I feel really stupid. Who am I? What am I? What have I ever done good?
I've had been in love relationships 3 times...and this time I got myself in a situation I never imagined..= I can't give up this guy.
If I have to give him up, the only way is to have some kind of medicine that erase all the memories between us.

I lost my faith, I lost my family, I lost myself...for this person I ever love. I planned...to get marry in Vegas the coming December and he agreed. As obvious as that, I am devoted to this guy and have decided to follow him through the rest of my life. I can't lose him...he is my best friend, life advicer and more importantly, my lover-one and only.
I thought he'd love me as much as I do, and there is "no way" we can ever be apart. I thought the things I gave out, what I gave up for him, would return in only one thing I'd ever want, his love.
He doesn't like my stupidity, so do I? Is not something I wanted, nor anyone would.
He said he loved me, but I know he knows deeply that without me is just another day.
I have too much hope, too much love, way too much that is not balancing out. When he told me that we should separate for a while, I had one thought, for once, to jump off that bridge just beside us in front of him, so he'll never forget me. Who loved him so much that would give up every single thing in her life just for him. And after death, if here is spirit or ghost or devil, I would become one and follow him eternally. To remind him i am always, always, always with him and as I promised before, I'll never ever leave him. Love til I hate, hate til I die. Have I gone insane? I hate myself like this but I can't help it. My heart is bleeding.