Confused as to what happened

[shattered_rose]

I am a long time follower of this forum, but not much of a poster type. But now I find myself needing advice.
Ok here's the story.. I have been engaged to a man for almost 4 years. We met online in a video game and A year after we met, I moved 3 states to be with him. I left behind my friends, my family, a almost paid for house, ect. for this man.

We went through so much drama to be together. I am older than he is by almost 15 years. I am now 40 and he just turned 25.
All of my friends were against me moving saying he would break my heart. But I felt so sure he was THE ONE. We went through my messy divorce and custody fight. (no I did not leave my husband for him, I was already long separated from him for a few years).
My children love this man and have been calling him "dad" for 2 years.

A few weeks ago, he started getting very distant, and going out and staying out all night, which is very unlike him, he's always been a stay at home type. So finally i asked him what was wrong, and he told me that he doesn't feel like I am the one for him.
He says that his heart tells him that he loves me, but his head tells him that something feels wrong being with me, that he is just not sure anymore.

So he ended it with me. I am devastated. I saw no signs at all that he was unhappy. It all happened very fast.
Now he guards his cell phone like it is gold, goes outside to talk, and texts this girl around the clock... he swear they are not sleeping together, and when i called her and asked her who she was she swears they are just friends.. but I just don't know.
My gut tells me otherwise...
My children and myself are devastated. I have cried so many tears over this man. I love him so much and don;t understand why he don't want me no more.
I am a good woman over all i think. I cook, I keep a clean home, I dont smoke or do drink or do drugs, I have a job, and I have given him all the sex he could ever want.
I am not perfect by no means but still.. in the grand scheme of things, i am a good person over all.
See and thats the other thing, since he broke up with me, he has been more sexually interested in me than he ever was.
We have sex more than we did all of last year. What... the.. f*ck?
I do NOT understand any of this.. how can he still obviously WANT me but not want to be with me???
I don;t understand.
I want him back so bad This is killing me! Is there any chance I can win him back? what do i do?
Thanks!

[cmacattack1]

I hate being the one to point out that the increase in sex is not a good sign. As awesome as you might think. He is currently focusing his attention elsewhere with other girls, regardless of what he does with them, but still gets to have you for sex when he gets home. A common term would be to "have his cake and eat it too."

Think about it. He ended it with you and yet he still gets to have sex with you? What about that makes sense to you?

You are a person that has dropped everything for this guy and bent over backwards to be with him and he just lost his interest unfortunately. You shouldn't have to drop what you are doing and change your life around for somebody, no matter how much you thought he was "the one". Because in reality there is more than one "one" out there for us, and I just feel like you are clawing and fighting for this investment you put in this person.

A relationship should never be put over yourself. You should never have to rearrange and revolve your life around somebody, no matter how much you care about them. Because this situation can happen where even with your 100 percent, it still might not be enough. And what's left after it's broken?

I know we are taught if something really matters to us, we should fight for it with everything we got. But anything you do right now is just going to push him far away. Giving into his demands of sex won't get you anywhere. Letting him stick around won't either. You have to kick him out of the house and focus on getting your life back on track without him. Because I don't think he really cares about the effort you have put in for him when he is fooling around with other girls. You need some time apart to get your priorities in line, and he needs time apart without you in his life to realize how much he cares (or doesn't care). That's the only remedy for the situation.