How do I proceed in this as a woman - need a man's opinion

[Kona]

Hi, My boyfriend and I are in a tough spot. Too many details to post but this is where we are now:

We've been together almost a year, known each other almost 5 yrs. We both said we are in love with each other. Both in our 40's. At the moment we live in different countries. We both have a lot of outside life complexities to deal with and recently it's been weighing on us. We don't have a problem with each other....it's all the stuff outside of us. It's come to a point where we both need to figure some things out which will determine how to proceed in this relationship. It's been getting to him a lot more because he has 2 kids (I have none) plus, he has a lot of responsibility being a VP at work. We worked together (that's how we met) so I know what he means.

He has been withdrawn lately in which he's acknowledged on his own and said he's sorry. We talked about it this week. I was very open and asked if he needs space or if he simply needs to not be in this right now. He quickly said he doesn't want to talk about us losing each other and he doesn't know if he needs space. He doesn't want me out of his life...he said he simply does not know what to do. All of the pressure has been getting to him and he has been feeling unhappy because of it (not unhappy with me just everything else). He said again ...he simply does not know what to do. He said the last thing he ever wants to do is to hurt my beautiful precious heart (his exact words).

He had to go on a 4 day work summit after our talk. I usually text him morning, but I purposely waited to text him - giving him space without him asking. After 2 days I text him saying I was thinking of him & missed him. I wasn't sure if he would text back, but he did within an hour. It wasn't much, but he did text back. I'm not sure what to think or how to proceed. How do I handle the withdrawn thing when he hasn't asked for space and seems so upset about us losing each other. It confuses me. Should I not contact him at all and wait for him to come to me even though he hasn't asked for space? Do I stay in contact but only quick text to let him know I'm thinking of him? I made it clear if he needs space to tell me, but he didn't. I can't help but wonder if he's just pulling away slowly to spare my feelings or if he's really just trying to figure some things out. Help! What should I do?

[Agent Smith]

men aren't as elaborate in their break up efforts as women. i think he's definitely just really stressed and overworked.

he needs to take a vacation before he implodes

[Kona]

@ Agent Smith
Hi, do you mean it sounds like he's wanting to break up? Or he's NOT wanting to....meaning he would just say it and not go through the space thing?

[Kona]

Do you mean it sounds like he's not thinking of ending it? It's hard to understand.