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Speaking from exp, online relationships spark fast and intense, and there can be real emotion there. But there is also a tendency to overlook shortfalls that you would never accept in a physical...

Yeah, keep dating elsewhere. If this guys is super special keep in touch, but his story doesn't jibe to me. He's either still in a relationship or the breakup is not as advanced as he is saying.
...

Direct approach dear. You are over thinking this, which means you are probably a very nice and thoughtful person, but with men you have to be clear in your intentions and just like a stage actor...

Okay so just to close this out.

I came here because of the "nice guy" comment, and the connotations therein. I was really afraid that my feelings for this fine lady were not being matched on her...

Thanks Smackie, you covered all the basics, which I have learnt from prior experience (the hard way).

Oh, and I did the specific compliment thing with her family, it worked a charm (and I really meant it, it's just not something I would have thought of myself)

So any advice for this casual lunch...

And now a non-romantic lunch date later today. I'll have to be real disciplined in what I say.

Move on. This sleazy bastard is playing you.

If he was not happy in his current relationship he would have left her already.

If he truly loved you, he would have left her already.

Sleazy...

It seems like you are looking for love in all the wrong places.

Seriously.

If guys don't want to make and effort then what are they doing going on a date in the first place?

Raise your...

I'm sorry, but you need to move on. As in completely cut ties.

Well then the door is wide open. He's now basically begging you to ask him out.

I'm sorry, but from everything you have said it is not fixable, at least not to the point where you can have a healthy relationship.

Yes, he says he loves you and your daughter, and he does. But...

Well, I just texted her something innocuous and she called back instead of texting and just wanted to talk, so I am going to take that as a good sign :)

That is good advice. Light and upbeat. Specific compliment.

So at what point do I make the move? Or wait for her?

EDIT: I know you said to feel her out, and I am good for that. You make a lot...

First of all, thanks for the response.

Given that she has very little relationship experience you may be right.

I am a bit conflicted, as I have received other advice to make the move and ask...

Arrange a get together for clarification.

It sounds like it is over, but by going and seeing him one more time you will know for sure. Since he has a habit of keeping in touch with ex's I'd tell...

I should add, that she has not been in many relationships at all and may not understand the "nice guy" curse of friendship. She may just think I am a nice guy.

You may feel you have been communicative, but clearly you have not communicated enough.

People regardless of gender tend to love the status quo more than they love the person they are with (in bad...

Good luck man, you've got a lot to figure out.

Start with trying a relationship and you'll learn more about yourself.

Don't bother your family with this until you know yourself what you are...

Not enough information to be able to judge. If you go on some dates with him you'll find out soon enough what he is after. Worth a try.

Ok.

You are right to have doubts. His behviour is not healthy for someone who is in a committed monogamous relationship.

If he has female friends, that is fine, but if he is that protective of...

intelligence + you have to be physically attracted as well.
a sense of humor
authenticity.

I'd say he is/was attracted to you but is likely in another committed relationship and he has decided that he likes that more then risking a potential relationship with you.

The "keep work at...

Sorry, if he is mentioning over dates, then whatever was there is now over.

Unless it's in the context of, "I've been going on all these dates and they are not working out". Anything other than...

I am smitten with a person from work. We talk a fair bit, then recently invited me to go out with some friends and family saying "I want you to be part of my social life".

She drove, first we went...