any advice

[noopy]

I am 52 and my relationship is with a male aged 49 who has been seeing me every week 4-5 times for the past 9 weeks. Right from the second date he told me he wanted to have a relationship with me as he had not had one in years and wanted to have a someone in his life to enjoy his life with and go away with etc. I had just lost a 32 year marriage and was very upset but he was there for me from the start and was telling me he was happy to take things slow and wanted to have a relationship with me. We have been seeing each other for the past 9 weeks and I have been staying with him at his place over night every weekend and he has introduced me to his family a week ago. He has told me he intends to stay in our town now after considering moving away because he has a reason to stay now....me. He also has led me to believe he wanted me to go away with him on a weeks holiday at the end of this september where he goes every year...staying in a tent and havoing a great time with him but then last night he basically said he was going away to this on his own in september and when I said when he affirmed when and basically said on his own. I was sooo hurt I sat there and went ery quiet and was fighting back tears. When I left I was crying and could not understand why he would do that too me. We have talked about moving away together in the next year....being together and he has told everyone I am the one for him. Yet, he has done this too me and I felt I could not ask him why I was not going. I felt like it was wrong to force him to include me if he had already not done so...did not want to look so needy or make him feel obligated...so when I said when are you going and he just stated when and I was not included I felt devastated. How do I brooch this with him without it looking like I am imposing...I don't want to chase him away. I keep getting alot of positive things re. our relationship said by him about us long term and how happy he feels with me and then he seems to go a bit cold...then he seems to be good again and this has how I have been feeling all along. I go and see him at his place almost every day or at least 4-5 times a week and stay over nioght fridays and saturdays. He has from the start said I am always welcome to come over and has never been the one to ask me to come over...I have just rang him and asked to see him...I feel soooooo insecure and afraid I am going to lose him or he is going to get bored with me...one minute he is romantacally telling me how much I mean to him and then he is so wierd...it is not in what he says or does as in as much what I feel. My main question is about this trip he going on with people for a week in september and how I feel so left out after thinking he had been including me...how do I brooch this with him without forcing him to take me or making him feel trapped. I feel so insecure and I do love him.

[Wakeup]

Geezus!

Just relax sister and book a week of activities to do with your friends and family. If he's still your boyfriend in September.

You've known him 9 weeks (have ever seen the movie "9-1/2 Weeks?" You remind me of the female lead.

Man you started this "thing" already on fire and if it's not already burning out then it's soon going to. Stop seeing him so much and get a life that doesn't include you being happy as long as you are with him and never anytime else.

Shudders.