odd question for the ladies about love.

[onegr8guy]

She has to have some feelings still if she texts me in the middle of the night scared of a bug lol, she knows I'm always here no matter what, I bet if I keep it up I may get another chance

[eve.ashley]

She has to have some feelings still if she texts me in the middle of the night scared of a bug lol, she knows I'm always here no matter what, I bet if I keep it up I may get another chance

i agree. the guy you call when scared or in trouble is the guy you really trust. being able to trust a guy is a very attractive thing.

i think you have more chance than you think.

[rjitktd]

i dont thik soo

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i dont thik soo match

[Wakeup]

She has to have some feelings still if she texts me in the middle of the night scared of a bug lol, she knows I'm always here no matter what, I bet if I keep it up I may get another chance.

I doubt it. If you keep it up she will more likely then not, going to start considering you her girlfriend with dangly bits. Google "The Ladder Theory" and educate yourself to what happens to guys who become some chicks emotional tampon.

This isn't like you're some player who can charm the pants off of some issued divorcee... You're a nice guy who woman like her will take advantage of more times then not.

Buck up and start searching for someone to replace her because it's clear that you're the type that needs a new one to get under before you'll get over her. Being her girlfriend will just stagnate you from getting motivated enough to pursue other chicks.

Good luck... don't forget to read The Ladder Theory but DO disregard the chauvinistic slant while taking in the actual message.

Someone in another forum I read once said: "If you're not having sex with her then you're just her girlfriend." There is solid truth to that.

[onegr8guy]

Got to have faith, can't just give up right away

[eve.ashley]

Got to have faith, can't just give up right away

for sure you don't be a quitter now.

there is knowing when to walk away, but there is being a scared quitter - who walks away not having the strength to fight for what he believes in. (that you guys would be a great couple).

you be brave, nothing happened that would indicate that there is no hope for the two of you.

[basilandthyme]

To be honest, I can't see the whole 'being there' for her thing working. It just makes you look wimpy. Or a like a doormat. I can't begin to imagine being attracted to a man who just waits and hopes.

Personally, I'd be more likely to be change my mind if a guy has the balls to tell me "I am disappointed that I can't be your girlfriend. I'm sure you'll understand that I can't continue being your non-boyfriend. I'm going to continue dating others and put some space between us". And even if I didn't change my mind, I'd at least have more respect for him than if he just waited around hoping for me to change my mind.

But I guess I'm attracted to men who are mentally strong.

[eve.ashley]

To be honest, I can't see the whole 'being there' for her thing working. It just makes you look wimpy. Or a like a doormat. I can't begin to imagine being attracted to a man who just waits and hopes.

Personally, I'd be more likely to be change my mind if a guy has the balls to tell me "I am disappointed that I can't be your girlfriend. I'm sure you'll understand that I can't continue being your non-boyfriend. I'm going to continue dating others and put some space between us". And even if I didn't change my mind, I'd at least have more respect for him than if he just waited around hoping for me to change my mind.

But I guess I'm attracted to men who are mentally strong.

wow, way to be a passive aggressive bitch and call OP a weak man.

but enough abusive name calling, be it passive aggressive or overt and obvious, let's break your post down just for the sake of the argument.

so who said he cant date other women, when he is just friends with her?

that is pretty goes without saying rule of friendship, people date whomever they want.

being there for someone is bad and equals being a doormat and a wimp?

no it doesn't, it means you are a loving and empathetic person.

you know something, i do not take seriously any person over 16 who uses words like wimp.

i hope you are 15, in which case should you really be giving life advice to adults?

you are also confusing having balls, as you put it, and being scared and weak.

if a guy gives up on a woman clearly trying to toss him around that's having balls, as you so eloquently put it.

if he gives up on a person he really, really likes, who is not doing anything harmful to him, but simply is not on the same page as far as dating goes, he is more likely scared and weak than anything else.

takes guts to put yourself out there and fight for someone's affection.

i completely fail to see any logic in your reasoning, and you are most likely attracted to very weak men, the weakest kind.

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Got to have faith, can't just give up right away

btw greatguy, this is actually a good thing to say, i will not be your non bf and i'm gonna move on and date, but we can be friends.

hehe

that is sure to shake her up if she had any feelings for you.

we are not doing this to avoid being wimps though, we are not infantile, narcissistic or scared and do not need to be macho to prove we are men, (well you are a man i'm a woman)

we are doing it to shake up some emotion in your girl.

[onegr8guy]

I'm not exactly waiting around. I'm going to do what I want, if she changes her mind, great, if not oh well.

[woody]

O.P (gr8guy), do what your gut tells you to do; just keep it real and bring insight.
[MENTION=79819]eve.ashley[/MENTION],
Please refrain from calling our fellow members names like "passive aggressive bitch"..
It is poor form; Your always free to disagree but for pete sakes, be nice about it. It's in you to do.
And to clear something up for you; she did not directly refer to the O.P as a 'wimp'. She implied that those actions (in her opinion) could be construed as 'wimpy'. So before you jump the gun and attack, get it right, please and thank you kindly.

Note: just because your (eve.)in the safe haven of your own home typing to a faceless crowd does not give you the right to behave badly. There are plenty of words to choose from without bringing out the bitch. (and no, I did not call 'You' a bitch directly, I'm merely suggesting there is no need to be one) okay? good. But you can call me a passive aggressive bitch anytime. I'll totally take it.

have a nice day and I do hope your well

oh yes, and Gr8guy, everything will be alright. Time will tell you more; follow your gut.

[eve.ashley]

I'm not exactly waiting around. I'm going to do what I want, if she changes her mind, great, if not oh well.

of course you are not waiting around.

you are living your life and exploring all avenues of happiness, including not giving up on her just yet.

do not let bullies change the way you think. you are refreshingly mentally healthy and strong.

[Wakeup]

To be honest, I can't see the whole 'being there' for her thing working. It just makes you look wimpy. Or a like a doormat. I can't begin to imagine being attracted to a man who just waits and hopes.

... and you're exactly like most women capable of being interdependent, strong, confident and cognizant of what makes a woman of worth feel safe and attracted to more then the face but also the essence of the man.

Op: You'd do well to show her that you're a man of confidence in knowing that you don't settle to be friends with someone that you want more with. Nip any door matty behaviour in the bud now so that it doesn't become a lifestyle for you.

Good luck. Know that you deserve more then being her emotional tampon... because everyone deserves being more then just THAT.

If you're going to stick around hoping and stagnating being open enough to see the potential in others then don't let her cross your personal boundaries. Have the strength to say "no" when she's using you for her emotional catch all.

Google "The importance of personal boundaries" and start honing yours so that you don't fall into the habit of letting others cross boundaries on you. Having good personal boundaries is what gives you the strength to leave dysfunctional, abusive, and non reciprocated relationships before you feel you're trapped in them. Before they become an addiction that you find yourself afraid to get out of.

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i completely fail to see any logic in your reasoning,

That's because you are so issued in codependency that you couldn't even leave an abusive marriage until you had some player juvenile sweet talking you into his bed... only to only want a poloyamorous relationship with you that you'll settle for because you're codependent and settling for something you don't really believe in, in your mind is better then being alone and learning how to be strong and happy in your own skin.

If you were not codependent and in need of a therapist proficient in that "ism" then you would totally understand the logic. When you are unable to be logical then you are unable to see.

Now... I say none of that in malice. I just don't want the poor Op to be bedazzled by you telling him exactly what he wants to hear just because you allowed an outsider to dazzle you with his player science and so you think that he should continue to pursue a lost cause. Like I said, he's no player who has the mentality that the chase and conquer is the end game.

You don't make friends with people you want a relationship with. It's a recipe for hurt.. not only one's self but also anyone that he should get with in the future when it's discovered that his "friend" is interloping in on the primary relationship. The dynamic of an opposite sex friendship needs to change when there is a potential life-partner in the picture.

Yes... do what your gut tells you to do but don't disregard common sense, self-respect, personal boundaries and logic while listening. Take into account more then what you want to hear and use what you've learned to see past instant gratification.

[onegr8guy]

Now I mentioned a movie she wanted to see with me and she said she might not be ready yet since we just broke up, but when I asked her about it she said she's afraid of messing up and I said the same thing I'm afraid but we shouldn't let that get in the way.