Everything has been going great until recently.. Now I don't know what to do or say

[anonymousguy01]

Hey guys. First post here. The read might be a bit long but I'll try to avoid getting into too much unnecessary detail.

A little background info: I'm a 19-year-old male who does not have much experience with actual relationships. I've been in a couple before, but they have ended one way or another before getting too serious.

Now here's the story:

I met this girl (18 y/o) back in mid June through mutual friends. We immediately hit it off and began talking every day through text and / or on the phone, and shortly after began to go out together several times a week, whether with just the two of us or with other friends. There was no shortage of flirting, displays of affection, etc. I eventually met her father, mother and younger sister. She even let me sleep over when she had a free house a few weeks back. She did make it clear about a month in that she would prefer to take our time getting to know each other more before getting too serious, and that remains the status to this day (now almost 10 weeks in) (assuming of course that things have not taken a turn for the worst, which will be explained below), however that did not change the progress of things at all. Although there are things we do have in common, there are also areas in which we are different - for example, she is high-energyextrovert who loves to party, whereas I'm more of a laid-back ambivert. Rather than being dividers that cause disagreements, we have both found that these differences create a good contrast that helps keeps things interesting.

With all that being said, things could not have been going more smoothly from mid June until the beginning of this month (maybe a few days in). I believe things started to change at or around the time her ex boyfriend contacted her, cried like a baby, pleaded with her to come back to him (not the first occurrence of which), told her about all his "family problems" and how he "has no one" and needs her (which I do not buy for one second). This made her cry and get very emotional as well, but according to how she told me all of this, she ultimately decided to leave him be and did not go back with him. I went to see her and some friends that same day and she seemed very depressed and not herself, and she kept things between us platonic that night (undoubtedly because of what happened). Although I imagine it would be very hard to let him go after dating him for three years prior to their breakup, I also imagine it would be a little easier to do so considering she has given him multiple chances which have all ended with him hooking up with another girl. Despite this, she did mention when talking about it the next day that the reason she got so emotional was because she has rarely seen him cry and still cares about him, which I understand.
This turn took place within the first few days of this month. And we have seen each other a few times since then, with some times being more platonic than others. In person, she seems more or less okay, however sometimes I can sense that something is a little off. Our communication over text is what what's really getting to me, especially because she has been away for over a week and it has been our only way of communicating. Our text conversations this month have made it clear that something has changed. She has been starting many of the conversations, but continues add virtually nothing to them, and eventually kills them all together. Almost all of her responses are a few words at the most. I cannot seem to get an actual conversation started despite my best efforts. (Keep in mind this never used to happen. We used to be able to keep an interesting conversation going all day). It has gotten to a point where I am reluctant to respond because I have no idea what to say. As of now, it has been over 48 hours since we last spoke. The last message was sent by me and she did not respond. This would never have happened prior to the change. She would even frantically apologize for taking an hour to respond sometimes. The fact that something has obviously changed has me fearing the worst . The fact that I don't know what to say or do about it is tearing me up inside. I really do not want things to end with her, I like her a lot. This is where I could really use some sound advice.

What do you think is going on here? Am I being too paranoid? Am I handling it correctly by waiting it out until she contacts me? And what should I do or say to give things the best chance of working out for the better?

Thanks in advance!

[surfhb]

Wait till she contacts you because the ball is in her court. This is the worst part of any new relationship but i suggest you gets used to the idea that people move on....feeling change and the especially true for a girl her age. Shes basically not mature enough to communicate her thoughts on all this and this is normal.

Can you go out with other girls and friends at this point? Get your mind off this girl......If she wants you she will call