Not sure if now is the right time?

[toto]

Hi guys,

Ive posted on the dumping talk before but this is different. Ive been dating this girl for one date and a night out, but not sure if its what i want right now? Ive gone through a break up and been single for two months. Its been hard cos its was my first serious relationship and had been living together. When we broke up i read the forums and took advice to get out there again and to take advantage of my situation, and so i have been!

My problem now is that ive meet another girl who is what im looking for in a person but i still find my self, when im feeling down, thinking of my previous girlfriend! I feel bad and dont know why i keep thinking this way about my ex. when im feeling good i know breaking up was right looking back but i so miss what we had and having not seen her since. Has anyone gone throught something similar?

I know is early days with this other girl and we are still getting to know each other but find that i might not be as excited as a should be.....?

[sleepy]

Hi guys,

Ive posted on the dumping talk before but this is different. Ive been dating this girl for one date and a night out, but not sure if its what i want right now? Ive gone through a break up and been single for two months. Its been hard cos its was my first serious relationship and had been living together. When we broke up i read the forums and took advice to get out there again and to take advantage of my situation, and so i have been!

it is tough after a serious break-up. i would say keep dating anyway - she is not going to be exactly like your last girl, but that it a good thing. this girl may not be right for you either, so keep looking around - you're free! meet as many girls as you can, and keep doing things to make yourself feel stronger.

My problem now is that ive meet another girl who is what im looking for in a person but i still find my self, when im feeling down, thinking of my previous girlfriend! I feel bad and dont know why i keep thinking this way about my ex. when im feeling good i know breaking up was right looking back but i so miss what we had and having not seen her since. Has anyone gone throught something similar?

definitely - my ex was so great and so witty. for a long time i wondered what he would say about any given movie or anecdote. it's just going to take time. lame, hey? one thing that helped me though was to know what i missed about him, and work on improving that aspect in myself.

don't contact her, though. at all. it's counter-productive.

I know is early days with this other girl and we are still getting to know each other but find that i might not be as excited as a should be.....?

yeah, i dig that. she may not be the right one, or that excitement may not come for some time. hang in there, and keep dating. good luck!

[DownWithLove]

Take your time with the new girl. Don't jump into it. Only see her once in a while. Send her a card (via snail mail) to let her know that you had a good time when you went out. That will make her feel good, fill the void of not getting your attention every day, and still let her know you are interested. You will really stand out to her as being someone awesome and it will give you time. In your head, keep your distance with the new girl and don't call her or ask her out every time you want to. Just say you had fun on a card to keep her in the ring with you.

I did this. Eventually, when I found the right guy I begant to miss him and really want to be with him. The cards made let him know that I was interested even when I was "busy" much of the time. Don't rush. Give yourself time. Then, when you are ready you will be able to give someone special what they deserve. An enthusiastic you!

P.S. I'm not a big card sender. In fact, the only time I sent cards was when started dating again. I read to do it somewhere. It worked great! In this day and age, it really makes someone feel good without being commital. I would just right, "I had a fun Friday. Thanks!" or write a joke in it. Don't get mushy. You are just sending it to a friend.

[toto]

Im more of a text message guy myself, and we are taking it slow with the movies this week and a date last week....though she stayed at mine. I have loads of work on so no money or time to she her ofter. Although Ive thought of a night at mine, cooking for her?
Anyway back to the issue
I am trying to get to know this new girl and put everything in to it and enjoy being with her, but i still have feelings for my ex. I know thats normal now but dont want it to destroy new flames.
Whats strange is that when i think of my ex, yea i miss her and what we had, but i also think of what was wrong with our relationship and realise im better off without her but i still cant look forward to moving on?....its hard to explain.

Anyone else felt like this?

[Jenrick285]

Sure...
Ever been in an accident on the way home from work, and then day after day you get kinda dreadful when you get around there again? I think it's normal to go through the motions of feeling up... down.. up.. down.. down..down..up..up.. yeah like that.
I went through that too... I think you'll have feelings for her for your ex for a while, but it will eventually lax...
With this new chick, though, I think other people are right, and that you shouldn't quite rush into things with her... remember relax and have fun learning about this person but don't rush yourself... You know not every girl we meet turns out to be a romantic thing. Might be you just need some time letting her in, or perhaps she might be one of those great friends you'll treasure for years to come... or she might be a winter fling.. Life is odd like that...
Point is, stop rushing yourself, you'll know when you're good and ready to let someone in.

[toto]

thanks, its good to know im not just on a major downer. I have been thinking of this other girl in a relationship way because i like being in a relationship. But i think it would be good for me to be single....not that i want to be single. Already i feel tied down (a bit strong a word), to this new girl so im not really single anymore. I think i should take it slow and play it out over christmas to see how things go!