Could it have to do with drugs?

[ashley89]

Ok so me and my boyfriend broke up you know the story, if not you can look up my threads. ANYWAYS the more I have been reflecting back on this relationship, I'm starting to see the things about him that made me unhappy, but because I loved him so much I just let it slide or overlooked it. but a couple of people, including his sister and one of his old friends, suggested that maybe drugs had something to do with his sudden odd behavior. to be honest, this was one of the first things I thought of when he 1st told me he didn't love me out of nowhere. now, it could have been part of my initial denial, but let me give you some backstory here.

So my boyfriend is now 22 (going to be 23 in March) and a few years ago after this girl left him, he got into drugs. bad things, acid, coke, ecstacy, etc. he claims he started to experiment with them, but then somehow got roped into doing coke alot and actually sold it for awhile, until he decided he didn't wanna be involved in that. he was also what I would consider an alcoholic when I 1st met him, he started drinking around 2 pm when he got out of work and would drink before work at 7 in the morning. when we 1st started dating he stopped drinking like that, he'd only do it socially. but the whole sketchy coke dealer past thing always kinda bothered me. and I mean, he never went to rehab or anything, so there is so much more of a chance that he could pick up his ways of the past.

His friends are really bad influences. All of them dropped out of school, don't really have steady jobs, and they're in their mid 20s now. My boyfriend didn't hang out with them until about 6-7 months into our relationship, and now looking back, I see that he changed a TON once he started getting back with them. He would never smoke weed, but once he started hanging out with them, he started up... now smokes everyday, before work, after work, etc. He also smoked cigarettes casually, but once he got back with them went through about a half pack or more a day.

The reason I keep thinking about the drug thing is because of how he suddenly changed, almost within a couple of weeks to a month. He sleeps ALL THE TIME. he works 7-2 and then takes long naps when he gets home... every single day. It's not like his job is so demanding that he needs to sleep, and then he'll go to bed early too! He would also have sudden mood swings... one second be ok, then suddenly snap and get mad about something so stupid, or be rude to me for really no reason. He stopped wanting to have sex so much... I mean, I know sex slows down over time, but over the last month or so he really acted like he didn't want to do anything at all. He became more anti-social, wanted to only hang with his few close friends, anytime we went out to a bar or someplace social with people, he acted annoyed and wanted to just sit with me. Idk... it's all starting to make me think. And he has been hanging around with those people alot, once a few months ago when I was with them they did coke (not him but we were there when it happened) and a few of them did ecstacy just on New Year's... I don't know man... or am I just fooling myself? The sudden personality change, the insensitivity to feelings...

[red_sparrow]

i worry about that, too.

my BF smokes pot on a daily basis as well because his room-mate is a perpetual stoner. i'm not sure what to think sometimes. He's smoked before we met up, too. I hope that my situation doesn't have bad forebodings like yours did, but its looking like the case. He too has had problems with substance abuse that he's gotten over. Pot is the only drug he does now.. along with alcohol. He drinks as soon as he gets home from work, too. It is hard when you love someone to understand that their reality is not yours..

be proud of yourself with ending it with him! but if things got that bad, i guess you would have had no other choice. its good that now you can make room and time for a mentally healthy individual! the constant sleeping was probably lethargy from the pot. i just feel horrible because i too smoke weed with him, and I drink with him, too. we won't always get high when we go out on dates, but when we are hanging out at his house we will.

[ashley89]

yeah that kind of lifestyle just isn't something I'm a big part of... I think he uses it to escape from the reality of things, which isn't good. I'm not sure if he really is into other drugs but the weird change in behavior makes me think he might be... whatever, I guess it's not my problem anymore

[SelflessnHumble]

The thing is: it wasn't your problem when you were together.
He chooses to do this IF this is the case.
Nothing in life is too much to handle that:

-suicide
-drugs
-abnormal behavior (like cutting) is the "only" way to deal...I find that mentally weak people resort to this crap.

Get high on life. Not the above.
If he can't stop doing it for himself: he won't stop for anyone else no matter the "love."