She rejected me. I cut off contact. Now she's being weird and flirty again.

[Deen_H]

I met this girl at work. We became good friends but, there was obvious sexual tension / flirting. We got to know each other extremely well (over a period of 3-4 months). We talked all day and night (phone / text). There are about 2,000 messages between us on my phone. We got so close people at work assumed we were seeing each other.


So I asked her out. Twice. The first time, she said yes but, our work schedule messed things up. The second time, she said yes again, but then quickly said she was busy when i tried to hammer down the exact time and date. Said she was busy the whole weekend. Since she didn't give another day or time, I assumed she was blowing me off. I didn't take it too well. I basically ignored her for the next couple of weeks. At first, I was ignoring her because i was hurt. Now I can at least talk to her as i've started to move on but, i dont pay her anywhere near as much attention as i did months ago.


Now she's being weird. It's been a month since this happened. At work, I'm cordial but, I keep our convos short. She tries to have convos with me every day and tries to extend them, always keeping the convo going when i'm turning to leave. She smiles and stares. She stands really close to me whenever we're around each other. Laugh at things i say or runs her hands through her hair. She says uncomfortable things that are weird now seeing that we don't talk anymore, like how much im there for her or how i'm always saving her. It's not what she says but, how she says it. I work with a lot of women, so the way she acts vs the other girls sort of stands out. She'll sometimes show up in my department to ask me silly questions. She likes everything I put up on Facebook and Instagram. EVERYTHING. She's doing all of this eventhough I've basically shut down towards her. Yesterday, she sent a text asking me to do something she couldve easily gotten the girls we work with to do. EASILY. This is the first we've talked in about a month outside of work. What gives? Is she playing games?

tl;dr: I asked out a girl at work after getting to know her for 3-4 months. She rejected me. After I cut off contact and stopped talking to her, she starts to act flirty and weird toward me.

[nheeya]

Sorry but she seem like an "attention-seeker".

[TheEvilJester]

Honestly, it sounds to me like she is one of those pathetic, flaky people who only wants what she can't have. You were interested in her and instead of just be honest about whether or not she was interested, she'd SAY she was, but then ACT like she wasn't. She'd agree to go out with you, then act really awkward and refuse to actually put her money where her mouth is.

As it would anybody, this hurt your feelings. You did the right thing by breaking off contact and were even mature enough to remain cordial to her once the hurt wore off form the way she treated you.

Now, all of a sudden she CAN'T have you, so now she wants you. I would be willing to bet almost anything that if you started returning the interest again, sooner or later she'd eventually pull away all over again. She'd probably become disinterested immediately, but even if she actually maintained her facade of interest for a while, eventually she'd flake out again and leave you wondering what the Hell happened all over again.

I've been through that kind of crap myself, so I understand how it can drive you crazy and mess with your self-confidence. Almost causes you to wonder what is wrong with you. Well... I'll tell you what.... There's nothing wrong with you, but there's PLENTY wrong with her. Took me WAY too long in life to realize that. I let way too many bad people in my life in my younger days because I just wanted to connect with somebody. I certainly can't say you ever completely get away from people like that. Somehow they always find a way to slither their slimy way in. But, you get to be better at recognizing them quickly and not letting them in too deep (or, better yet, not letting them in at all).

My advice would be to maintain your course of action. Don't be rude, but be very obviously business only with her. Heck, I wouldn't even recommend being friends. If she tries to chit chat, just politely excuse yourself. Eventually she will take the hint. If she doesn't, THEN is the time to consider being a little more firm about it. Good luck to you. I hope some day soon you find a gal who will make you realize why you should never have even bothered with this loser once she proved herself to be a flaky prick.