How is this Not Cheating?

[lightstar]

yes STD's are no joke! And hes not going to tell you the full truth anyway. He only told you what he had to because he caught clamydia! And hes lying.

[topazlight]

It is cheating, she couldn't just take his cock out if he didn't want her taking it out, he went along for the fun and games even though he was in a relationship with you. You were right to be upset and break up.

[dontaskme]

Agree with wakeup, there is no point of meeting to get answers from him. Whether it's vaginal penetration or vaginal touching, what difference does it make? He cheated and disrespected you and got STD as a consequence.

There was no drama when you broke up, keep it that way. Walk away with your dignity intact.

[dbxxsk]

Agree with wakeup, there is no point of meeting to get answers from him. Whether it's vaginal penetration or vaginal touching, what difference does it make? He cheated and disrespected you and got STD as a consequence.

There was no drama when you broke up, keep it that way. Walk away with your dignity intact.

I arranged to meet him either Weds or Thurs at 6 (to give him the money and get my letters, not to get answers) but he said he has work Thurs and on-call Weds. He will make an effort not to get called in and will let me know by 3pm Weds. I am annoyed. I just want to move forward in life already.

[lightstar]

can you post him a cheque or lodge the money in his bank account? you dont need to meet him

[dbxxsk]

He has my student loan letters...
I'm trying to ask a friend to do this for me.

[dbxxsk]

You broke up with him. Why do you have to meet him. Just tell him your results over the phone and then be done of him.

Why keep up all this drama by questioning him and needing to meet him face to face. What is your motive?

I followed your advice. I didn't meet up with him, my friend did to sort everything out. I didn't reply to the text he sent me. No drama. Haven't gotten my results back yet. Should I tell him about my result whether it's positive or negative?

[melancholia]

Should I tell him about my result whether it's positive or negative?

Only if you want to. Since he's already been tested and (hopefully) has started treatment, then you don't need to tell him. If you tested positive, you know it came from him, so you don't owe him anything at this point.

[dbxxsk]

Thank you. I just want to do what is objectively right and responsible.

[melancholia]

I know when I tested positive for it, my Dr. told me I had to tell anyone I'd been sexually intimate with within the past two months. Morally, you should tell anyone you've been intimate with within the past six months. Since your ex came to you with the positive test, and you have already been tested, you don't have to follow up with him about it. Also, if you tested positive, and are on treatment, you don't have to tell future partners that you've had it either, once you have completed treatment.

[benfletcher82]

I think interaction with other people in a sexual way is actually borderline cheating and a rightful deal breaker. It can come in different forms like interacting with cam girls or sexting a different girl or in this case getting a lap dance and actually physically interacting with the lap dancer.

Of course he might have a different perspective on cheating. I think it's important to talk about this earlier in the relationship so you know what the boundaries and limits are. We're all different and we all have different views, especially on such a touchy issue.

[Melo11]

Oh God! The same question again