How can I make him only interested in me!!

[Di741111]

Hi there, I've been having a bit of a problem with my bf. We been together for 2 years, and living together right now. When we first started the relationship, I didn't care about him watching porn at all, but as time goes by, i really had feelings for him, then I became upset about him watching porn. So I told him that, then he deleted his huge collection of porn(like a folder with 200 porno videos) in front of me. I was so happy when he did that. He told me that hes not interested in any other girls but me, i believed him, and I know for sure that he loves me(he does dishes for me and take very good care of me, and our sex life is great). But every once a while, I would find him gets hard over some random boobs in a movie, or looking at a random naked girl picture online(on some forums or random porn ads). Everytime I get mad at him for these things, he always say that hes not interested in any of those girls and bla bla bla. Then last night he got hard over some random stripper in the movie we were watching, i asked him to tell me the truth that how he feels about other naked woman, he told me he thinks they are yummy, then apologize to me, and told me that it's not that big of a deal as I think it is, and that he thinks im the prettiest sexiest thing bla bla bla. I don't know why he gets excited over other girls! I'm very good looking, a lot other guys would try to flurt with me when I'm outside, and Im down for anything in bed with him, we have great sex every single time! I dont understand what else he wants, why am I not enough for him! I don't even know what can I do to make him only interested in me.

[CocoChanel]

Situations like this can really hurt the self esteem of a woman. I don't have this problem with my fiancee but trust me I know how you feel. No matter how pretty you are there are just some men who can't control that part of them. It's so hard to find one that can. That doesn't get turned on by that little shet.

[Di741111]

He told me it's just his penis, he wasn't thinking anything when he got hard. but his brain controls his penis, how can he get hard without thinking about anything. I respect that he doesn't watch porn anymore for me, but these little random things just hurts.

[chump4u]

Nor do you need to do anything.

It's perfectly natural for a healthy man to become excited when he sees a good-looking female. You'd need to worry if your boyfriend didn't react the way he does.

Your boyfriend doesn't have a lot of control over his erections. When he sees "random boobs in a movie" or "some random stripper in (a) movie" his body and brain chemistry take over and dictate what happens. Believe it or...well, just believe it: a guy has no more conscious control over his erections than he has over his digestion. His body does its own thing, no matter what his mind says. Every guy I've ever met (and myself above all) has a story or two about getting an erection that was embarrassingly beyond his control. (Imagine a guy meeting his girl's super-foxy mother for the first time, and...well...imagine.)

Your boyfriend doesn't have control over his erections, but he has control over what he does with them. From what you've written, it seems that he's controlling that part very well. He's not cheating on you physically or emotionally.

Don't worry, be happy. Everything's just fine.

[CocoChanel]

He may not have control over his erections but I know men who have healthy relationships, healthy sex lives but have sex control. Little things like that doesn't make their peewee jump. I'm not saying that your boyfriend is abnormal @Di. It's very common amongst the male pop.

You don't need to upgrade yourself or do anything at all. Some men just can't help themselves. Sad isn't it? LOL

[Di741111]

Well, thanks chump4u
Once I asked him what would he feel if I got horny over a naked guy in a movie (thats not likely to happen cuz they always show boobs instead of dicks in the movies), he kinda felt how I feel, so he promised to try to control his erections, but this is still happening from time to time.
I know this is totally normal for guys, and he is doing a lot better than a lot other guys, it just hurts that he told me he only gets boner for me, but the next day he would get a boner for some random girl that he doesn't even know.
Am I over reacting? if i am, how can I get over this?

[Di741111]

Some men just can't help themselves. Sad isn't it? LOL

It's so unfair that i have to feel like this, not him.

[Chupacabras]

Grow up. Erections are an involuntary reflex of the visual male animal. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll quit making your guy feel like crap for something he can't control.

[doppelgaenger]

How would you feel if he checked your pussy to make sure you weren't wet every time you saw a guy?

[kms]

So... you don't get hot and bothered occasionally, for no reason, or for seeing something that turned you on? It happens to everyone - it's a biological response that we don't have any control over. The only difference here is that for males, their response is more visible than it is for females. You can see if a guy is turned on; you can't see it when a female is.

We cannot control what turns us on, but we can control whether or not we choose to act on it. You are being very controlling by trying force him to stop something beyond his control. Loosen up, lighten up - he's in a relationship with you, not with all these other random people. He destroyed his porn for you; he seems to be very sincere. Give him a break and let him be human.

[chump4u]

Well, thanks chump4u
Once I asked him what would he feel if I got horny over a naked guy in a movie (thats not likely to happen cuz they always show boobs instead of dicks in the movies), he kinda felt how I feel, so he promised to try to control his erections, but this is still happening from time to time.
I know this is totally normal for guys, and he is doing a lot better than a lot other guys, it just hurts that he told me he only gets boner for me, but the next day he would get a boner for some random girl that he doesn't even know.
Am I over reacting? if i am, how can I get over this?

Yes, you're over-reacting. Your boyfriend is doing nothing to show you any disrespect. On the contrary, by throwing away his porn videos and trying to control natural reflexes he really can't control, he's showing you more respect and deference than a Hell of a lot of guys would do. You ought to be proud of him instead of putting him down.

As for how you can "get over this," why don't you take his statement that "he only gets boner for me" to mean that whenever he thinks of sex (not just has a reflexive reaction to some random scene) you are the one he's thinking of. That is, recognize that when his libido hands him an erection it's a good thing-- because you're going to get lucky tonight.

[IndiReloaded]

Grow up. Erections are an involuntary reflex of the visual male animal. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll quit making your guy feel like crap for something he can't control.

Times two. You are being silly. Listen to Chump as well.

[valhensing]

Well, thanks chump4u
Once I asked him what would he feel if I got horny over a naked guy in a movie (thats not likely to happen cuz they always show boobs instead of dicks in the movies), he kinda felt how I feel, so he promised to try to control his erections, but this is still happening from time to time.
I know this is totally normal for guys, and he is doing a lot better than a lot other guys, it just hurts that he told me he only gets boner for me, but the next day he would get a boner for some random girl that he doesn't even know.
Am I over reacting? if i am, how can I get over this?

yes, you're over reacting.

[Di741111]

Thanks all you guys!
last night I took advice from all of you and told him that I'm proud of him (he used to watch porn 3 times a day, and he stopped for me since last year), and I trust him, he'll never cheat on me or anything. He seems much happier after I opened up with him. ^^

[bluesummer]

I would think a guy that didn't get horny over seeing a naked chick had issues. I'm a woman, and I get horny over seeing a hot, even half naked man. This doesn't mean I want to screw him or would ever hurt my man.

I found a spank mag in my fiance's t-shirt drawer last year. Know what I said about it? Nothing.