Long overdue update

[Rebeccaa]

It is tough to know that the answer might be 'no' and then it is over however you aren't actually achieving anything other than tormenting yourself like this.

[Doggey]

Well I guess I should do it. Any suggestions on where to take her?

[Wakeup]

Moms tend to be overly positive when it comes to relationships between their kids. While forum-posters take the super-negative approach.

Have you asked her for some time out on the town?

This is so not correct that its scary. She has a boyfriend and her mother is encouraging her to not tell him while she strings along this poor sap. Sounds like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

OP: You should STOP being a sap and tell her to contact you when she's single. If you write her letters make them VERY personal and tell her about all the female soldiers you're bagging while you're away. She's such a buddy that you should be able to share such things with her. Pfffft.

[basilandthyme]

Well I guess I should do it. Any suggestions on where to take her?

You "guess" you should do it? You don't sound real sure there.

I hope you're not taking our words as confirmation that you should ask her out. Personally, I think that the issues if there is a 'no' combined with the fact that she's already got a boyfriend mean that you shouldn't ask her. Besides the fact that she's shown no real interest in you....

[Rebeccaa]

This is what you wrote in a previous post, so does she have a boyfriend or do you think she has a boyfriend or are you not sure? I must admit I would be changing my advice about asking her out if she has a current boyfriend.

"Whenever she talks about her and her boyfriend she always says "friend". She never refers to him as her BF.Even though it's pretty clear he is since he always is at her house. I may be taking it as a wrong sign or maybe it means something more."

[Doggey]

This is what you wrote in a previous post, so does she have a boyfriend or do you think she has a boyfriend or are you not sure? I must admit I would be changing my advice about asking her out if she has a current boyfriend.

"Whenever she talks about her and her boyfriend she always says "friend". She never refers to him as her BF.Even though it's pretty clear he is since he always is at her house. I may be taking it as a wrong sign or maybe it means something more."

She does. I'm pretty sure of it. But, she nevers refers to him as BF

[Doggey]

Alright. So, I decided that I'm going to end it. I want to be fair to her and tell her but I don't know how. Can I have some advise on how to end it?

[Doggey]

I need some advice soon. I plan on doing it tomorrow. I don't really know how to do it. The last thing I want is for her to hate me for it.

[TeeJay19]

First of all, good for you for having the strength to end it. From what I've read it sounds like this just isn't meant to be. I know it seems like you're never going to get over her, but once you distance yourself from her and starting dating other girls you will, and you'll be so much happier. It will suck for a little while, but after a few months you'll be so happy you did it.

As far as what to tell her, just tell her the truth. Tell her that you have feelings for her and as much as you enjoy having her in your life you just can't think of her as a friend. And the only way you can get over her is have some space. Tell her it't not personal, and your nod mad or upset with her. You just have to do what's best for you. Of course she'll be upset, but given some time I'm sure she'll understand why you did what you did.

Good luck.

[basilandthyme]

I need some advice soon. I plan on doing it tomorrow. I don't really know how to do it. The last thing I want is for her to hate me for it.

If you can't figure this out on your own, then you don't have the balls required to steal someone else's girlfriend. Seriously dude, this is a move which takes a degree of supreme confidence to pull off. The kind of confidence where the thought of failure isn't an option.

[Doggey]

Thanks TeeJay.

If you can't figure this out on your own, then you don't have the balls required to steal someone else's girlfriend. Seriously dude, this is a move which takes a degree of supreme confidence to pull off. The kind of confidence where the thought of failure isn't an option.

So asking for advice on something I've never done before means I don't have the balls to have someone's girl. I really don't agree with that at all.

[basilandthyme]

So asking for advice on something I've never done before means I don't have the balls to have someone's girl. I really don't agree with that at all.

It's about not running before you can walk.

- - - Updated - - -

The advice you're asking is akin to wanting advice on how to build a house when you can't use a drill. Or wanting to sew a ballgown when you can't use a machine.

This isn't a random girl you can practice your girl-stealing skills on. I wouldn't advise you against trying it on a random girl because you won't care so much about what the outcome is. But from what you describe with this girl, if you fail, then you have SO MUCH to lose.

- - - Updated - - -

But if you want to know how to do it - then this is what I'd do:

I assume you already possess the skills to sweep a single girl off her feet. You go in with those same skills and lure her away. Show by your actions and behaviour that you are a better choice and let her choose you.

[Doggey]

Alright... Well it's done. I'm not sure if she really understood why I was doing it but she respects it as far as I can tell... Maybe as soon point in the future we can try again. Thanks for the advice everyone.

[Rebeccaa]

You must at least feel some relief now that you don't have the stress of wondering what to do. It seems that she really did have a boyfriend, you did the right thing. You will get over her in time.