Hello all, this is a problem that has weighed heavily on my mind for a long, long time and I hope you can help me.

3 years ago I began dating a woman that I love more than life itself. We were great together, everyone who saw us said we were the cutest couple, and we were. We treated each other very well. However I was unsure of my future career (I was 18) and this unsettled me, it got me down and depressed me (which had nothing to do with her). I simply didn't know where my life was going, but I knew I wanted to be with her and that was about it. Thus I ended up relying pretty heavily on her emotionally, I needed her around to be happy, when she was gone from me I would fall into despair. As you can imagine this put a big burden on her shoulders, and she got the incorrect impression that she was responsible for my sadness. I understand now that you can't do that to a person, that I needed to center my life on God. I also was somewhat forward about how much I loved her, I came on very strong. These things drove her away and caused her to break up with me, which did an even bigger number on me. Over the subsequent 2 years I was so depressed that I couldn't even see the nose on my face. Since we go to the same college she saw this and it probably made her even more scared of what I was doing to myself than she already was. Now she won't even look at me when we're in the same room. She might be scared of me, she might hate me, or she might simply be indifferent about me, I don't know.

After years have passed, I have come to realize what kind of career I'd like to have and I have made vast general improvements to who I am. I have centered my life and trust in God. I've fixed most if not all the problems about me. My love for her has not wavered one bit, it grows stronger each day, but the pain of her total absence from my life grows alongside it. What can I do to get her back? An apology is probably in order for how I treated myself and the effect it had on her, but how can I go about that. I promised myself, God, and this girl that I would love her and no one but her for so long as I live and I am determined that I won't break that promise. There's a lot of divorce in my family and I just won't make a promise like that then break it like I've seen so many times before.

The above is highly condensed for your reading, if you'd like more information or clarification please ask.

I'd really appreciate it if any of you can help, thank you for reading.