Age gap problem

[onionseed]

Hi everyone

I need some advice - I met a girl at work who was very flirtatious with me - rubbing against me as he walks by, casually touching me, even leaning against me. She is extremely attractive, but also has a great personality and we get along great- it's like we were made for each other. Well, we started IMing each other and seeing each other outside of work, but just socially, not romantically. I took it slow because there's an age of gap of 9 years between us - I'm 26 and she's 17. I wanted to make sure she was okay with it first. Well, as time went by I began to notice that she was becoming less excited to see me. We both admitted that we were attracted to each other, but she told me that our age difference was bothering her. I told her that my attraction to her was based on her maturity as well as her looks, and she seemed to be reassured by that. She began initiating pseudo-dates, like walking in the park and such, and even began discussing kissing and sex with me. Well, I didn't have a chance to lay a hand on her before she again told me that she was really concerned about the age difference and that we should just be friends. So, that's where we are - I want the relationship to continue but she's uncomfortable with it. I told her it was OK to be friends and we still talk online, but we've since changed jobs so I don't see her at work anymore. Any advice? Anyone been in this type of situation before?

Thanks!

Dave

[ALovelyLady86]

Last year (18 years old) I dated 28....
I dont see it as a big deal as long as shes mature about it.
Course in the end it didnt last...

[Only-virgins]

thats kind of a big age difference..17 is like a kid. What ever though...I have no experience in age gaps. I love a girl who is only 1 year younger then me(barely).

[girlygirl2005]

I'm with a guy who's 30 and I'm 20. We don't even notice the age gap. I'm totally comfortable with it...plus he seems more my age! Lol. Nah, he's just got a good sense of humour. Other people don't seem to like the fact we have an age gap, but I don't care what they think. He's really attractive and liked by a lot of women (and gay men) so I've figured out they're just jealous! If you get on great and feel you are meant to be then you are...if she is mature enough then she should be able to handle a relationship with a guy your age. It's not as if you are old! When she is 20 you will be 29, a smaller gap than between me and my partner.

I think you should hang out with her, talk to her, have fun. Do the sort of things that you know she likes doing to show you have things in common. You probably find you do. Soon, she won't even notice the age. My guess is that she is worried what other people might think, like her parents.

[ALovelyLady86]

Its hard to find a genuinely mature, secure girl at 17 years old... but they do exist.. theyre those ones you see on tv with full scholarships to whatever university they want and are featured on Oprah.. not every girl is just concerned with looks and the petty things of the world.
I guess I just say this because I have dated older, and wouldnt go any other way. There are a lot of advantages to dating older number one, older men want young women, so you know youll be desireable, number two for the most part theyre done with college and offer a sense of security... theyre set for life and can help you out. There is a lot less to deal with emotionally when it comes to older men.. you dont have to worry about them running off with some chick from college... the odds are higher there than if they were to run off with an intern lol..
Also, if youre looking to settle down, for the most part a 28 or 29 year old man will be more willing than say a 23 year old. There are lots of advantages.