Hot and then cold...what the HELL is going on!?

[jAMESYmC]

Hey there.....another relationship drama for you all to read about and coment on...I appreciate all your honest advice...som please dont hold back!

Met this guy called Daniel awhile ago...our first date was a coffee and we got on SO well...I mean like we where best mates...was one of the best dates I have ever had. The day after he was headind out and asked me to join him after work, which I did and again we got on SO well...so well inface I brought him to a house party with my friends and they where all getting on so well...it just seemed amazing! The day after we did the same thing and he came out and met me then another house party with friends...everything was going so well. He was cute, really into me, my firends liked him, we had so much in commen...felt perfect! We spent everyday of that week together, was so good!

HOWEVER...I was going to Ibiza for two weeks the week after we met, but since I liked him I told him that we can be exclusive...and that obviously I wouldnt want no1 else! I texted him everyday, phoned him and things where ok until the 2nd week. He started getting paranoid and telling me he didnt know how he felt and that he just needed me home and he would be ok...obviously this put a dampner on my holiday. He also phoned and got angry when he was drunk over a few silly things...In put it down to paranoia...it was a wierd situation.

He collected me from the airport and stayed in my house for a few hours after...left and dumped me by TEXT an hour after! I was SO hurt...then he went back and fourth telling me that he was just scared and felt like we where starting again from the beginning after not seeing each other for two whole weeks. He told me he wanted me, the next day he said he wasnt fussed, then text me that night saying sorry, he was just so scared of a relationship. Then kept on me for a week after saying he couldnt do without me and that he was miserable.

He stated that he has never had a relationship before, and it scared him as he never knew what to expect. He felt he wasnt good enough and his course was taking him away in four monthes for six monthes and he wouldnt be home that whole time and was worried about that situation...even though I stated we would sort it when it happened as we where so good together.

Regardless I met him after, even though he was ascared to. I told him I needed to talk in person and not overe the phone to see how I felt, he got paranoid stating...'what if you dont like what you see?' He came across insecure to say the least. We sorted things out and things where great again, met for coffee, he texted me telling me that he thought he loved me and was never happier in his life...missed me more than ever...couldnt stop smiling etc...had dinner on fri and things just seemed diff again, from me this time. Went back to my house and he didnt want to have sex even though we where both wanting to...he stated before that sex scared him...which i respected but he didnt want to talk much about it.

The day after in work my friends where happy we where together...but I just didnt seem fussed. Think I lost the trust tbh. Even though I got drunk and told him that I did think I loved him too...

That sunday...he texted asking could we talk...to which he said he felt that he wasnt giving himself to me enough, and was holding something back and it wasnt fair...he said he just didnt think he wanted or could handle a relationship. I asked could we at least be friends, and he deleted me from huis facebook saying he had to do it cause it hurt to see my face. He said he was hurt, even though it was for the best and that this was a BIG deal to him and it was very hard. He stated he had uni, two jobs and i guess he had no time, plus he was leaving soon for six monthes.

My heads just pickled...I need closure of some sort...please help! He was a bit younger than me...hes 20 and I am 26...but I dont think that describes his behavious tbh...HELP!

[sadie_genie]

Seems like he doesn't want a relationship for many reasons. Not enough time, leaving for a few months, small penis insecurity (possibly) or performance anxiety, etc. Bottom line, he isn't ready for a relationship but seems like he wants to hang on to you just for the casual interactions. Maybe if things are still the same when he returns, he may be more ready for it?

[Wakeup]

He stated he had uni, two jobs and i guess he had no time, plus he was leaving soon for six monthes.

There's your closure right there. He doesn't want a long distance relationship. He wants to be free to do whom he pleases without having to answer to you. He doesn't have time to nurture a full blown relationship and he doesn't have the patience or desire to maintain and nurture a long distance union. What more do you need to know? Give yourself closure by accepting what he so candidly explained to you and get on with your life without him in it.

There is no need for anyone on this board to speculate anything because he's told you straight out.

The End.

[jAMESYmC]

My goodness such positive feedbackl lol! Maybe hes just not that into me or he is honestly just too insecure and blew a fuse so to speak with his emotions cause hes unused to them...but alas I am still alone lol!

[jAMESYmC]

He also told me that he NEVER meets up with poeople on dates as he just kisses them and leaves it at that at the most as there is no emotional attachment...

[Wakeup]

He also told me that he NEVER meets up with poeople on dates as he just kisses them and leaves it at that at the most as there is no emotional attachment...

Well there you go again. He has no emotional attachment to you so he

NEVER meets up with poeople on dates as he just kisses them and leaves it at that

You're a "people," right?

[jAMESYmC]

Yes but the point was he dated me

[Wakeup]

No he didn't he saw you ocassionally, also "dated" is a past-tense word. He started to "see" you and then discovered he didn't want to anymore. The point is you need to accept the fact that he's not wanting anything serious with you. Find someone who thinks like you, someone who also wants a relationship and stop making this guy a project you need to finish to your liking.