Good-bye Graduate

[ClumsyPirate]

So, most teenage relationships are pointless, short things that have no meaning, and usually end with the two people hating each other. Well, I'm 15 and I don't see the reason for that. 2 years ago, when I started high school, I met the most beautiful boy, but, being only 13 years old, I decided that he would be the object of my first high school crush. Unfortunately, as I realise now, that was not such a good idea.

He's two years older than me, and is graduating high school in six days. Of those six days, I will only get to see him for one of them. When I first started "liking" him, I didn't stop to think that maybe he wouldn't be around for much longer, and now that he's finally leaving, I'm not ready to let go.

My first two years of high school were spent pursuing him, with very little success. In fact, I went backwards in most ways. I was stupid, and stubborn, and too young to deal with the situation sensibly. I was too wrapped up in how perfect I thought he was.

As we both play piano, are in the school choir and all of the ensembles, we spent a lot of time together doing what we love most- playing music. After the first two years going disastrously, and ending with him possibly thinking that I was a "stalker", I realised the errors of my ways. So, in year 10, which I realised would be my final year with him unless I made something happen, I decided to be sensible.

For the first half of this year, we spend our time in the music room after school practicing together, talking about music, and him (being absolutely amazing with his talent) teaching me everything he knew. He was the choir accompanist for our school, and I was training to replace him, because he was nearly finished school. This involved him helping me a lot, and we became close.

Now, it's nearly the end of the year, and I truly believe that he has taught me everything he knows. But during this time, we've done more than learn. We've joked around, had some fun, we've nearly kissed (and if it had not been for me ruining the moment, and for the fact that his friends we watching, I'm certain that we would have), we've argued and ignored each other, and we've stood up for each other when no-one else understood what we were feeling.

I remember at the start of year 10, he told me that it was going to be the best year of my school life. He was right, but I'm terrified of how it's going to end. I fear that I'm never going to see him again after he graduates, or, even worse, I won't even get a good-bye. I need something to say to him that will let him know how much I appreciate him but I don't even know where to begin.

I'm not trying to tell him that I "like" him. He already knows that. There's no point in mentioning it. If I was going to say something like that, I'd at least tell him that I love him. Because I do. I need something to say that will make him know that I'm thankful for everything he's ever done for me, and how much I'm going to miss him.

I feel like even though we've known each other for years, we've only really understood each other for the last 6-7 months. He's so kind and so beautiful. He's not like any other person I've ever met before. And he actually understands me, which is a big deal for me. We have conversations that make other people look at us like we're insane, or speaking another language, but we understand each other completely, and I'm so scared that if he leaves, I'll lose that one person that truly understands me.

We're going on a trip to Dreamworld as a sort of end of year break-up for the school music groups, and this may be the last time I ever see him. So, keeping in mind that this needs to be something that I would be willing to say to him in front of all of his year 12 friends, what should I say to him?


Sorry for the rant, but I really need advice. Thanks.

[carl1222]

Congratulate him on his graduation, tell him you hope he has a great summer, and wish him well at uni this fall. You seem to have a good understanding of what is likely to happen as he enters a whole new stage of his life.

The good news is that with him not being around any more, the pain of not being with him will fade over time ... and you WILL find someone new.

We never forget our first love, but we rarely end up together.

Good luck.

Carl.