does she like me?

[justcheckin]

Ok guys so I have been trying to figure out for the past few days if this girl actually likes me, or is just being SUPER nice to me. We have class together, always sit beside each other. We talk a lot between classes and what not. Always make her laugh. She texted me the other night about something trivial and we keep talkin for like 3 hours after that. we arranged to meet up yesterday to study for our class. Meet up, studied a bit, but spent most of the time really just joking about our class and just small talk. She txted me randomly that night about needing help with her roommates phone, keep the convo going until I ****ed a joke up.. and killed the convo Like I didn't say anything awkward, I just said something she didnt get at first, so It kinda killed the mood. So now im back to thinking I am just a "good friend" lol. Do I think too much about this stuff? I mean She is always messin with her hair around me.. but ppl do that anyways right? Can I really consider that a sign? What do you think? What are some signs to tell if a girl is into you, or "just being nice"?

[MerryH]

What are some signs to tell if a girl is into you, or "just being nice"?

Here's the easiest way to tell if a girl is into you:

When you ask her out on a date, and she says "yes". Ask her out!

[justcheckin]

I have.... twice.

Once was for dinner, where she literally just ate (she was serious, she said she just ate but I should ask her again sometime), and once for food at school after class, but she said it was too early to eat lunch (in her defense it was 10 am lol). So I dont really want to look at that as any kind of sign/signal.

So I mean, what else is there to kinda give me a nudge that she is interested? Would I know if she WANSNT interested? I mean I am a pretty smart guy, I feel like I would know by now if she was just being nice to me.... But I am just not sure because this girl I actually like (like, could see a future with like, not just crush).

If this was a girl a met at a bar I wouldnt even think twice about anything.... but this one is special to me I don't want to ruin it by scaring her away too early.

[kitkitkitty]

ask her to come over some time to yours to watch a coupla movies and buy some chocolates. i think getting pizza kinda says 'hanging out as friends' but chocolate hints at bf/ gf sharing a box, if you get what i mean.

[justcheckin]

but that's so obvious what I want haha I dont want her to feel pressured or like I am trying to rush things. because honestly I am comfortable at the pace we are going and am not trying to move it too much faster. However, I just want to try to figure out if its even worth my time before I get too attached, that way I can save my self the heart ache and trouble down the road.... you know what I mean?

[kitkitkitty]

i know what you mean. well, you either ask her outright if she'll go out with you. or do the dvd plan, go to kiss her and you'll soon find out.

[justcheckin]

I would know if she was not interested in my that way though right? I mean, obviously I will only know if I try it, but I mean, I dont want to even TRY if she is just lookin at me like a friend... u know? I a) dont wnat the rejection and b) dont want to have to deal with the awkwardness afterwords (we will be in the same classes for a few years in school).

so kitty, I assume you are a lady. How can I know the difference in "like as friend only" and "would like to potentially see where this goes"?

[kitkitkitty]

i am a lady indeed and i think that women can send off weird signals to guys and expect them to just work it out... to be fair guys do it too. so the only real way to find out is to ask her outright, maybe after a lengthy and good msn convo so you don't get the awkwardness straight afterwards. if you know her friends you could ask them if you really want to. as for the rejection thing, we all have to go through it at some point so if it doesn't end well it's not the end of the world, ok? but i can see why you wouldn't wana experience it anyway.

[justcheckin]

yeah that's why I'm so cautions right now... I know girls give weird signals haha. Thats what I am worried too. I Feel like that since I like her I am looking for stuff to make me THINK she likes me. Would a girl "study" with a guy for like 3 hours... and just joke around basically the whole time, laugh, etc... instead of actually doing work? Do girls that are friends with guys (just friends) text guys about random stuff for 3 hours in a row? What if I am the one that is keeping hte conversation going? is that ok???

[kitkitkitty]

i personally would use those things as excuses to get talking to a guy i was interested in, get to know him better. do you know if she normally jumps into relationships, or is she the more reserved type when it comes to being with a guy? how old are you both by the way?

[justcheckin]

thank you for listening to my problems btw, I really appreciate it... I just want to say that up front.

I am 23 and she is 20. We are in the same classes/grade in college because I took a few years off (for money and other reasons). She is very reserved from what I have gotten from her (she says she was sheltered as a kid, she is religious, good giril, etc). Seems to be very close with her "girl" friends. She is very close to her best friend/roommate (girl), but I have not talked to her ONCE, so I don't think I will ever "ask her friend" anything lol, that would be weird I think. (and somewhat creepy). Dunno if she has a lot of guy friends... I can guess with some certainty that she does not have very many "close" guy friends from what I can tell either.

Funny thing is that it was getting late last night and we were getting ready to pack up so we put all our books up but keep talkin for like half an hour. During this 30 min her roommate keep textin her about dinner, and she keep actin' like it was bothering her... not that she is bothered by her (they are best friends) but like her friend keep interrupting her, you know what I mean? Do you think that is a good sign? Like almost that I was aware she keep getting texted ever 3 min and wanted me to be aware it was her roommate. why else would she go through all the trouble to explain to me why she keep textin her?

BTW, was this a good move:

we were walkin through the library to go find a table to study at when I ran into a old girl I knew from back home (olddddd friends). She got up when she saw me and immediatly ran for a hug. I hugged her back. Said hello, talked to her for a min and then I introduced her to my new friend. Talked a little more, she gave me a hug and a "luv you" fake kiss/embrace and we went on our way. I explained to her who she was. bad move on my part? I didnt know she would be so happy to see me!

[kitkitkitty]

you're welcome and with the girl in the library, you couldn't really have done much about it right? and it's always better to be polite so i don't see anything wrong with what happened. and maybe next time you're walking just the 2 of you, go to grab her hand. if she grabs back you'll know she's interested. if not, just say sorry for knocking her hand. you know the best way to go about it isn't to beat around the bush, you'll feel so much better once you've made a move. and tell me how it goes

[justcheckin]

well I just had class with her.... and everythign was going FINE until this random girl sat between us and the conversation stopped dead in its tracks (strict class for talking anyways, it was like right as class started almost) So now im just REALLY anxious right now because I feel like I didnt get to talk enough lol. I am debating to txt her and be like "so I just gotta know, do you wana go do something ever, like not now I know ur busy but just in general some time". What do you think? is that a bad idea?

[MerryH]

I think it's a bad idea. What you typed there kind of makes you sound flaky with just a hint of desperation. This is also a bad idea because she could be like "yeah sure, sometime, maybe we can do something" and then you'll still be left with no answers.

You've got to get over this fear of being rejected. If she's not into you, the only thing that will make your friendship awkward is if YOU'RE awkward about it. When you ask her out, ask her about a definite day, and for a definite activity, ie "Hey, are you doing anything Friday night? Do you want to grab some coffee with me?" If she's interested in you, she'll either say Yes right away, or she'll say something like "Friday isn't good for me, but what about Saturday?" If she says No and doesn't offer any other possibilities, then she's most likely not into you that way. If that's the case, smile, act confident, and just say "That's cool. I'll see you in class on Monday. Have a good weekend! " Then go on as if nothing happened. It's not the end of the world if a girls rejects you. It doesn't even have to mean the friendship is over. Good luck!

[kitkitkitty]

yeah i think you're old enough that it'd sound a lot better coming straight from you. and i agree, you'd gotta accept that everyone gets knocked down and you may not even get touched. but you've gotta ask her.