Coaster with a number on it?

[tropus]

I found half of a coaster with a name/number and a "Thanks :-)" on it on my girlfriend's dresser. We've been in a relationship for a month so I am not really that alarmed, but it is a red flag nontheless. She works part time at a small family bar, and I have assumed that is where it came from. Anyway the other night she brought up a story about how she tends to come off as overly flirty because a patron kept getting in her way and handed her a coaster with his number on it. I asked her if she kept it and she said no. I didn't push the issue.

So if it is the same coaster, she lied to me. If it is not, then that raises some suspicion about why she would hang onto a coaster with some dude's number on it. I really don't know what to think because she seems to be really into me. I decided to Facebook the number/name and the number associated with the account do not match. Furthermore, she doesn't have any friends with that name. Should I just forget about it or should I bring it up? If I should bring it up, how in the hell can I do it without seeming snoopy or manipulative?

[Fuzzyfeeling]

If it's bothering you ,then perhaps you should talk about it ,cause it may Be a misunderstanding and such ,now not to sounds manipulative.
Take the coaster ,place it somewhere where it's not really conspicuous(in between cups beside the tv?) not sure any place she'll find it eventually and she herself will talk to you about it ,plus the bonus of her regretting what has happened.
Just a thought.

[megvoh]

Throw it out and see if she asks you about it, say it looked like trash what was its importance lol

[Khocie]

I think you are taking this too much. She is an attractive lady I believe which is why you were also attracted to her and there will be guys who will ask her out especially since she works with people so you need to talk to her her and ask her if she lied to you if that will make you feel better because snooping around will give you something even if it is not true but because you will be looking you will find what you looking for. A mind can make what is not there be there. Enjoy your woman she sounds honest to me and you need to work on your insecurities Good luck

[Wakeup]

I wonder why she kept it? Then ...
I wonder why she lied about it?
I also wonder why she bothered to tell you about it if she was going to lie about keeping it?

You know her a month so I doubt she's going to shut down all of her options at this point. Have you two had any kind of exclusivity talk yet? If you haven't because you think it's too soon then you should keep your own options open as well until you can see in her actions that she's ready to be exclusive.

[tropus]

I wonder why she kept it? Then ...
I wonder why she lied about it?
I also wonder why she bothered to tell you about it if she was going to lie about keeping it?

You know her a month so I doubt she's going to shut down all of her options at this point. Have you two had any kind of exclusivity talk yet? If you haven't because you think it's too soon then you should keep your own options open as well until you can see in her actions that she's ready to be exclusive.

We dated for a month and we've been in an exclusive relationship for a little over a month. Her dresser is kind of messy and it was in a pile of stuff that included her old driver license. Maybe it's really old and she forgot about it? I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt here. I don't understand why the number wouldn't match the name on FB; seems like it must be old.

[Wakeup]

Have you talked about being exclusive with one another?

[TheEvilJester]

I wouldn't necessarily jump to conclusions. I think we all have "junk drawers." Do you realize how much crap I've shoved in a drawer and then completely forgotten it even existed?

So, it could be entirely possible this was some other guy who gave her his number before you two were together, she kept that one, but forgot she even had it. Sure, it could be true that your suspicions are right, but you wouldn't really know unless you ask. You've also only been together a month, so that isn't necessarily long enough to consider yourselves 100% exclusive. Even if you've already decided you are exclusive, that is still relatively short enough that perhaps she wouldn't have bothered "cleaning house" so to speak of other contacts and such.

If it bothers you enough, I guess ask her about it. Otherwise, you will just drive yourself crazy with speculation. However, if you can just put it aside and forget about it, that would be my suggestion. Because, again, you really have no way to know if that was the same coaster or not. It's not like a coaster is such a bizarre place to write your number (especially in a bar) so it is not unbelievable that it could have been some other guy. If it were written on a prosthetic leg or something, then yeah, I'd think it is pretty unlikely to be different. But, this was just a coaster, so not all that unusual.

In time, her actions will show you whether or not she is faithful, so no reason to cause issues now. If you can just forget it, then do so. If you think you need to talk about it or it will drive you crazy, then ask her about it, but do so carefully. In other words, more a casual thing. Maybe even kind of playfully/teasingly just say "Hey, I thought you said you didn't keep this" *wink wink* Then, she can explain.

Good luck to you.