Do you know anyone who sabotages their relationship?

[smc123]

Tell me your stories I have a friend who really needs to hear them because she is always sabotaging herself in straight denial!!

[michelle23]

yes I know loads of people who do that. Normally due to insecurity. Tell your friend to get some counselling or to read books and educate herself on relationships. And not to just read one book and believe everything it says. To do all sorts of research and form her own opinions on things.

[namemyname]

Just dated one.

Agree with Michelle - it really stems from insecurity and a lack of confidence.

[Millie]

I have a friend who does this on a pretty grand - and unacceptable - scale. So far the same cycle has played out three times (she's 27) - she starts a relationship, it gets pretty serious pretty fast, which is how she seemingly wants it, they move in together and x months down the line get engaged, for all the world it seems like she's happy and committed, and then suddenly one day for no apparent reason at all, she isn't. She breaks off the relationship with next to no explanation, it invariably costs her a lot of money (yes she actually buys houses with these guys, in one case paid for the wedding she then decided she didn't want to go through with) and she cries a lot of tears but when you try to nail her down on what exactly the problem is, there just isn't one. Except for her, of course, SHE is the problem. Is it insecurity and lack of confidence? I can't say it isn't, but I don't understand it at all, since she always leaves just as she's got everything she claimed she wanted.

Anyway, over the course of the past 7 years or so this woman has not only sabotaged her own relationships, but by extension she's sabotaged her friendships. You can only be selfish and lacking in compassion for so long before others begin to take note and keep their distance.

[romantic-88]

I have a friend who does this on a pretty grand - and unacceptable - scale. So far the same cycle has played out three times (she's 27) - she starts a relationship, it gets pretty serious pretty fast, which is how she seemingly wants it, they move in together and x months down the line get engaged, for all the world it seems like she's happy and committed, and then suddenly one day for no apparent reason at all, she isn't. She breaks off the relationship with next to no explanation, it invariably costs her a lot of money (yes she actually buys houses with these guys, in one case paid for the wedding she then decided she didn't want to go through with) and she cries a lot of tears but when you try to nail her down on what exactly the problem is, there just isn't one. Except for her, of course, SHE is the problem. Is it insecurity and lack of confidence? I can't say it isn't, but I don't understand it at all, since she always leaves just as she's got everything she claimed she wanted.

Anyway, over the course of the past 7 years or so this woman has not only sabotaged her own relationships, but by extension she's sabotaged her friendships. You can only be selfish and lacking in compassion for so long before others begin to take note and keep their distance.

This time I will be short.
It looks as she does not know what she wants BUT there must be another reason if you look deeper in this situaion (in this girl's life).
What if the men in question have lied to her/have cheated on her?
Do you know how many % of the men ACTUALLY confess having an affair? I think there are statistics may be more than 80%. (the % for the women is more)
May be there are other reasons for this not absolutely sabotage of her own relationships. May be she just did not find the RIGHT person for her.

It will be good if she can talk to someone for advice. Someone with experience and someone like DR. TOM (from "the LIFE OF ERIKA").
I wish her luck.

The real sabotage is when a woman (jealous) TRIES by all means TO MAKE A MAN WHO LOVES A GIRL and wants to marry her GIVE UP ON THIS GIRL. The girl loves him too. This is sabotage.It is sabotage also when the same GIRL wants a job (a nice one) but she is called "GREEDY" and her career is sabotaged by a woman (jealous) who asks the man (who loves the girl) to intervene so that THIS GIRL does not have the DREAMED JOB-contract (salary, work-place i mean country, job title, start date). Imagine the combination of the 2 kinds of sabotage. You have no words I guess.

The most important is : everyone must take the decisions in his life ALONE, everyone MUST FOLLOW his/her heart. This is the ONLY way to be happy.