Is it just sex??

[glitterbunny]

Hey,

I met this guy back in March and things were going really well, he would ring me every evening for about an hour and would text me all the time then he mentioned he might be moving home to his Dads which is a 2 hour drive from me and i found this really confusing and started to get a bit clingy to be honest and then he went on holiday for a week, when he got back it was his birthday and he had quite a few plans this week but i kept chasing him up, i ended up asking him whats wrong etc when in actual fact i knew he was just busy, it didnt satisfy me him just saying sorry he was busy, i then emailed him to say 'so if you move, whats going to happen with us?' he didnt initially reply and i had to push for an answer, no suprises really he said he didnt want to continue seeing me. About 3 days later he contacted me and we carried on seeing each other i was still pretty insecure about him moving away and deep down i wanted a relationship as i really liked him but i decided not to tell him, we carried on like this for a couple of months then he found a job near his dads and we saw each other just after he got the job and i questioned him face to face so whats going to happen now, will i see you again and he said of course and assured me he definitely wanted to see me again. He then didnt contact me for 3 weeks during the time he was moving and said he had been in hospital for a back problem he has, but during this time i really chased him up, was pretty mean to him and insulted him as i thought he had just ended things without even telling me. He then texted me letting me know he wasnt impressed but we sorted things out and he kept telling me he couldnt wait to see me. So he wants to keep things casual yet we are still in contact pretty much every day and he still wants to see me even though we are now living 2 hours apart and he forgave me for being a bunny boiling bitch lol. Ugh my head tells me its just sex but a small part of me thinks would a guy really put up with all that and drive 2 hours just for sex??? Does he actually like me but is scared of the commitment as it would be long distance? Since the '3 week break' i have been pretty good and i havent chased him up, its been pretty nice actually him having a chance to contact me first haha. But 3 days ago i decided i would tell him how i feel and i did this via email, told him how much i liked him, how i understood it would be long distance but i didnt care and i didnt care if we wouldnt be able to see each other ever so often etc etc but i haven't heard from him.... i havent contacted him either as i dont know what to say and kind of think he needs to contact me next, dont want his ego getting so big it wont fit through doors. But its driving me insane not knowing if im wasting me time even bothering to check my phone for a response and imagining he likes me or... is it just sex? But would a guy really put up with that for sex? Surely men arent that desperate? I was a nightmare lol.

[Maple1714]

Hmmm...I guess you will have to wait and see what his response is to your email telling him about your feelings. Men are strange...they are more confused than women sometimes it seems.
In the future, tell someone how you feel and what you want early on...don't be scared to be upfront.

It's hard to tell what he wants. Yes, some guys will travel 2hrs for good sex...and that's all it is to them. I had a guy travel 2,000 miles for sex...he would do all kinds of things that seemed very generous and whatever...but the bottom line was he couldn't find better sex so he kept coming back to me. Did he want to be in a committed relationship with me? No. TO this day I still don't even really know what he wanted. I too got pissed at him a couple times...once I chugged (I was 20 young!) an entire $300 bottle of wine his dad had brought him back from Italy...and then I threw it up and left the empty bottle on his front porch...lol. Our "relationship" lasted for 2 years after that. Some guys just like drama and they will put up with it. Seems that is what this guy is doing. Cut your losses and find someone else who lives in your town.

[bulrush]

If a guy really liked you for more than sex, don't you think he would contact you more? I mean, 3 weeks without contact is just rude, and indicates he really doesn't like you. His actions don't match his words. Plus, you were rude to him, clingy, and over reactive. No one is going to stay with a girl like that unless the sex is good. Not trying to be mean, but girl, you have some room for improvement.

Can patients use cell phones in hospitals? Or do the cell phones mess with other equipment? He could have texted you from his cell phone. It's not like a cell phone is the size of a sofa.

[Maple1714]

You can use a cell phone in the hospital...and if he really cared for her then he would def. be contacting her while he was in the hospital...b/c he would want emotional support.

OP - be very weary of guys who's actions do not match their words. Only take his actions into account here...and what are they telling you?

[glitterbunny]

Yeah i know, i really was a nightmare but i have been good the past 2 months and things have been a lot better and he has moved. Do you think its possible to reverse him thinking im clingy etc? Because i messaged him Tuesday telling him how i feel and havent contacted him for 3 days im thinking he would expect me to have chased him up by now and been pissed with him etc but i havent do you think maybe it will prove to him im not as insane as he thought? Or maybe he's just thinking hurrah quiet life? lol. The reason i was like that was because i was terrified he would just move and that would be that but i really did push him away. You're right thought he isnt putting in much effort, think ive build it up to be something it really isnt

[Maple1714]

Most women are crazy lol....I have been super crazy at times towards all my BF's and they still stick with me...b/c they loved/love me. The ones who ran...well they didn't really care so **** em. Forget this guy...I know it's hard, but you gotta move on and reserve your craziness for a guy who shows he cares...if that makes sense?

[lylufy]

Yep, it's just sex !
And you're a best partner with him, so he can drive 2 hour to you !
May be.
But, you can not be definite because you are scare! You love him.
So, why don't you find him, talk together seriously your emotion?
By email, I think it's hard to understand deeply.