Is my bf cheating AGAIN?

[Topazlove]

I'll make this short. BF and I have been together 6 months, we broke up 2 months ago because he cheated with his ex-gf whom he has a child with. I broke it off thinking that he would go back to her...he didn't. Instead he fought his way back to me. She got upset and ended up taking a job in another country and moved away with their child, this hurt him a lot because he misses his daughter, but given their relationship and how unhealthy it had become for the child, he thought it was best to just let her do as she needed to for the meantime. He says he loves her as the mother of their child, but couldn't be with her any longer.

After all this, I decided to give us a second try. I saw him really making efforts to be better at communicating with me, and making me a priority. Things were going great...amazingly great.

I don't have an fb anymore, but a friend told me three nights ago that his ex is now friends with him on fb, and tagged him on a photo of her and the child. Through screen shots, I saw that he put "my beautiful baby girl" on the picture. I called him and told him I wasn't comfortable with them being fb friends and that it wasn't necessary for them to be that so that they could keep contact for their daguther. After a bit of a back and forth, he removed her from his friends list. I tried to say it as calmly as possible, and told him that if it was a photo of only the child, I wouldn't have been upset...but it was her and the child...and to be honest it made it seem as though they were back together...and I am nowehere to be found on his fb any longer as I deactivated mine a few months ago (if I reactivate then yes all our photos would pop back up and also the relationship status would show again, I tested it for a minute)...but I don't want it, and I don't want to have to snoop.

This morning I woke up with a bad feeling, I checked his fb again and saw that she was BAK on his fb.

I was livid. I called...said mean things and demanded he remove her. I felt so hurt...after all we went through. He removed her again, but with an attitude and said he didn't know what happened...I don't trust that. I don't trust him right now.

I know he probably won't want to speak with me for the rest of the day...and I'm not sure I have anything more to say to him right now either. He swears up and down that nothing is going on...but I don't know if I should believe him any longer. Not after what happened a few months ago.

She does not live in the country anymore, so he says I shouldn't even be worried.
Also, he's dedicating all his extra time to me, and communicating very well with me these past month and a half...

I'm not sure what to do here. :/

... I hate how I reacted this morning.

I said nasty things and he just kept quiet, I could tell he was getting upset with me, he didn't say anything much. He took her off again, but I know he's upset with me. I think I have a right to be upset...but I'm not proud of how I handled it. I don't want to be THAT woman...the kind who demands and dictates to her bf what he should or shouldn't do. That's not me, it never has been me.

I hate that I allowed myself to get that way...I hate that it got me so low, I'm better than that.


Any advice?

[Nicky210473]

He's already damaged your relationship with him by cheating. It's the worst thing someone can do in a relationship in my book. How can you trust him? You can't. But trust me on this.. He re added her on fb.. That 'gut' feeling you had that something wasn't right and made you check was your intuition. Never ignore it.. They say if something doesn't feel right it usually isn't, I can tell you're really anxious, a healthy relationship shouldn't be that way. I've been cheated on and conned with all the tears flowers sweet words and doing nice things but chances are proven to be very high.. They cheat once they do it again and I understand he has a child with his ex but that's the only link they should have between them. Now he cheated with her and chances are very high he's ignored your request to remove her as a fb friend. In fact if you look at it this way.. He deceived you again behind your back with the same woman. If this was me? See ya later buddy I'll find someone that deserves me... And your reaction is justified. I would have gone off my head. But next time don't bother upsetting yourself just walk away knowing he's not worth all the stress with all that bullshit.

[TablesandChairs]

He shares a child with this woman and she is now overseas so the fact that they are FB contacts and he can see photos of his child is not a bad thing - it's quite convenient and a good way to stay in touch. The issue here is that he has cheated and broken the trust between you. With this is mind, anything to do with his ex is going to inspire paranoia and distrust...forgiveness is far easier said than done and it's one of the reasons I don't do second chances when it comes to cheating...in the end, it's like punishing yourself for the mistakes of another.

In your case, the situation is compounded by the fact that he will always have some contact with the woman he cheated on you with because of his daughter...and you have to think long and hard as to whether it's worth it for you.

[Maria burton]

Hi I just read your post and my heart goes out to you. Oh the joys of FB and social media. My partner has always had a wandering eye but social media has allowed him to take this to a completely different level. There are always 3 of us me him and his phone and whatever it gives him access to. He is literally on it 24/7. He lied to me when we met about having a child and he has lied to me ever since. I had a similar situation when I found out by chance he had been seeing his son. I was livid because all his family knew except me. I can see what the other person said in that it's not the point of your partner wanting to see his child it's the lies and deceipt of it all. When someone lies to you they have no integrity so you question everything they tell you. I think in your heart you will know if you trust this man. If you do you can come to some amicable relationship. If you don't trust or believe him I am afraid my dear you will have a life of misery - walking on eggshells. I have been in my situation for over 25 years. We have got a house together and he has threatened to chuck my son out if the family home if I leave him or if I die. You haven't said how old you are and if you have any children but if you are young and don't have no children my advice would be maybe give this one last chance. If things don't improve do yourself a favour and get out. You deserve so much better.