Girlfriend Doesnt Know Me

[jeandeaus]

I met a girl online when i played videogames when i was 16. I lied about my name and said i was in the military. I told her this because i planned on joining wheni was 18; never happened. I kept lying about being overseas and still spoke to her. I lied about everything except how i felt about her. She hates lying more than anything else, she even stopped talking to some of her friends because they lied about stealing face wash. Thats how much she hates lying. So now im 21 and not on the military and ive gained weight. What do i do? So how do i come clean without losing her and while not being what she probably expects? How do i start over fresh while trying to avoid her never talking to me again?

[michelle23]

I think you need to face the consequences, man up and confess. You have lied for 5 years. Its not fair to her to carry this on any longer. And I think its about time you both got off the computer and find a partner in real life

[jeandeaus]

I think you need to face the consequences, man up and confess. You have lied for 5 years. Its not fair to her to carry this on any longer. And I think its about time you both got off the computer and find a partner in real life

I do agree about telling her but im worried about losing her, even though i know i deserve nothing less. However, i may have met her online but does that make the relationship any less legitimate than meeting in real life? After all, most people now meet online through online dating or similar methods.

[surfhb2]

Jeez! Has the world just gone bersek? You've never met this girl ...ever!!

Youve lived a lie and now you expect her to what? Keep talking to you over an internet router?

You're a grown ass man now....grow up and join the real world

[TheEvilJester]

Unfortunately, I don't think your chances are too good. I'm sorry, as I don't mean to be harsh, nor do I mean to judge. I am sure, at first, this was just some online friend, so I am sure you didn't think much of it to tell a little fib to somebody online. I am sure you never intended to let a lie like this go for so long to somebody you wound up caring for so much. But, the problem is you have lied to her now for 5 years. Not only that, but this isn't just a little white lie. This is pretty major. It seems pretty likely that anybody would find it hard to get over that, much less somebody who specifically has a thing against lying.

So, unfortunately, you may have to chalk this up to a life lesson learned the hard way. Going forward, you should just tell the truth about who you are, even to somebody you don't necessarily think will be anybody important in your life. What benefit is their to lying? If there is anything you don't want somebody to know if you don't yet know them that well, just don't tell them.

Either way, good luck. I do hope this works out for you, but I just would not be too optimistic about the possibility. If it doesn't, then I hope you at least learn from this, and some day find who you are looking for in life.

[jeandeaus]

Jeez! Has the world just gone bersek? You've never met this girl ...ever!!

Youve lived a lie and now you expect her to what? Keep talking to you over an internet router?

You're a grown ass man now....grow up and join the real world

Thanks for being oh so kind.

Unfortunately, I don't think your chances are too good. I'm sorry, as I don't mean to be harsh, nor do I mean to judge. I am sure, at first, this was just some online friend, so I am sure you didn't think much of it to tell a little fib to somebody online. I am sure you never intended to let a lie like this go for so long to somebody you wound up caring for so much. But, the problem is you have lied to her now for 5 years. Not only that, but this isn't just a little white lie. This is pretty major. It seems pretty likely that anybody would find it hard to get over that, much less somebody who specifically has a thing against lying.

So, unfortunately, you may have to chalk this up to a life lesson learned the hard way. Going forward, you should just tell the truth about who you are, even to somebody you don't necessarily think will be anybody important in your life. What benefit is their to lying? If there is anything you don't want somebody to know if you don't yet know them that well, just don't tell them.

Either way, good luck. I do hope this works out for you, but I just would not be too optimistic about the possibility. If it doesn't, then I hope you at least learn from this, and some day find who you are looking for in life.

Thanks for the advice. Heres another question, if we have this forum to talk about problems and get advice; then why are people so judgemental and rude? I thought the purpose was to help others with their problems not judge them.

[surfhb2]

Thanks for being oh so kind.



Thanks for the advice. Heres another question, if we have this forum to talk about problems and get advice; then why are people so judgemental and rude? I thought the purpose was to help others with their problems not judge them.

Oh so sorry to hurt to your fragile feelings. I'm trying to get you to understand your situation

You disrespect her and yourself by doing what you did. If you feel I should be sugar coating a response then please give me a reason to do so

[basilandthyme]

Heres another question, if we have this forum to talk about problems and get advice; then why are people so judgemental and rude? I thought the purpose was to help others with their problems not judge them.

Some mistakes are so bad that we can't really help. This is one of them.

Sorry, dude - there really is no recovery from this one. At least one positive is that you'll soon be free to find a girlfriend in real life....someone to hang out with, hold and kiss.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, I am not sure if you were lumping my response in with that statement, but I can assure you my intention was not at all to be judgemental or rude. I, for one, understand that you surely did not intend for this lie to go so long. Nor, did you realize when you told it that this person was going to become so important in your life.

It's just, unfortunately this is one of those situations where there isn't much we can tell you. It may not be what you want to hear, but the chances of recovering from something like that are not too good, even ignoring the fact that she specifically has a peeve about lying. I mean, that isn't to say there is 100% no chance of her getting over it. It just wouldn't seem that the chances are very good.

The only advice I think we could really offer is to just come clean. Explain as best you can, apologize profusely. Promise to never lie to her again, and actually keep that promise. Maybe she would be able to see past it. If not, then at least learn from the mistake. I do wish you the best of luck. I hope that either this works out for you, or if not, that you at least find somebody else.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Just continue things as are. When you feel you are ready to be married, arrange a meeting, and show her the real you. After 5 years being together, she'll understand and forgive you.