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I wouldn't say "don't text her much". I'd say don't massively increase the number of texts a day just because you are apart. If texting everyday is normal then carry on doing it. It's good that you...

Tone, have to say I agree with Boisdevie here. If things have got this bad between you and the only thing stopping you leaving is guilt then this is not a healthy relationship and at some point it's...

Lizzy-bet, I can really feel for you in this situation. I hope my response didn't come over as critical as it wasn't intended that way. Those first three years must have been extremely difficult for...

Teel, the best answer I can give to that is that she knew all these men before she knew you from the sounds of it. Yet it was you she chose to go out with.That's got to say a lot. I think we all, no...

Hey teel. Sorry to say this but to me, the answer definitely sounds like yes, you are making an issue out of nothing. Your girlfriend is not only entitled to have friends outside of your...

Couldn't agree more with Scott. That's great advice.

I've also found that when I'm apart from my girlfriend (we often go weeks without seeing each other) I can get really negative and over-think,...

Got to agree with girl68 on this one.

The fact that you are using this friend to highlight your husband's shortcomings - for example, you directly compare the two by saying things like he is so...

If ever I've read a post that yells "you need to be cruel to be kind", this has to be it. By trying to be the "nice guy" and not hurt her, you are going to end up hurting her way more. It does sound...

When my girlfriend leaves my place I walk her to the car. If she arrives after dark I walk out to meet her from the car. And I live on an enclosed estate with private parking. And I like a text when...

I agree entirely with RockNRoll - you don't need to explain yourself. It is completely clear why you sent the texts etc. and I wouldn't say it was needy.

As for the rest of the situation I'd say...

The key thing to me is that you can't trust her anymore. Once you have started to distrust somebody, it takes a lot to get that trust back. And they have to show that they are willing to work to earn...

Hi all,

Well, first off thanks to everyone for their responses so far. It's been interesting, and invaluable, to read them. If I wasn't quite so embroiled in the current situation I'd say there...

Hi Reeba,

Thanks for the response. I have to admit the "old habits die hard" line is one I've thought of. The thing is, when I say I trust her, what I mean is physically. I do not honestly believe...

Hi Girl68,

I agree with you entirely on your first point - snooping is no trust. I'm not snooping. I know about her past straight from her: as I said she has been very open about that. I know...

Thanks for the fast response! 130 miles is not that far, but it's also not the kind of distance you can just "pop round" on a night when things have been a bit shakey between you. It's still a 3 hour...

So, I hope the title says it all really. I'm wondering if I'm being a jerk. This is driving me a little bit crazy and I really need an indpendent view.

I'm sorry if this is lengthy, but you need...