How do I fix things? </3

[Nichole]

Okay I have a bit of a problem. I had this guy friend Jim and we were best friends for almost two years, of which he liked me. We constantly flirted, but I always stopped it if it got taken to far. I was a senior in high school and have never had a boyfriend of first kiss. Sense I’ve never had a boyfriend he decides to "teach me how to flirt". And we got really intimate. The next night he stayed up all night and played truth or dare only without the dare and it was about sexual stuff and we told each other some now embarrassing things. I begin to like him and the next day he tells me his sister is house sitting and hes having two other guy friends over and he wants me to go spend the night over there. I lie to my parents and tell them Im going to a girl friends house. we all hang out and everyone starts going to bed and were sitting there watching tv and I grab his hand. And he starts rubbing my back and the whole nine yards. They hes "soo tired" and he wants to go to bed. And he wants me to be his "cuddle buddy". Hes my best friend, he would never hurt me, its just cuddling, why not? So we get in bed and get seddled and he say "oh im not tired anymore, I dont know what happedned blah blah" and so he leans over and kisses me. It was disgusting btw. He ate my face off and it was fast paced even though I wasnt really into the "moment" he was trying to make. So I figure its my first kiss and its just practice. Later we stop and I try to go to sleep. He wakes me up when I half asleep and starts kissing me and starts trying stuff. I said no a million times and had to push his hands away. He kept me up all night doing that. Then in the morning we stop kissing he gets up leaves the room and sends me a text, "sweet dreams!" all I could think off was how used I felt and even though I was so close to a person, i felt more alone then ever. My mom picked me up and he tried to text me like three days in a row and I didnt text him back. I was confused and I felt used. And I let him know that, we got in a bad fight and he got really mad at me and things calmed down and he told me he saw this really pretty girl at work and he was going to try and get her number. And I got really mad and we got in another fight in which at the end I told him I was sorry, i still liked him. He brushed it off. Then he again started to talk about other girls to me. And so I went on a date and I told him that when the guy kissed me it didnt feel right cause it wasnt him. And our conversation ends with he hasnt kissed anyone sense me and then he had to go to bed. and then I was trying to wait to text him cause I didnt want to annoy him and he doesnt text me back for like a week and a half. So I text him and he says hes talking to his woman. I stupidly think its me and hes teasing me because he use to do that kind of thing all the time. So I play along, oh who is she blah blah? "you know her really well" he says. Then I think I know its me for sure. Only to find out its my best friend. I tell him I love him and I want to be with him and we have a long conversation about how much I want to be with him and he seems like he might like me still and then he say " we would never work anyways and Ive been waiting my whole life to find a girl like her, shes what Ive needed in my life for a long time, friends?". then next morning I was so embarassed I told him I was drunk and I was dating someone. And he said "sure.." And I told him I was serious, and then he said "I believe you, your just telling me stuff I dont care about." and I texted him one more time the next day and said "hi". he replied, "sup girl". then I told him what I was doing then said "what about you?" and he didnt reply so I texted him " are you okay?" and he didnt replay. That was the last time I talked to him. What do I do? Please don’t tell me to move on, if we aren’t gonna date, I still want his friendship? I cant throw away two years of friendship!

[Monkey Punch]

Wow. Okayy, well all I have to say is, you two need some time apart or you just need to stop contacting him. Maybe send him a last message saying, I don't want this to ruin 2 years of friendship. Can we just be friends?. And see what he says. Depending on how he replies, you choose how to react. If he doesn't respond at all, just ignore him. You told him how you guys still want to be friends, if he feels the same he'll react accordingly, if not, just leave him alone and in time he'll come around, if he really does consider you his best friend.

To be honest though, and I don't mean to make you feel bad in any way, but it seemed like he doesn't care about you because you didn't give him what he wanted. If he really liked you and wanted to be with you, he wouldn't have done what he did when you went over. He would have taken it slow (since he knew you've never been in a relationship before) and stuck to his word and just "cuddled".

Anyway, best of luck !
Do what you think is right.

[Nichole]

I never thought of it like he didnt care about me, but now that you say that it seems kind of true. I like to hear different perspectives even if their bad because Im so wraped up in this I cant see clearly whats happening. I also thought maybe he was trying to hurt me on purpose to get back at me..Im not sure but Thank you!