Being Plan B - Having Served As Her Side Dude

[Martin Brault]

Not counting, but many moons ago. I had unknowingly been bamboozled into an intrim proxy covenant, disguised as a
legitimate and meaningful relationship with a woman I once loved. Earning me the title, 'Side Dude'. Mr Plan B!

Before I continue let me say this. The emotional pain caused by the kick to the cajones from knowing that you were duped
into believing the person you loved, never loved you back. Is far greater than that than a kick to your cajones by an out of
control child throwing a temper tantrum.

During my relationship with my ex girlfriend, I always had this feeling that something wasn't right. Things just seemed
odd. I felt as if maybe I wasn't the alpha male she truly wanted, that her heart belonged to another. Well! After the
breakup and over time, I've come to learn that my hunch was true. It turns out that my ex girlfriend never truly loved me,
I was just a stand in. Mr Plan B - the 'Side Dude'! I'm not saying she didn't care for me, but she wasn't in love with me.
That honor belongs to a guy she had known for many years and had been intimate with on several occasions. And let me add,
although I don't have proof, I've come to believe she messed with him on few occasions when we were a pseudo couple. Talk
about a blow to my ego. Wow! Moving on! Other than me having the feelings that something wasn't right, things seemed to be
normal. Yes, we had your normal relationship issues, disagreements and arguments. And we had issues with some in her family
not supporting our relationship and trying to break us up. But what her family didn't realize is, you can't break up that
that didn't exist. But again, between her and I, things seemed normal. We did everything together, we were inseparable.
But clearly it was mocked up theatricalism giving me a false sense of belonging, when in fact I was nothing
more than noise to kill the silence.

After three years apart, I still feel the 'Side Dude' blues.

[ayu]

awh man. i'm sorry to hear that. You deserve someone special. Well done on finally ending it with her though.

[Martin Brault]

awh man. i'm sorry to hear that. You deserve someone special. Well done on finally ending it with her though.

You are so right, I do deserve someone special. But you know? I think I'm going to not date for awhile. I'm going to take some time to learn to love myself again. Perhaps I'll not just be a better person, but also a better lover.

[Wakeup]

Its been three years. Why isn't she banished to the stage of indifference by now. You haven't given your chance the gift of acceptance that it's over. Nor have you given yourself the closure or the self-dialogue that reinforces your resolve that you are better off without someone that would use you for a human band aid because she's too weak to process her own pain and picked you to help her through it. What a C**t. So not worth the place in your heart you have let her stagnate you in.

Time to do the mental work you need to do to that will start you on your journey away from her to that blissful State of Indifference.

[Martin Brault]

Its been three years. Why isn't she banished to the stage of indifference by now. You haven't given your chance the gift of acceptance that it's over. Nor have you given yourself the closure or the self-dialogue that reinforces your resolve that you are better off without someone that would use you for a human band aid because she's too weak to process her own pain and picked you to help her through it. What a C**t. So not worth the place in your heart you have let her stagnate you in.

Time to do the mental work you need to do to that will start you on your journey away from her to that blissful State of Indifference.

I agree with you 100% about banishing her to the stage of indifference. But the 'C**t' part, I don't appreciate that. That was uncalled for.

[Wakeup]

Why? She is one.

[Martin Brault]

Why? She is one.

Regardless of the nefarious dynamics of the relationship, and the adversities in which I braved. Nevertheless! I'm not going to allow you or anyone to bad mouth my ex girlfriend. So I ask that you kindly abnegate from calling my ex girlfriend out of her name.

[Wakeup]

lmao .... Sure... whatever you say, Holmes.

A rose by any other name and all that jazz.