Early signs of cheating

[Anonymous10]

Dumped gf after found flirty fb txts to another guy. Early signs were name dropping same guy and likes his fb pics. She works with him and wud pass it off as friends. If I brought it up early on she wud think I'm jealous/insecure if I don't it bothers me and I'm letting it happen. How do u approach early on when your not even sure if it's ur own insecurities messing with u or a gf starting to take interest elsewhere?

[Wakeup]

The very fact that she's flirting with someone she works with after work hours is enough to know that she doesn't have the same relationship boundaries as you do. It's inappropriate and if she didn't even offer to compromise in someway that would be acceptable to both of you then she's an attention whore who YOU are probably better off quickly getting rid of.

Dating is about finding out if who you have been attracted to will make a good, compatible LIFE partner for YOU.... obviously, she's not the one for you.

[woody]

Well it all depends on what you deem is 'flirty' and how often it happens and while I agree with W.U^ if the texts are indeed over the top flirty and or you've talked with her about your discomfort regarding this and she still continues, you'd need to re assess everything; IF however, this is simply a chum and the words aren't really flirty at all, it may very well be simple insecurities on your part sabotaging things.
But by your post, you dumped her already right? AFter how long I wonder?

While it is alright to have male friends, when it bothers our sweethearts, we do the right thing and cut ties; even if there's no just reason for concern, if it makes our loved ones unhappy we protect the unit.
Without knowing more details on what kind of so called flirty texts she was sending, I am at a loss with what else I could say.
Follow your gut.

[smackie9]

Wakeup is right.

So this is what you do, if she dumps on you for bringing up boundaries with male coworkers/ friends, and her conduct on FB then you simply breakup with her.

[Anonymous10]

Thx for advice thing is there was no compromise she was sneaking around behind my back all the time. I was going out with her for 10 months I'd say six months in there was name dropping and liking his fb pics. Couldn't go on this alone or is look possessive and jealous not good.
Then last 2 months anyway she's been more distant and last month no sex and acting strange so my suspicions were def growing. Then she went home one wkend three wks ago and I logged into her fb saw flirty txts dating back to before Christmas and a poke by her to him on 10th Jan. Nxt day she was in my house and rushed without looking at my parents, must have been the guilt. Guessing she slept with guy night before.
Even if it's only the flirting behind my back that was enough for me so I dumped her with a cruel txt saying I never liked her not mentioning the cheating. Plus what I saw on fb might only be the tip of the iceberg to whats on her phone.
She's def an attention whore at a minimum and I've had a lucky escape. ( I def wasn't perfect but she should have come to me and talked instead of being a sneak) Hope all this doesnt mess my head too much hard not to think of where I failed and could have improved even though it's her fault. Really hope I meet much nicer girl nxt time!!! 😊

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Should I have run a mile cause she slept with me on 1st date??

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I miss the company now but def not her...I know I made the right choice. I don't think I made enough effort with sex ( lack confidence in this area anyway)and didn't have enough of a life of my own focusing too much on her. These are my mistakes which I'll learn from and improve. I think what hurts is not losing her she's nothing to me but angry at myself for not having my own stuff together.
Relationships are tough (men) show any weakness and the games up.

[michelle23]

I think its just common sense that close opposite sex friends are a deal breaker. I wouldn't even have that conversation or discuss boundaries-i would just say we obviously dont share the same values so goodbye. Next time don't even worry about looking insecure or jealous. Follow your gut. Your suspicions were right all along and you did nothing wrong. Some people are just brain dead when it comes to these things and you shouldnt waste your time or energy on a relationship that makes you paranoid.

[Anonymous10]

Thx Michelle, opposite sex friends might work if ur gf was a decent person guess mine had bad character all along so was always gonna happen!
I don't know if I cud end a relationship based on name dropping and a few fb likes might come across as a psycho Lol...but it's funny how it turned out to be true in the end hope it doesn't turn me into paranoid freak with next girl!!!
Worst thing is I work in same dept as ex gf and that guy...just ignore them completely obviously...