miss_Navi]

girl68 I love your bluntness... yes it is just my problems, however when I am not in the know about my boyfriend, i worry...

It's good to know I'm not the only one, however I wish I could solve these feelings. They are almost like jealousy... but what of? If there is no other girl involved, then I am jealous of thin air but I can't help feeling it.

[girl68]

DON'T WORRY.

The more you talk the more I think "yep, feel just like she does". I know, I really do. But with some good 'ol self talk I tell myself this: I'm sure he liked all those other girls, and had his share of fun (only god knows how much fun- dare I ever ask, we should NEVER know). And I'm sure these were great girls... but SO AM I- dammit! I'm a great catch, I love him more than anything, a guy would be lucky to be with me. I have had "fun" with other boys, he looks past it, so can I.

Sometimes I wonder well he's had sex in a car, and I haven't "I'm jealous". It's shit like this I'm sure you worry about, as do I but again. I'm a great girl, I'm also great in the sack. And he's mine now, and we have great sex, maybe one day he'll screw me in the car.

Navi, it seems lame- but I just talk all this shit in my head. It's crazy, and silly. But it helps. It doesn't mean I still don't get crazy jealous, upset or my mind doesn't wander... 'cause it does but this "talking" helps me deal with this.

*He's with you, if he wanted another girl- he'd go out and get her* So long as I know that, and try my best to believe it, I believe that I'm helping myself.

And yes, you're not alone but you are also a *leeeetle bit crazy* (so am I).

[Primo]

Navi, when you fall in love you surrender a part of yourself, it makes you vulnerable. Those feelings should pass quickly, and do for most people. If they don't it can become an unhealthy part of the relationship. There's a reason some people refuse to let themselves fall in love...you're feeling a bit of it right now.

G, I'm sure you're a great catch

[girl68]

Oh primo... thanks