Ex Husband Says Im Ugly

[NoNameGirl]

hey guys please excuse my english im from a non english speaking european country

so im trying to make this story short

so 6 years ago i fell in love with an american soldier over the internet .. i met him .. we got married and had a child together. he was my first true love and i was his first girlfriend (yes he has never had a girlfriend before) we were a happy couple when we lived in asia for 3 years with our daughter. then he got stationed in germany so we had to move to germany... then he met a lot of single soldiers (one of them hated me) who loved to party a lot and of course i didnt like it too much since they were known for hanging out around clubs where these german girls hang out who try desperately to date soldiers (to live in america/money) . i talked to him before he got deployed and he was very sorry for ignoring me and not spending much time with me and our daughter. the day he left to afghanistan i cried my eyes out i loved this man with all my heart. during his deployment i skyped a looooooot with him and he slowly changed to be a loving and caring husband/father he told me he wants nothing more than me and our daughter .. without me saying anything he said he doesnt want nothing to do with his old friends and only spend time with his family... after 9 month's he got back home .. i was so happy .. he kept his promise and we actually did go see places and spend time as a family.. then 2 weeks later he asked me if its okay if his friend can come over (the one who hated me) i said sure .. then i cooked something and his friend came over.. after this day my ex husband changed so much he started leaving me and my daughter in the house 24/7 he worked from 6 am till 5 pm didnt come home for lunch anymore and just took his bags on fridays and left us all alone till sunday night (because he had to work on mondays) he only wanted to party (maybe meet girls) having fun.. i was very sad about him being so selfish.. then 2 months later on my daughters birthday he really wanted to have another child with me .. i wasnt happy so i told him that its not the time to have another one.. 2 weeks later he started locking himself into his computer room .. left my daughter cry in front of his door and seemed to be in his own little world.. i thought that was kinda weird to do and on his ''pee break'' he unlocked the door and went to the bathroom .. so i ran into his computer room .. locked myself in and checked his computer .. and yes .... he was writing to a german girl. then i told him off asking why hes doing that to me and he just told me he doesnt love me anymore and he already has a new girlfriend(well 2 weeks before he wanted to have another kid with me.. what the f?!) so he told me i either live with his partying and going out or i have to go. i called his mom for advice because me and her are best buddies <3 we love eachother just like mother and daughter <3 anyways she told me to grab my bags and live with her .. so my ex drove me and my daughter to the airport .. dropped us off .. started crying and walked back to his car without saying a single word... he just dropped our bags .. turned around and started crying really bad.. then he was gone .. and we were on our way to america .. we landed and everything was okay .. he even called me saying maybe we just need to be apart from eachother and he might wants me back.. but i was mad at him for breaking my heart so bad .. for making me cry every single night.. so i met a guy that i knew for over 7 years who also lived close to the house i was staying .. i invited him went out with him and took a picture of me and him kissing and posted it on my facebook .. while i was posting it i thought (boom sucker .. payback !) :'D anyways then my ex called talking to me like im lower than dirt just talking down to me and then put the divorce papers in.. well i started working.. rented a nice house .. had my boyfriend live with me .. and never heard crap of my ex .. he didnt even bother calling his daughter or mom.. so we all lived happily together .. after one year not talking to my ex i decided america is not the country i can stay for the rest of my life so me and my daughter went back to europe <3 after 2 month's being in europe the divorce was done.. he barely called my daughter and ignored both of us ..some month's later he came to my house to spend time with our daughter .. i told him i want to go to the zoo with them to make sure my daughter is not crying for me and to see how hes doing with her (because he never took care of her ... ever!) well he agreed on it and brought a male friend with him.. so we went to the zoo everything was great i was swinging like some monkey baby with my daughter lol we all had fun !! then he drove us back home .. i was about to say bye then he asked me if i want to go to the park with him and our daughter (it was already 7pm) i said yes but only for an hour and he said ''oh yes its fine'' so we walked through the park .. thats when he said '' you could have brought your boyfriend with you .. i dont give a F...!'' i was kinda surprised he would just bring that up .. thats when he started blaming me for this divorce .. even tho he was the one cheating.. he blamed me anyway and said ''well your wrote guys on the internet when i was deployed'' (which is a lie!!!!!!!!) i said proof it .. he said cant proof it but i know you did!.. well he kept talking crap about how this is my fault bla bla.. so me and my daughter went home.. then he showed up some weeks later again i offered him to come in and sit down .. he sat down and talked to me but NEVER!!! looked me in the eyes .. he stared at the wall and talked .. but when i did something else i saw him following me with JUST his eyes...well at 7pm i told him to get out of my house because i wanted to chill on the sofa .. he left and then he ignored me again ....then he threatened to take my daughter from me so i took his butt to court and won. .. then he ignored me again ...... for a month... then in january he went back to america and of course took his homewrecker girlfriend with him.. well i played on my phone and then got a text.. it was him sking me why i ignore him on social media .. i told him that i dont want to be friends with him since he tried to take my daughter from me .. he then started telling me im worthless because i dont make much money anymore and im so ugly .. he kept talking crap about my looks even tho i model clothes for asian websites (i guess i cant be that ugly then) he kept talking how ugly i am and how happy he is with his girlfriend and that he married her bla bla (his mom said ''bullsh&t he didnt marry shes on a 3 month visa looking for a job) .. so now im asking myself why he's doing that? does he hate me so much or does he still like me (but why would he ''marry'' another girl then?!) to me its very hard to understand men because i didnt have many relationships thats why i would like to hear other peoples opinion.

sorry for writing a book here lol i just really want to know what others think about this.

i appreciate every answer

[basilandthyme]

There's not much to say except that he's an asshole and you're well rid of him. You can try and decipher other people's behaviour forever, but sometimes the reason is simply that they are a shitty person.

Block him on all media. Phone, social media, email etc. If he needs to contact you regarding your daughter, he can contact your lawyer who will pass the message on to you.

[dontaskme]

Has it dawned to you that your ex maybe suffering from post traumatic stress disorder having served in a war?

[NoNameGirl]

Has it dawned to you that your ex maybe suffering from post traumatic stress disorder having served in a war?

he changed a lot before and after deployment (he just wanted to go partying and drink)and seemed to be unusual thankful to have me and my daughter while he was deployed. after i got basically kicked out i found out that he went to the psychiatrist and got medication for depression. is it common for people with this stress disorder to cheat or leave their women?

[dontaskme]

is it common for people with this stress disorder to cheat or leave their women?

Cheating is not always a direct outcome of PTSD but merely one of its negative consequences arising from the person's inability to cope with the normal stressors in life. PTSD and depression go hand in hand so don't rule out the possibility that your ex might be suffering from one.